MAKING A MEAL OF IT

I HAVE spent more time on a coach this week than at home thanks to our 10-hour round trip to Cardiff on Tuesday and eight-hour journey to Watford.

The tedium led to some friendly banter with the driver Steve. Wherever we seem to go he manages to find traffic.

"Turn the traffic finder off" and "you only have one job, and you can't do that" are regular shouts.

Somehow we always end up stranded on country roads with Steve trying to perform a three-point turn on a single-track lane.

Last season it took us three and a half hours to do the 70-minute trip to Stoke - we only arrived 30 minutes before kick-off!

The gaffer had to do his team talk and pin up the set-pieces on the coach.

Phil the physio had to give strappings and massages on the front seat.

And we had a delayed pre-match meal of cold toast and cold beans in the changing room before the game.

Sick

After all that we somehow managed a point.

Five years ago at Brentford we were too late for the pre-match meal on the way to play Bristol City so we stopped at a petrol station for tubes of Pringles and cream eggs. It seemed to help us as we won that game 2-0.

Chocolate is not normal for a pre-match meal. It is always pasta, which we are sick of by the time we get home from away games. We have it Friday after training, when we get to the hotel at night and then again three hours before kick-off.

There seems to be a set menu for every team: spaghetti bolognese, dry chicken fillets, veg and baked beans. And for dessert it's rice pudding without fail.

We can tolerate this food most of the time but for a noon kick-off, it's particularly hard to force down spag bol in the early hours.

Some clubs are even stricter with diets. A few years ago when I was at Hull, we had a dietician for a brief period. He even stopped us having beans, believing they contained too much salt and he introduced a variety of new foods and drinks in the changing room.

Willing

In a Cup match against Tranmere that went to extra time, he passed me 'carbohydrate gel' in a little packet while I was on the pitch.

Being so tired at this stage I was willing to try anything, I ripped it open and swallowed some but it was so bad I ended up heaving on the pitch.

There was no sign of any space age food before Saturday's unbelievable game at Watford. I'd like to think that the beans helped me score in our 4-3 win, but it's more likely that they led to me giving away a penalty instead.

The wind and rain probably helped us along the way, too.

All the lads were buzzing after the game and at least we got to choose what we drank during the celebrations afterwards.

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