DON'T FEEL SORRY FOR ME SAYS BALLESTEROS

THESE are the shocking pictures of golf legend Seve Ballesteros which reveal the horrific legacy of his desperate fight against cancer.

His shaven head bares the massive scars from 19 hours of surgery on his malignant brain tumour.

His temple is deformed by an enormous, grotesque lump - the result of four life-saving operations.

His throat is ravaged by a tracheotomy wound after collapsing at Madrid airport a year ago.

His frail body has been weakened by an extensive course of chemotherapy. He has lost 75 per cent of vision in his left eye and has a limp in his left leg.

But, incredibly, Ballesteros still has the heart of a lion and the same ferocious willpower that won him three Opens, two Masters and a total of 91 tournaments during his glittering career.

And he has vowed not only to return to St Andrews for next summer's Open - but to WIN it again!

Luckiest

In an extraordinary interview to be screened on BBC1 on Wednesday night, Ballesteros makes this emotional plea to his fans:

"I am sure people will feel sorry or maybe cry when they see this programme. But I don't want people to feel sorry for me. I have had a good life.

"I've been the luckiest person in the world and am very happy. Throughout my life I have had so many great moments that I feel I have lived two or three lives more than the average person.

"I have had so much fun for so many years that this thing that has happened to me is only very little compared to other people who have tougher times.

"They don't have the opportunity to live a life so intense and as good as I did.

"So thank you very much. I love you all from my heart."

For the first time on British television, the Inside Sport programme will broadcast graphic images of the 52-year-old Spaniard's hospital visits, MRI and CT scans of his brain tumour and his neurosurgeon's honest diagnosis.

In one scene, Ballesteros is strapped into a vice-like apparatus on a hospital bed, his head covered in a mesh and a cubed case as the machine administers radium treatment.

In another, MRI pictures show the extent of the tumour while surgeon Javier Heredero explains how he had to remove a large chunk of the golfer's skull as his brain began to swell.

In the 40-minute documentary, Ballesteros also reveals how:

Golfing veteran Tom Watson has inspired him to make a comeback at St Andrews;

He has pushed his chemotherapy-ravaged body round the indoor swimming pool at his Spanish home 12,000 times as part of his exhausting rehabilitation;

He stole his two winning green Masters jackets from Augusta;

He suffers from loneliness following his divorce from wife Carmen.

"It has been a big shock for me," said Seve. "I went for lunch with my son and nephew and all of a sudden I was in the hospital's emergency ward. I realised it was a dangerous situation when I saw so many of my family in the room and when things are wrong you have to think pos- itively."

After four operations at Madrid's La Paz Hospital, Ballesteros has just completed a course of strength-sapping radiation therapy.

"Patience has never been my strongest point," he admitted. "And to spend 22 days in intensive care and 72 days in one room you need tremendous patience."

After finally being discharged, then came the gruelling rehabilitation.

"The doctor told me to walk 4km per day and I did that round my pool," he recalled. "For three months I walked more than 12,000 times around the pool against the clock to keep the left eye stronger. You have to fight, there is no other way to win."

Despite his illness, he is still as sharp as a needle. In a a quick-witted reference to his remarkable last-day Open victory over American Hale Irwin at Royal Lytham 30 years ago, he said:

"If you don't fight, if you pull the handkerchief like Hale, you don't win.

"The best thing is to be prepared, relax and be optimistic. Life is like sport. The key is to never give up."

He has even set up the Seve Ballesteros Foundation to investigate and research the cause of brain tumours. "Life has given me so much that I need to be nice to people," he said. "And that is the reason I created the foundation.

"But I was not an easy patient in hospital. Nine months without hitting a ball! I went through a lot of anxiety and I blamed other people. Like, when you play golf, it's always the caddie's fault."

Strength

Dr Heredero has been amazed by his fighting qualities.

He said: "The biggest thing that impresses me about Seve is his strength.

"He has fought on the golf course and now he is fighting in his life.

"These kind of tumours sometimes cause the brain to swell, so we had to take out the bone (cranium) to leave enough space for the brain to expand into the space. After the third operation we were optimistic."

Seve added: "When things go wrong you have to think positively.

"I think about my kids, brothers, about great moments in golf.

Ballesteros: Battler

"Nine months ago I was feeling useless. I couldn't walk, I couldn't do anything. But, progressively, I set myself goals."

As he started hitting golf balls again, he watched 59-year-old American Watson come within a whisker of winning this year's Open at Turnberry.

Seve admitted: "Watching Tom do well inspired me to say I can go to St Andrews next year. I had some fantastic moments at St Andrews. I won The Open there.

"It's great to think positively, to think I am going to be there again and have a chance to win. Why not?

"It's much better to think that way than to think I'm going to miss the cut and play poorly. But if I keep practising and keep progressing then I will be ready for St Andrews."

He cherishes his 1984 Open victory there (left). A huge woven rug depicting that win has pride of place on a wall at his villa in Pedrena.

"That was the greatest moment of my career," he insisted.

His bulging trophy room is crammed with gold putters, silver cups and two priceless green jackets - that he now confesses he pinched from Augusta after his triumphs in 1980 and 1983.

"It's bad to say it and I am sure the people in Augusta are not too happy, but I stole both jackets," he said. "Under the rules you are not supposed to take the jacket from the club. But I stole both!

"They sent me a letter asking if, by any chance, I had taken the jackets.

"I said 'Yes, I have the jackets. They are in my house. If you want you can come over and take them.' They never did."

He has two cars in his garage - a Ferrari and a Lamborghini. But he can't drive either now and has, begrudgingly, decided to sell the Lambo.

He'll miss it. He also misses Carmen and his children Javier, Miguel and Carmen. Ballesteros and his missus divorced five years ago after 24 years together. His housekeeper, also called Carmen, now looks after Seve.

But he said: "Sometimes when I come home I feel sad because I don't have anybody. My children are in Madrid. I am by myself. It's a big house to be alone in."

But he's not alone. From St Andrews to Santander, via Augusta, people across the world are willing him to win the biggest battle of his life . . .

Seve Ballesteros and His Fight for Life, an Inside Sport Special. BBC1, Wednesday, 10.45pm.

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