ROCK TURNS INTO PEBBLE

OUR centre-half, Ian Evatt, has been on a weights and diet kick and lost about two stone.

If we ever need to find him, we just go to the scales in the gym - he'll be on them in his Homer pants looking very pleased with himself. His nickname is The Rock but he's slimmed down so much, the lads are all calling him The Pebble!

The really good news for Evo is that he can now take down all the McDonalds Big Mac pictures and 'man boobs' articles we put on his peg at the training ground.

Somehow, all that stuff has magically appeared above Danny Coid's peg.

I've been getting stuck into my new weights regime after coming off the crutches following my knee ligament injury.

I want to look more like Cristiano Ronaldo than Peter Crouch when I finally make my comeback, although it's probably unlikely.

This isn't the first time I've tried to beef up but I always end up looking no different than when I started. That was none more evident than in my time at Hull, when Alton Thelwell and I were injured at the same time and did weights together.

Within two weeks Alton looked like Popeye and was complaining that he felt too big while I looked . . . exactly as I'd looked before.

Massage

I have been sat in our canteen watching the lads train quite a bit this week and it always seems like they have so much fun. I'm sure when I was training it was never that enjoyable and all the lads used to moan!

As I was thinking about this and feeling a little down about the whole injury thing one of our masseuses, Anne, came and sat next to me. I thought she'd try ot cheer me up but instead she started preaching to me and telling me that if I came for more massages I would never have got injured in the first place.

I counted to 10 then calmly asked how a massage could stop a 15st defender landing on my knee.

We're really making it hard for ourselves in the fight to avoid relegation. We've finished four of the last five games with 10 men.

This week it was our fiery new signing from Rangers, Charlie Adam, who got his marching orders for stamping on former Seasider Richie Wellens.

There was so much frustration in the crowd that the discipline secretary of the local Blackpool league stormed to the front of the stand to berate the player and was promptly escorted out of the ground.

I wonder how he explained that to his bosses!

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