
The new Rugy Park gaffer claims his side are crying out for bawl boys as they attempt to push their way up the table and wishes he had half-a-dozen players as gobby as himself and No 2 Jimmy Nicholl.
Calderwood insists that silence isn't golden - and explains that's why he gave the captain's armband to mouthy Manuel Pascali.
He said: "We have experienced players who should be leading more than they are. Once they're on the pitch it's their responsibility to sort things out for themselves.
"They are a very quiet team but you find that just about everywhere these days. If you ask any other manager they'll probably tell you the same thing. It's a kind of sickness which is creeping into football and I don't know why that's happened.
"It's down to personalities, I suppose, or the lack of them. Players want to follow the leader but that's difficult if there aren't any. It used to be that most teams had four or five captains but that's not the case now.
"I'd say that Jamie Hamill and Craig Bryson are two of our best players but they're so quiet. It's a sad day when Jimmy Nicholl, Sandy Clark and I are the loudest people on the training pitch.
"Tony Mowbray's probably saying the same thing. It's amazing.
"In my day if you lost your bonus you'd grab someone in the dressing room and end up fighting - and they weren't anything like the bonuses on offer today.
"The reason I made Manuel captain was because he's a talker. The other players might not be able to understand him but at least they'll hear him!"
Pascali, 28, will try to make himself heard in the basement battle at Falkirk on Wednesday - and he reckons that his team-mates should learn Italian so that he can curse them during games.
He said: "It's hard for me sometimes because whenever I get angry I speak in Italian.
"The other players should probably learn to speak it too but it's always the same with footballers - when you learn a new language the first words you want to use are the bad ones!
"Some players answer back to me because I am always talking to them but I think that is a good thing for the team."
Pascali believes that Jim Jefferies quit Rugby Park at the right time for himself and the club and now he's confident that Calderwood will keep them up. He said: "Apart from the Motherwell game, which came just one day after the new manager had taken the job, we've played well in every game.
"We are enjoying it more than before because we are playing good football and that's good for us, the supporters, everybody.
"Footballers are strange and sometimes we need things to change, to hear a different voice. Jimmy gave us confidence and, with people like Mehdi Taouil and Craig Bryson and the new guys, we can play the way we want to.
"We have to keep going. Okay, we beat Celtic on Tuesday night but Falkirk also won at Aberdeen.
"The Celtic result was great for us but we need to play like that for the last 15 games, starting with Falkirk in midweek.
"Robbie Keane's first match was a special day for every Celtic supporter and the game was supposed to be a party for him but we played a little joke on them.
"It was a victory to remember."
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