Michelle, my belle

For this week, I am mostly liking Moaning Miseryguts Michelle.

Don't know why, really. I guess I'm a bit of a softie, maybe even an old style English gentleman, and am finding her tears endearing.

It won't last, of course. Next week I'll have decided she's fake and is playing up to the cameras. A week's a long time in BB world.

But hey, what's with all the paranoia? First there's Michelle wondering what people will think of Coolio's joke that she and Ben will become an item. Dumb joke, maybe taken a little too far, I guess.

But it's infectious! Tommy, inspired perhaps by La Toya's hour and a half ramblings ( "philosophising" according to voiceover man Marcus ) about little green men, was next, apologising for dancing with her, and hoping the papers wouldn't misinterpret it as flirting.

Well, I hate to break it to you, Thomas, but the lovely Michelle wouldn't go for a greying Scotch leftie like you in a million years. Still, he's not the only one. La Toya, I can now exclusively reveal, is also a bit of a fruitcake.

Let's analyse her philosophy in full:

"Everything exists and everything is here. Who put it here? How did it get here? It had to start somewhere. If people believed that we're the only planet on this earth they have to be totally insane I believe".

On the other hand let's not. We are the only planet on this earth, La Toya. I just rang up Patrick Moore and he told me: it's official.

Strangely, I'm still a little worried about Lucy. She's taken nomination incredibly well, especially considering that Terry considered her the "least talented". Compared to Michelle? What about Tommy? That's harsh. And she hasn't got her boobies out yet, so how can we tell?.

Compare and contrast that with Ulrika's post-nomination tantrum.

"You don't want some old hag like me with her tits down by the floor hanging around here", she exclaimed.

You said it, babe! Evict the old hag now.

Oh yes, what was the answer to yesterday's quiz? Well, the only male to be the first evictee on British BB was¿. Lisping boxer, Chris Eubank, from the very first CBB.

That's right. He was more unpopular than Vanessa Feltz. How did that happen?