'Watch the cheek and help your dad'

BRAVE mum Jo Dearing beams proudly as she poses for this touching family portrait surrounded by her EIGHT loving children - knowing ferocious terminal cancer could snatch her from them at any moment.

But this isn't just a moving memento of happier times for the Dearing kids. It's a remarkable roadmap for the future from their doting mum - complete with a candid character reading and wise words of advice to see them through after she's gone for EVERY ONE of them, from one-year-old Lucie right up to 22-year-old Aaron.

And behind all those smiles runs a deep vein of anguish. For Jo, 42, has just broken the heart-rending news that she is dying, after aggressive breast cancer spread to her spine and then her lung.

Sharing the emotional story of how she copes raising a family, knowing every time she turns off the light at night it could be her last, Jo told us:

"I look at the picture and worry about the children. I'm lucky because I've had years of happiness with the older ones but the younger ones will grow up without really remembering me.

"The doctors have told me I'm dying but can't say when - only that it could be days, weeks, months or years.

"It makes me sad to look at the children's faces and know I'll never see them all grow up, get married or have my grandkids. That's why each day I have with them now is so special."

Worry

And with 29-year-old husband Robin - father of her four youngest - at her side, Jo seized the moment to give them all a steer on life.

First in line was AARON, the eldest. Jo said: "He works at a haulage company but not driving trucks around. That would require him getting his hands dirty! He's a very quiet and studious boy and a bit of a deep thinker. He took the news that I'm dying well, but I worry about what he'll be like after I'm gone. I don't think it will hit him until then."

MUM'S ADVICE: "Keep working hard at your job and saving your money for the future."

Then there's KATHERINE, 17. "She's a really hard-working girl and has a job at Waitrose," said Joe. "She helps us as well because we have a sandwich shop and a business cleaning holiday homes. She's great with the little ones and they always make a fuss of her. I know she'll be a big help when the time comes."

MUM'S ADVICE: "Take it easy in your new car because you've only just passed your test. And stay away from boys - the bad kind anyway!"

Next came twins BEN and THOMAS. "They're lovely boys, and addicted to sport," said. "Football, rugby, cricket, tennis, golf - if it has a ball involved they'll have a go. They're good-looking lads and popular. I hope they go to university and become something like PE teachers. I'd be so proud.

"They've an eye for the girls, too, and are always playing Cheryl Cole's video at full blast!"

MUM'S ADVICE: "Ben, keep working hard at school and you'll get to university and become a teacher like you want. And Thomas, knuckle down like your brother and you'll get there with him!"

Son JOSHUA, eight, is slightly autistic but with an amazing memory for subjects that interest him. "And he's really into science," said Jo. "He struggles to read and doesn't know his address but can name all the dinosaurs and talk about the planets non-stop!"

MUM'S ADVICE: "Try your hardest at school and do your best. I know it's tough."

Six-year-old HARRIET, Harri for short, was next. "She's a very bright girl, always reading and writing stories," said Jo. "She loves dancing too, and likes to make a fuss of her little sisters. But she's just started to be a little bit saucy so needs to beware."

MUM'S ADVICE: "Watch that cheek my love - and be good and help your dad."

Then there's three-year-old ELLIE. "She's so cute and a real sweetie," said Jo. "She's just started asking to read so I've bought her some beginner books and we've been doing that."

MUM'S ADVICE: "You're a lovely little girl so stop spoiling yourself with the tantrums."

Baby of the family is little LUCIE, just one. "She's just started walking so won't sit still for long, as you can see on the photo!" said Jo. "She loves all her brothers and sisters and can eat for England. I don't know where she puts it all."

MUM'S ADVICE: "Listen to your big sisters and your dad. They're there to take care of you."

Every night Jo goes to bed at home in Wickham Market, Suffolk, wondering if she'll see another day. And when she wakes to the sounds of laughing kids and music blaring at full volume a broad smile spreads across her face. She has staved off the inevitable for at least one more day.

"The children have taken it all remarkably well," she said. "In fact too well, because they still leave the house a mess! Sometimes I think, 'Hey, I've got cancer here. Can't someone give me a hand and do some tidying?' But I should be glad they've taken it in their stride.

"And it's a real comfort to know they're in safe hands with my husband Robin. He's brilliant round the house and in the kitchen - now that I've trained him! Before he couldn't even turn the washer on, never mind separate out the colours and the whites. And he's well versed about where the kids' clothes go in their drawers. Pants on the left, socks on the right!

"He couldn't boil an egg when we met but now the kids say he's a better cook than me. He does a lovely roast every Sunday. It's important that this carries on so the kids can all sit round together having a laugh and a moan about their week."

Jo recalled how she was first diagnosed with breast cancer in February last year after discovering a lump when she was 17 weeks' pregnant with Lucie.

"I dropped a chocolate button down my top and I was fishing it out when I found the lump," she recalled.

After a mammogram and biopsy, doctors broke the devastating news it was breast cancer. An op removed the lump but three weeks later she discovered two more. "The doctors told me it was a very aggressive cancer and my baby would need to be induced early so I could start chemotherapy," said Jo.

Despite everything, Lucie weighed in at a healthy 5Ib 11oz. "It was so emotional," added Jo. "I had a newborn baby in my arms and I knew I had to get through it for her. It gave me the inspiration to fight even harder."

After the chemo finished in August last year Jo had a mastectomy op followed by radiotherapy.

But in January, just a month after her treatment finished, she started getting pains in her back.

Precious

Eventually a scan revealed a tumour in Jo's spine. "That was devastating," admitted Jo. "I thought the cancer had gone and I could get on with my life. I never imagined it would come back so quickly like this.

"I had surgery in July to remove the tumour from my spine not knowing if I'd be able to walk again. Luckily I was back on my feet in five days.

But then the doctors told me the cancer was terminal. Scans have also shown a shadow on my lung.

"The real hammer blow was when they finally told me there was nothing else that could be done. Up until that point I was determined to fight it but now all I can do is make good use of the time I've got left. Every precious second counts.

"Robin is a wonderful husband and father and will have to be both parents when I'm gone. I know he's worried about how he'll cope but there will be family and friends to help him.

"He'll have to learn how to multi-task like a woman!

"It is difficult for me to accept that I won't be around but I've made a will and sorted out financial things so there'll be no messiness after I've died.

"What I want for the children is what every mum wants for their kids - to see them grow into wonderful people with good jobs, nice homes and children of their own.

"The difference for me is I won't be there to see it. But with Robin around I can die knowing it WILL happen.

"And I've told him not to be on his own for the rest of his life, not to worry what I would have thought if he meets someone else."

But with typical gritty humour. Jo added: "He says he's not bothered though. . . as I've put him off women for life with all these kids!"

This article has 15 comments