Boxer Gary McArthur on jealous rage at Dons star

BOXING champ Gary McArthur has opened his heart to tell of the suicidal rage that drove him to smash his love rival's flash motor with a baseball bat.

The talented fighter was this week found guilty of battering Aberdeen soccer ace Zander Diamond's £42,000 BMW X6 TEN times, causing £8,000 worth of damage.

Gutted Gary had been floored when lover Nadine Hardie ditched him after four years together.

And he was KO'd totally when he then discovered that she was dating Zander and had upgraded to the more glamorous life of a football WAG - confirming his fears that she didn't think he was good enough.

But it was when pretty Nadine took the Dons ace out with her parents within just four months - something she'd NEVER done with Gary - that his pent-up frustration finally erupted.

In a sensational bare-all interview, remorseful Gary revealed how he:

PLANNED to marry Nadine - but slowly realised she was determined to become a footballer's WAG

HIT the bottle to blot out his pain and wanted to KILL himself after the love of his life left him

DEEPLY regrets his crazed bat attack and fears it could end his boxing career, and

WISHES Nadine and Zander well - and was GLAD that court gave him a last glimpse of the girl he still loves.

Last night Gary, 27, of Clydebank, told the News of the World: "The attack was a moment of madness. I was still in love with Nadine but knew I'd never be good enough for her. I was full of rage and anger.

"It was the worst mistake I've ever made in my life but I can't turn back the clock. I just hope I can turn things around.

"I've lost Nadine and if I can't box, I'm left with nothing."

The slugger has already lost out on £100,0000 prize money while waiting on an outcome to his court case.

And now the British Masters lightweight champ could be stripped of his boxing licence - which could leave him PENNILESS.

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In a frank and emotional interview, Gary told us how he'd clung to a hope of making Nadine his wife that seemed increasingly forlorn.

In their final year together, she began working as a hostess on match days at Celtic Park and was no longer satisfied with nights out with Gary in their home town.

He sighed: "Nadine wanted to be a footballer's wife - she's always had hair extensions and fake tan.

"She started going to these posh places in the town like Karbon and One Up. She wanted glamour - and I wasn't good enough any more.

"She hung about in these circles of girls who dated footballers."

It was a knockout blow when benefits assessor Nadine, 26, dumped him in September last year.

But when Gary found out that she had started dating defender Zander, 24, he was crushed.

He said: "I had hoped to marry Nadine one day but instead I found myself alone, hearing she was with a new guy.

"I was in a really dark place, I drank too much and was out every night trying to pretend I was OK. I was full of anger and tears - in a really bad state."

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Gary plunged into months of deep depression, drowning his sorrrows as he struggled to cope.

Then one night in January, Gary finally snapped when a pal texted to tell him Nadine and Zander were enjoying a cosy meal with her mum Maureen and stepdad Andy McKelvie.

Hanging his head with shame, the fighter explained: "I'd had this build-up of emotion - I was still in love with Nadine, I felt like I had lost everything in my life and I was totally lost.

"She was gone and I felt like I was nothing. I always felt deep down I wasn't good enough for Nadine - I was never invited out with her mum and stepdad.

"When I heard they were all having a meal together, I was full of anger. I left the house, I think I wanted to see if it was true. I was so full of rage that it's all a bit of a blur. I was right upset - crying a lot.

"I drove to where she stays and saw Zander's car, with the private reg. In a burst of emotion, I wanted him to leave, I didn't want him to be in the house with Nadine.

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"So I sent her a text threatening to break his legs - although I'd never do that. Then I realised the aluminium bat was in my boot, I'd been using it for training."

Gary quietly admitted: "My intention was to destroy the car. I hit the windscreens, the side windows, the back lights, the front lights, the bonnet and the side doors.

"I was so full of rage that it's all a bit of a blur but I stopped because the damage was done."

Gary then calmly walked away. He explained: "Afterwards I almost felt relief, like that was the final nail in the coffin and I could move on.

"I went to a pal's and I slept better that night than I had in ages."

But the relief was short-lived - the next day Gary was arrested and spent the night in a cell. He was released on bail and warned not to go near Nadine.

And that's why his heart lurched at Dumbarton Sheriff Court on Wednesday when he was fined £1,000 and ordered to pay Zander the same in compensation.

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Although deeply remorseful for the vandalism, he couldn't help enjoying seeing her.

Shamed Gary softly wept: "I was still in love with her when I attacked the car, and I will always love her. I thought at one point that I'd never see her again - I might never again. So it was good to see her in court one last time."

The champ told us how he fell for Nadine quickly after meeting her at Clydebank nightspot Sunset Boulevard in 2004.

Gary smiled sadly as he said: "We were really happy.

"I remember the first time we kissed was in the Boulevard. And on our first date I was really nervous because I didn't take lassies out much. I invited her to mine and got her a wee bottle of wine then I booked a nice restaurant - Paperinos, in Glasgow - because I wanted to show her a good time.

