Too hard to call

WELL, I hate to say I told you so, but er . . . I told you so.

JOHN and EDWARD ride again. They live to fight another day and continue with their secret mission to divide and rule the nation.

Their brave (okay, weird) adaptation of Britney's Oops! . . . I Did It Again was enough to keep them in the competition for another week and condemn poor RACHEL (again) and RIKKI to the dreaded Final Showdown.

(Incidentally, I'm convinced Rikki's mistake was to ditch the hat. I think it gave him the courage to sing to millions - it was his equivalent of Samson's hair. Of course, I'm not suggesting that Cheryl was his Delilah!)

Now, bearing in mind that I've never seen the Britney video, the Titanic bit was especially bonkers, and left me with something of a sinking feeling.

But that performance by the twins sums up what the series has been like so far. UNPREDICTABLE.

This is only my third series, but I don't remember a more open X Factor. Usually, the eventual winner tends to keep their head down in the early stages and then blossoms in the second half of the competition.

This year however, every taxi driver, on-strike postal worker, corner shop owner and waiter I speak to has a different opinion of who's going to come out on top in 2009, and trust me that's a lot of opinions.

Yeah, I know a lot of people are saying that DANYL is an early favourite - and boy can that guy sing. But never underestimate how much people love a journey (Leon Jackson anyone?).

Look around and you'll see it really is anyone's game.

For instance, who'd have thought JAMIE ARCHER would have nailed a Christina Aguilera song?

Then there's Geordie JOE.

Note perfect last week according to Simon. There's no fog on the Tyne for him, just clear blue skies and blazing sunshine lighting up a path to the final.

OLLY was also blinding. He's a born performer and boy can he move. He's got legs of jelly, though I've no idea how he gets them to wobble in time to the music.

LLOYD took on a massive Leona number last week and although he found it tough, that face is always going to win him the ladies' vote.

And I haven't even mentioned LUCIE, STACEY, RACHEL or MISS FRANK yet, all of whom are equally strong contenders.

So despite Simon's confidence, which is reaching critical mass, I reckon we might be in for a few surprises this year.

Just a word about Rachel.

Lord only knows what the poor girl has done to deserve a double Final Showdown whammy.

You could see just how difficult and emotional it was for her last week, but as Simon said, the judges make their decisions based on those second performances. And on the night she pulled out yet another brilliant vocal show and deserved to go through in my opinion.

For her sake I really hope she doesn't end up in the same predicament again this weekend. Just in case she does though, I've been wringing out my shoulder pads all week in preparation for what might lie ahead.

I'm really enjoying the new Sunday shows. They're a lot of fun, especially as I get to meet the guests we have on, and I'd feel remiss if I didn't mention Whitney Houston. Okay, so firstly I thought her performance was great (although I thought Cheryl's was amazing and stole the show).

But interviewing her afterwards was a little strange - she didn't look at me . . . at all! (Am I that much of an ogre?).

As a rule I do like to help a damsel in distress, but given the fact that I could barely get her to make eye contact with me, I don't think the offer of help with that wayward bra strap would have gone down well.

But I love getting the big American artists on the show - you always come away with a story to tell.

I just hope Michael Buble doesn't need any help with his outfit tonight (I'm fairly sure he won't be wearing a bra).

And yes, I know he's Canadian, but he's huge in the States and that's what I meant by "big American artist" (at least that's my story and I'm sticking to it.

A special mention must go to Whitney's legendary producer Clive Davies, who now has his own chair at the X Factor, the ultimate honour.

I had to resist the temptation to make a Frank Butcher/Mike Reid lookalike gags. What I'd have given to hear him go, 'Oh Pat! Oh Pat!'.

Another special mention must also go to Louis. Great to have him back, it's not been the same without him.

I know he watched last week's shows and has a word or two to say about how things have been going in his absence.

Should be interesting. Welcome home, buddy.

• Dermot: Saint Jedward
• Frankly, the twins should win
• Kandy Rain Get 'Em Off
• Cheryl Cole marches to Number One
• Houston, we have a problem!
• X Factor babe starred in series of porn films

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