"WHEN most bands tell you they're about to play a new song, that's usually means they're about to give you a big bag of dogs***," slurs Ryan Jarman. "Not us."
It's the first night of the Wakefield outfit's tour - their first gig, in fact, in nearly five months - and he has clearly decided to celebrate.
But it means that The Cribs' normally shambolic live form is often in danger of tumbling into chaos.
At one point Ryan struggles to tune not just one but TWO guitars before firing up the freshly-minted We Share The Same Skies. Later in the set he jabs bass-playing twin Gary in the ribs with his guitar.
But it all adds to the fun for the sell-out crowd - which includes Ryan's chart-topping girlfriend Kate Nash - here to catch the indie faves' first full gig north of the border with new recruit, Johnny Marr.

The ex-Smiths star joined them at Barrowland for a few numbers this time last year and, just a few songs in, the crowd are already chanting his name.
But anyone who thought he'd give the Jarman brothers a more sophisticated polish is in for a shock. From the opener, the promising-sounding newie We Were Aborted, through fan favourites like I'm A Realist and Hey Scenesters, his beautifully-crafted riffs are almost inaudible.
There's no chance of catching his backing vocals either...they're turned down too.
So though they're now a four-piece, it's The Cribs as we've always known and loved them, a messy, under-rehearsed but somehow exhilarating affair.
In all, they play five new songs, including Hari Kari, Cheat On Me and Victims Of Mass Production, which suggest that Johnny may have added some pop thrills to the Jarmans' indie thrash.
The biggest singalong of the night, though is Men's Needs, which sees crowd-surfers going wild and various items of flung-off clothing landing all over the place - including on top of Ryan's microphone.
So, here are the new Cribs, same as the old Cribs - just the way we like 'em.
ANDREW CURRIE

MONGREL, King Tut's, Glasgow
REVEREND & The Makers were always an eclectic bunch; their sound a hyperactive rush of styles that might lob a ska groove at you one minute, acid house the next.
So it's no surprise that frontman Jon McClure's new outfit - which tonight stretches to a full EIGHT members, including ex-Arctic Monkeys bassist Andy Nicholson - is just as skittish when it comes to settling on a musical direction.
They open with the reggae-rap collision of Guess Who's Coming Home before settling into Brit hop on Lies and dub on the title cut of their Better Than Heavy LP.
Makers fans may be wondering why a frontman of McClure's talent is content to act as sideman for most of the first half of the set...at one point indie's most charismatic motormouth is reduced to flapping his arms pointlessly.
And just two songs out of a round dozen - the sweet-as-sugar Julian and Barcode, a kissing cousin to Reverend live fave The Machine - opt for terrain familiar to anyone who loved Heavyweight Champion.
In fact the set's highlight comes when the musicians down tools and Lowkey spits a series of tongue- twisting alphabet rhymes.
And even the stonking version of new single Hit From The Morning Sun that closes the show isn't enough to stop us from feeling the Rev must have been barking to ditch the dog collar for this.
TIM BARR

CASSIDY, Oran Mor, Glasgow
THE throng of excitable young ladies at the front of the stage give a clue what to expect - four young bucks with acoustic guitars, seemingly popped from the same Californian Love God mould as Jim Morrison.
They open with Chain Gang and the sweet, sunny melodies and supertight harmonies soon hook everyone in.
There are nods towards Crosby, Stills & Nash but the beautiful I've Seen The World is reminiscent of current sweethearts Fleet Foxes.
There are a few lyrical clangers but it's clear there's been some poetry and weighty tomes read - and no doubt some hearts broken too. It's mightily impressive stuff.
CLAIRE McKAY
KING JAPAN, Pivo Pivo, Glasgow
THE latest recruits to new music night Under The Paving Stones kick off their short, sharp set with the melodic I Don't Know before cranking up the psychedelic, Lynyrd Skynyrd-esque blues of Over And Over.
Frontman James McGhie leads the four-piece through a varied set that charts a course between Kings Of Leon (One Last Goodbye) and The Pixies. The standouts - including the raucous Rage and Angeline's sizzling call-and-response guitar duel between James and bandmate Garry McFadden - suggest they could be something special.
GRAHAM McKENDRY
This article has 0 comments