"I was already falling in love."

At first, Nadine was a great support as Gary battled to become the British Masters lightweight champion in November 2007.

He said: "Nadine was great for my character, she gave me a lot of confidence. Boxing is a hard game and she was always there driving me."

The couple enjoyed nights at the cinema and romantic holidays to sunshine hotspot Ibiza.

But tragically, their relationship began to crumble as Gary's glittering career faltered because a hand injury kept him out of the ring for 14 months.

And her new job at Celtic Park seemed to make the tension worse. He tearfully admitted: "I knew something wasn't right.

"She wasn't affectionate any more, she didn't want to be with me in that way. She didn't act like somebody who loved me."

Still he wanted to believe in their fairytale and even thought about building up the courage to propose in a bid to hold them together.

With his confidence crumbling, he was hearted when she agreed to his offer to buy a little lovenest.

The fighter spent months scouring for a dream place - eventually finding a flat in the village of Bowling, just outside Clydebank.

He added: "I would have done anything to cling on to the relationship.

"I felt like me and Nadine were about 14 because we both lived at our parents' homes and we just sat in our bedrooms watching DVDs.

"I made about £15,000 a year boxing and I told Nadine maybe we should just get a council house, but she wanted more.

"She wanted a nice house and all the glamour. I managed to eventually find us a wee place and I thought it would be perfect.

"I was even willing to take some equity out the house that I had bought for my mother, so that I could put down a healthy deposit. But at the last minute Nadine said she wasn't ready. I was gutted."

Luckily he hadn't committed cash to the deal - because a genetic condition called hyper-mobility in his left hand led to internal bleeding, forcing him to rest it for over a year.

From banking up to £5,000 a fight, the champ went to claiming job seekers' allowance.

He quivered: "I began to feel really bad, suicidal. The support I used to get from Nadine, I wasn't getting any more. I felt I was trying to keep us together but she wasn't with me any more.

"My hand was so painful I couldn't open a bottle or turn a key. I was rated in the top 20 in Britain and just a few fights away from a British title, then I had to give up."

The couple finally split last September after a series of heated bust-ups. Gary told us: "We had been fighting a lot and I knew, after a particularly bad argument, when Nadine called, she was going to end it.

"She was so cold when we met briefly. She didn't seem upset, she just said we wanted different things. I knew she wanted more than I could give her.

"I was gutted. But I don't think it hit me straight away. We hugged and I left, that was it. But over the next few weeks I started to feel really low.

"I tried to pick myself up but I couldn't. Everything was gone, I'd lost Nadine. I had no money left. But I'm a strong person. I'm not in the ring fighting for no reason.

"I felt deep down I was still strong so I had to fight back - and that's what I've been trying to do ever since the car attack."

And honest Gary blames no one but HIMSELF for the crazed attack. He said: "I have to be the bigger person and admit what I did that night was wrong.

"I'm like every other guy dealing with their emotions. I feel bad putting her through it, I know Nadine and I know she would have been scared that night and before court. She went into court and she told the truth."

Gary revealed he now holds no grudge towards Zander either. He said: "I have no bad feeling towards him, he seems a decent guy. I wish them well because if that's what she's looking for, I'm glad she has found it.

"I still care about her after all this time, I can't cut her off and I know she still cares about me, deep down."

Troubled Gary has fallen foul of the law before, with a 2004 conviction for assault to severe injury and causing permanent disfigurement. He was jailed for 12 months after the attack at a Clydebank nightclub.

The scrapper, who was described as a model prisoner during his time at Greenock jail, has now vowed to put his violent past behind him. He said: "It was an incident when I was a teenager, a stupid scuffle.

"I'd been drinking and I learned from it. I don't think I have a temper, no. I'm a nice guy - I try to be."

Gary has recovered from his hand problems and was a huge hit on Sky TV's March knock-out boxing show, Prize Fighter with an unbeaten run of 11 bouts before losing to Stephen Burke in the semi-final.

But he was forced to pull out of a Commonwealth title fight with Scots boxer Lee McAllister, 27, for a £100,000 prize.

Manager Tommy Gilmour scheduled it for this summer at Clydebank's Playdrome. But Gary - known as the Messiah to his legions of fans - said: "We'd spoken about it and I knew I could have beaten Lee.

"But I lost the pot of gold - Tommy had to cancel it because the court case was coming up and I could get a guilty verdict. Now I need to fight to keep hold of my licence and my career."

He added: "I'm not a bad guy and I regret so much what I did.

"The time will come for me to see Nadine and to say I'm sorry, but that's not now. I know I've let down my fans and I promise I'll make it up to them.

"My problem was a combination of being broken-hearted and knowing I was never good enough for her.

"Nadine liked the glamour and I'm a down-to-earth mummy's boy who's happy staying in Clydebank.

"What I want to do now is to make it up to my fans and to put Clydebank back on the sporting map.

"And I'd like to make a little nest egg to keep my ma comfortable - because she's always been there for me."