The Games that run like clockwork

SOMETHING VERY, very weird is happening to me here in Beijing. Maybe the smog has taken its toll.

Whatever the polar opposite is of Obsessive Compulsive Disorder, I've suffered from it since I can remember.

Life has been one long unmade bed.

But suddenly, I've gone all Becks.

Laying out gear for the next day is bad enough but how about this?

With the Yuan being about 12 to the pound, you are never without a wedge.

And after a night out, there's a fistful of notes of various values in every pocket.

Not only have I not been leaving them in my trousers, I have been doing the following.

Piling them up in ascending value and stacking them so that the head of Chairman Mao - a feature on every bank-note - is facing in the same direction.

Send for a shrink.

There used to be a bloke in my college who lined up the diagonal stripes on his duvet cover with those on his pillowcase. And he was barking.

There must be a reason.

And I reckon it's because this has been the most ordered sporting event I have ever covered.

Check out procedure for buying a beer.

You order your Tsingtao from one Perma-Smiling Operative.

She passes the order on to another P-SO.

She extracts the beverage from the fridge and passes it to another P-SO, who opens it.

Another P-SO takes over and hands it to you before the final P-SO in the chain takes your cash.

And then they all line up, summon up an extra-strength smile and chirp in unison ... 'Enjoy Yourself'.

There's a strict routine for everything. And it rubs off.

Now, if a bus journey takes longer - or shorter - than the allotted 39 minutes, you feel affronted.

For goodness sake, I've sat on a tube in a London tunnel for an hour and not thought twice about it.

But the Chinese see order as the key to the success of these Games.

And Team GB's cyclists obviously agree.

Apart from the awesome dominance inside the Laoshan Velodrome, the one noticeable thing was how many staff Great Britain had.

One to carry the bike, one to hold the helmet, one to help them saddle up, one to meet them after the race, one to collect the helmet and another to hand over a drink.

Meticulous preparation was just one of the keys to the remarkable British success inside the velodrome.

It has become the most hackneyed, cliched phrase in the sporting arena.

But it remains frighteningly accurate.

Fail to prepare, prepare to fail.

****One athlete who did fail was Paraguayan javelin thrower Leryn Franco. But she certainly did not fail to prepare.

The former beauty queen came 50th out of 51 in her event but still stole the show. After another spear dropped pitfiully quickly - a schoolboy with a ruler could have measured it - how did she react to the disappointment?

By expertly removing a hairband and allowing her amazing jet-black mane fall to the base of her back.

And then it was a strut towards the frenzied snappers.

It's a keenly-contested discipline but as the Olympic looker of 2008 goes, she is way out in front.

Little wonder Rafa Nadal was spotted chatting to her animatedly during the opening ceremony.