I'm glad I know the truth at last

HEARTBROKEN Margaret Ann Cummings sobbed with relief last night as she told how the nightmares that had haunted her since her son's murder have finally stopped - now that she knows the truth about his death.

For five years, the grieving mum woke up every night bathed in sweat, crying out for her little boy Mark.

She'd yearned to know how he died and how much he'd suffered at the hands of sick killer Stuart Leggate.

Now, for the first time since she lost her beloved boy in June 2004, Margaret Ann feels at peace.

The confession letter from Mark's killer has helped heal her raw pain. Her imagination can no longer run wild and conjure up hideous images of how her little boy might have suffered.

She now knows he wasn't raped by his killer. She is desperately proud that her innocent eight-year-old stood up to his attacker and REFUSED to give in to his sick demands.

He died because he said NO to a vile, desperate paedophile - and that makes Margaret Ann's heart swell with pride.

And she's comforted that little Mark was thinking of her at the very end.

A stream of tears flowed down her cheeks as she read how her boy's last words were: "I want my mum."

Shoulders shuddering with emotion, she wept: "I read the hard part, about how Mark died and how he asked for me, and I felt like I was there with him through his whole ordeal.

"To know Mark was thinking of me brought us together in a spiritual kind of way. I know now that he knew how loved he was. He called for me and I was there, in a way, holding his hand.

"When I read that in the letter, it healed the pain a wee bit.

"Mark was so kind and he always cheered you up when you felt down. And he's managed to do that again.

"He was the bravest, loveliest wee boy you could imagine. And he stood up for his rights that night, at eight years old, and it makes me so proud."

As her tears dripped on the beast's letter gripped in her shaking hands, Margaret Ann revealed: "Since reading this I've stopped having the horrible nightmares about Mark's murder that I had suffered for years.

"I can finally start to remember him as a lovely wee boy. I'm learning to smile, even laugh, again.

"Until now I could only picture him on a mortuary slab with all his injuries and torture myself with thoughts of what may have happened to him. The things I imagined I can't even describe.

"For five years I had wanted answers. I NEEDED to know the truth."

Grief etched on her face, she went on: "Now I know what Leggate did - and it wasn't as violent as I'd feared.

"I'm relieved he didn't rape Mark. That's a huge, huge relief. The nightmare has stopped and I can see Mark in my dreams now. He is running about and he is happy."

Twisting her hands as she struggled with her emotions, Margaret Ann praised her little son for his incredible bravery in his last moments.

She said: "To know that Mark was killed because he said no to Leggate makes me so, so proud. I'm relieved my wee boy stood up for his beliefs.

"Not even Leggate trying to bribe him would make Mark give in to him. I feel so incredibly proud that an eight-year-old had the guts to stand up to an adult like that. My Mark put Leggate behind bars - it's just awful that he had to give his life to do it."

Then, pausing to take a deep breath, Margaret Ann admitted she had even blamed herself for her son's death.

She said: "I always knew Mark so well, and on the night of the search for him I knew deep down that something bad had happened.

"I could feel the pain inside me and the fear building up in my stomach.

"I wondered then, and I have for five years, whether I could have done something different to protect him.

"Why had he gone to Leggate's flat to get cleaned up from all the car grease? I wondered what I'd done wrong. Was Mark SCARED to come home to me all dirty?

"I wouldn't have been angry. That's just part and parcel of being a child.

"Then I'd torture myself wondering if I had presented Mark in the wrong way, so that Leggate was attracted to him. Or had I in some way left him out there to be snatched?"

But with a resigned sigh, she added: "Now I know there was nothing in the world that I could have done to stop Leggate doing what he did.

"I can't blame myself any more. I feel the burden has finally lifted."

However, even as she wiped away her tears, Margaret Ann made it clear she has NO sympathy for the cowardly beast who slaughtered her son. Her eyes burning with rage, she fumed: "Leggate still blames everyone but himself.

"I feel really, really angry that a lowlife like him chose to blame the authorities for his actions. He knew he had problems but he made the decision to LIE to them and pull the wool over their eyes. He said he was over his attraction to little boys.

"How do you get inside the mind of somebody like that who is out to lie? Leggate had the power to get help for himself and he chose not to.

"He says he didn't trust anybody and he didn't tell social workers or police the truth. He is the only person in the world to blame for choosing to end a little child's life in such an uncaring manner - as if it was done every day.

"I think all people like him should be made to write down their horrific crimes and face up to them."

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