BOSSES LOSING OUR RESPECT

ARSENE WENGER is now so unfeasibly smart and funny that it verges on the irritating.

He has become the French Stephen Fry.

"My eyes aren't great and my ears are even worse," smirked the Premier League's resident intellectual wit.

He was referring to claims from Roberto di Matteo that Jack Wilshere had provoked the violent reaction of Jerome Thomas by insulting the former Arsenal academy student.

In the grand scheme of things, this was a trifling incident in a trifling competition. But the thoughts of both managers were depressing.

With nimble linguistics, Wenger sidestepped a discussion of Wilshere's dramatic over-reaction.

With vague accusation, Di Matteo camouflaged the fact that Thomas' immaturity had cost West Brom a shot at the Carling Cup.

The Italian is not yet a Premier League manager. But he has adopted the code.

When it comes to your own players, then you should speak no evil, speak no evil, speak no evil. A depressing variation on the wise monkeys theme.

At a League Managers' Association conference at The Emirates on Thursday, Wenger, David Moyes, Gianfranco Zola and Stuart Pearce spoke eloquently and with fascinating insight.

And anyone who has spent time in the company of Mark Hughes and Sam Allardyce cannot fail to be hugely impressed with their knowledge, drive, dedication and demeanour.

So why is the public taken for a fool every time one of the LMA's number is asked to account for one of his players' indiscretions?

Remember Gerard Houllier? Another urbane, bright, sophisticated managerial import from France.

But after Robbie Fowler celebrated a goal against Everton by dropping to his knees and sniffing his way along the by-line, Houllier claimed he was mimicking a grass-eating celebration imported by Cameroon defender Rigobert Song.

It was one of the few times a gathering of reporters has responded to a manager's comments with incredulous laughter.

But 10 years on and precious little has changed. Hence, Hughes describes Craig Bellamy's shove against the idiot who trespassed during the Manchester derby as self-defence.

Against what? The menace of a bloke being pinned by four gorillas?

Allardyce once again seeks to defend the odious El-Hadji Diouf who, incidentally, would have been the aggrieved party at Goodison Park had he not responded to a ballboy's scallywag jape by scandalously claiming he had been showered with bananas.

And Wenger continues to rebutt any suggestions that any of his players ever bring the game into disrepute. (He may have proved Artur Boruc's shirt-sleeve brushed Eduardo but his legal victory against UEFA was a triumph only for simulation.)

Now, we all know the thinking behind this blinkered defence.

Loyalty, dressing-room morale, blah, blah, blah. But it is doing the game a disservice. And driving a greater wedge between the punters and the professionals.

It's that word respect again. The current crop of managers are talented, forward-thinking and passionate. But they would get a lot more respect if they, for once, acknowledged the sins of their own.

"Craig shouldn't have done that. I'll be having a word with him."

"El-Hadji has got to cut it out. We'll make sure it doesn't happen again." Simple, honest stuff.

Insight

And maybe the FA wouldn't then have to waste their time sorting through countless incidents of petulant or even contemptible behaviour every Monday morning.

At the end of that League Managers' Association conference, the organisation's chief executive, Richard Bevan, said: "The . . . LMA members who spoke today gave an incredible insight into their roles, demonstrating that they are outstanding strategists, talent managers and leaders."

They are indeed.

But they are also the group of people who - more than anyone else, more than any governing body - have the duty to shape and regulate the behaviour of players.

And if their public utterances are to be taken at face value, they are shirking from that duty.

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