ANDREY ARSHAVIN'S WACKY WORLD

WELCOME to the wacky world of Arsenal's £15million record sign- ing Andrey Arshavin.

A world where he dreams of being a HORSE in a field, surrounded by guinea pigs!

Where he had to be PINNED down by four medics as his dentist tried to pull out a tooth.

Where he was EXPELLED from school for vandalising a classroom.

Where he was BITTEN by dogs on visits to his grandparents.

And where his stunning girlfriend Julia has EMBARRASSED him already by accusing Londoners of being dirty and scruffy.

The Gunners' deadline-day signing from Zenit St Petersburg has been surrounded by controversy, claims and counter-claims.

On the eve of today's North London derby at White Hart Lane, Sport of the World lifts the lid on the 27-year-old Russian's extraordinary life.

In his book, bizarrely entitled 555 Questions and Answers on Women, Money, Politics, Football, superstar Arshavin gives a fascinating insight into his own incredible career.

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Arsenal fans will be praying the midfielder with a degree in women's fashion can make their dreams of silverware come true.

But Arshavin's own re-occurring dream is peculiar. "I'm a horse in a field," he admits. "And there are guinea pigs all around me - it's a nightmare. I think death is just like a dream, except the dream lasts for eternity.

MODEL PRO - Arshavin unveils his collection of women's clothing last spring

"When we sleep we don't feel anything and maybe death is like that. But I'm afraid, more than anything, of the death of my closest loved-ones."

Fortunately, Arshavin's world does not all revolve around four-legged animals and the Grim Reaper. For he also fantasises about scoring the perfect goal.

"I sleep till 10 or 11 o'clock," he adds. "And the goal I dream of scoring is to lob the ball over the keeper from the centre of the field. I want to do it, when I am near the centre circle and when the keeper isn't expecting it.

Taunts

"I also have a desire to curve the ball in the net direct from a corner. Victory is my goal in life. It doesn't matter what I am doing - I want to win. Victory is the reason I walk on to the field. It is the thing for which I keep on training."

Arshavin has fought all his life. As a kid, he had to sleep on the floor of his divorced mother Tatyana's cramped flat in St Petersburg. And, even as captain of his country, he had to endure taunts from jealous fans.

He recalled: "Three years ago, I used the underground and fans of rival club Spartak Moscow recognised me and shouted: 'Look, the homeless (a derogatory nickname for Zenit) don't have money, so they use the metro!' "

Arshavin had a tough childhood and added: "I remember being the last child to leave kindergarten and that was sad. The other children's parents picked them up at 5pm but my mama only arrived at 7pm after work.

"I used to go to my grandparents' village near Tver. I helped milk cows and gather mushrooms but I was bitten by the dogs there.

"However, my saddest memory is when I had a toothache. I was sent to a clinic to have it pulled out. But I was held down by four doctors and the fifth came with the tongs! I remember this as if it has happened yesterday. I managed to escape but then another, more powerful man came. After that I didn't visit a dentist for 20 years.

"I behaved badly at school. When I was in the second form, I tore down the registering journal of the class.

"After that they expelled me and moved me to another school, just opposite the textile factory where my mama worked. I studied there till the fifth form and then I was moved to the special sport class.

Modest

"By the time I finished I had a good command of maths and, astonishingly, I was also good at chemistry."

And the chemistry certainly clicked when he met radio presenter Julia, his girlfriend and mother of their two children - three-year-old son Artyom and nine-month-old daughter Yana - six years ago.

"I was a modest guy and I'm the same now," he said. "There were only six girls in my class and you can't make a lot of that! But I was never a womaniser, though, to be honest, I envied the guys who were popular with the girls. Yes, I met girls - but I never met two at a time."

The family are already looking for a house near The Emirates. But Julia (left, with Andrey and baby Artyom) has admitted, on Arshavin's website, she hates London and even the player confesses he is daunted about leaving his homeland for the first time.

Arshavin, set to be on the bench today, said: "I've never left Russia before. These are new feelings for me and I need to get accustomed to them. Everything in London is going to be unusual and new. But in professional terms I've no doubt I made the right move."

Andrey Arshavin is part of Nike Sportswear's 'V is for Victory' campaign, celebrating the iconic Eugene Track Jacket, shot by Rankin. To read more, go to www.nikesportswear.com

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