It's not the glowing verdict that Wigan fans might expect of one of Super League's brightest and best new stars. After all, this is the scrawny stand-off who many believe has got the X-factor written all over him. He's also a player who could hold Wigan's Challenge Cup final fate in his hands in next Saturday's semi with Warrington.
But, there again, the shock assessment of the 20-year-old England starlet does come from his big brother and team-mate Joel.
Sam is non too complimentary in return, calling Joel a "grumpy old man, who is always trying to keep me in check." The two brothers do agree on one thing though - their response if ever the fists start flying during games.
Sam said: "Joel likes a fight! I'm the opposite - I go the other way if there's any trouble."
But with 6ft 2in forward Joel weighing over 16 stone, 5ft 11in and 13 stone Sam doesn't reckon he needs his help anyway.
It's the sort of banter that goes on between two brothers who are becoming Wigan favourites. It's a combination that fans hope will clinch Wigan a play-off spot, and a first Challenge Cup final appearance for five years. Standing in their way next Saturday are Warrington, a club the brothers grew up supporting.
Joel, 22, said: "Warrington were in our hearts because I was born there and mum and dad are both from there. But we joined Wigan St Pats when we started playing and Wigan signed us at 13 so we changed allegiance and now our loyalties lie solely with Wigan.
"We've got cousins who are still Warrington fans but I think we're starting to turn them into secret Wigan fans now. I still look for Warrington results, but usually in the hope that they've lost!"
Joel made his Wigan debut four years ago, under previous boss Denis Betts, but only established himself in the first team last year.
While Joel's rise has been steady, Sam's has been sensational. He scored FIVE tries on his debut in a 106-8 Challenge Cup thrashing of Whitehaven last season.
That was his only appearance last year, but he's had a massive impact since - earning a call-up to the England squad for the June Test against France.
His devastating darting runs, allied with sterling defensive work, made him an instant hero. Coach Brian Noble's insistence on resting him occasionally went down badly with supporters keen to see their new star.
But with first choice Tim Smith now out injured for the year, Tomkins has taken over - and his starting role has coincided with an upturn in results.
Wigan look guaranteed to make the play-offs, but it's the Challenge Cup final that has got the brothers fired up.
Sam said: "Making my debut in the Challenge Cup and scoring five tries is a day I'll never forget. Everyone wants to play in a Challenge Cup final. It would be fantastic if we made it this year."
Joel played in last year's play-off wins over Bradford and Catalans, as well as the 18-14 final eliminator loss to Leeds.
But he said: "They were big games but the Challenge Cup is that extra bit special and the semi-final will be the biggest game of my life."
Win or lose, the brothers know there's another major milestone looming - the day kid brother Logan plays alongside them. The 16-year-old is already playing in Wigan's reserves and tipped to make his full debut in the next couple of years. Sam said: "Logan's stocky and a hooker. But at least it makes it easy for us all to get in the same team. If we were built the same we'd be fighting for the same places!"
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