'AVE IT: Tickety-boo for Beckham

DAVID BECKHAM won't have any trouble getting tickets for AC Milan's Champions League trip back to his old haunt.

Becks could not bear to part with his four Old Trafford season tickets when he left Manchester United back in 2003.

"I've still got them. I'd love to take my sons one day," Becks claimed.

It might not be too long before the likes of old Goldenballs are the only ones who can afford a ticket at United.

Wes shuffles up another derby

NOT content with the sparks that flew during the recent Carling Cup clashes, Manchester United and City stars are facing another showdown, this time over the poker table.

Wes Brown has invited players from both sides to a Las Vegas-themed night at Mere Golf Club.

'Ave It is told a few of the United boys fancy themselves as card sharks - but some of the City players are looking to exact a little revenge on their neighbours for their recent cup defeat.

Super Stacey

THERE'S obviously the old gag about having the perfect face for radio (you know who you are, Mike Parry!)

But talkSPORT's latest recruit to their newsroom certainly doesn't fall into that category. She's Stacey McClean, a former S Club Junior who is heavily tipped to have a bright future behind the mic.

Reliant Steven

THEY won't have seen anything quite like it when Steven Taylor pulls up in his lovely jubbly new motor at Newcastle's training ground.

'Ave It has learned that the former England Under-21 captain, whose knee injury has curtailed the endless pranks he pulls, has gone and bought an Only Fools and Horses replica Reliant Robin.

The three-wheeler didn't come cheap at an estimated £3,000 and the well-built defender may have trouble balancing the vehicle if he ever drives it alone.

Our insiders are already laying bets on Taylor and best mate and namesake Ryan doubling up as Batman and Robin.

It's hic, hic hooray for Tom

TOM HICKS needed one or two gentle nudges to be kept awake during his impromptu visit to Anfield last week.

Was it the very generous in-flight hospitality during his trip from Texas?

Or sheer boredom at the dullness of Liverpool's 2-0 win over Bolton?

Apparently the official explanation is that the Liverpool co-owner was seriously jet-lagged and that's why he could barely keep his eyes open.

Palace boob

THERE appears to be confusion among Crystal Palace fans over who is to blame for the club being placed into administration last month.

Chairman Simon Jordan has suffered criticism and at Selhurst Park during this week's FA Cup tie with Wolves, one fan was overheard saying: "Even I've probably got more money than Jordan."

His pal replied: "Yeah, but she's got bigger t**s."

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