Top 10 mucciest divorces

When celeb marriages hit the rocks the motto is simple. Don't get mad... get EVERYTHING.

As Madonna and Guy Ritchie head for the divorce courts - with Madge reported to face losing up to £150 MILLION to her film director husband of seven years - we take a look back at some of the biggest break-ups in showbiz.

And if this list is anything to go by Ritchie need never work again. Which some might say is proof that every cloud has a silver lining.

10: Chris & Ingrid Tarrant

In 1999

Met: On the set of TV-am in the 1980s

Married: 1991

Split: 2007 - after we revealed Chris had been having an extra-curricular affair with a primary school teacher for seven years

Payout: Ingrid is reported to have settled for £12.5m - including £6m in property and £5.5m in cash

She said: "It's like going through a bereavement. You can't resurrect the dead and you can't resurrect a dead relationship. I can't even bear his voice."

He said: "Well, I was a naughty boy... She wouldn't trust me with a pint of milk."

Now: In a recent interview, Chris said: "Life's a bit complicated. But things are getting back to some semblance of normality."

9: Kim Basinger & Alec Baldwin

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Married: 1993, two years after playing lovers in hit The Marrying Man

Split: 2002 - with the 9 1/2 Weeks star citing irreconcilable differences... a classic Hollywood ruse to keep dirty secrets secret

Payout: Drawn-out and bitter child custody proceedings between the once golden couple have so far cost Alec more than $1m

He said: "She's a rude, thoughtless little pig" - to his daughter Ireland in a voicemail leaked after she failed to answer an arranged phone call.

She said: "Everybody is always asking why this custody battle has been going on for so many years and now they have the answer. It is about his ongoing aggressive behaviour."

Now: Baldwin is writing a book about divorce and child custody. Kim is "continuing to protect and safeguard her child's well-being as any parent would." The battle rumbles on with occasional potshots appearing in the US press.

8: Michael & Juanita Jordan

1999

Married: 1989, in Las Vegas, five years after a blind date

Split: Bank clerk Juanita filed for divorce in 2002 citing irreconcilable differences but withdrew the claim a month later. Four years later the differences were still irreconcilable, and the couple formally split.

Payout: Juanita picked up $168m (more than £100m) - the biggest celebrity divorce payout in history - including a seven-acre estate in Chicago and custody of their three children

He said: "She's worth every penny." Cool.

Now: The basketball legend has been seen out partying with a flurry of different young fillies while Juanita is said to be dating a banker 20 years her junior.

7: Britney Spears & Kevin Federline:

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Married: 2004, three months after the pop phenomenum met the pizza delivery boy - in front of 30 close friends in the back garden of K-Fed's California home.

Split: 2007. Brit agreed to give Kev $1 million but quarrels over custody have been a 12-month soap-opera of court hearings and breakdowns played out for the 24-hour showbiz media.

Payout: $1m - thanks to a pre-nup

He said: "Together we'll take over the world..." then this happened:

She said: Yr dmpd.

Now: Brit's back looking fab with her first Number 1 since 1999's Baby One More Time. And we revealed earlier this month that the couple are back in touch - trading steamy texts.

6: Harrison Ford and Melissa Mathison

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Married: 1983 after meeting on the set of Apocalypse Now.

Split: 2004, after the Indiana Jones star was spotted out on the town with Ally McBeal's Calista Flockhart. Cue front-page frenzy.

Payout: E.T-screenwriter Melissa walked away with $85m (about £50m) plus a cut from all future DVD sales of movies Ford starred in during their 17 years together - including the Indy trilogy.

He said: "I'm probably a better actor than I am a father or husband."

Now: Ford became engaged to Calista on April Fool's Day last year. Melissa has just bought a $2.9 million apartment on Central Park West, a few blocks from the $16m duplex they once shared

5: Mick Jagger & Jerry Hall

1988

Married: In a beach ceremony in Indonesia in 1990, after ten years and several children together

Split: 1999, after serial womiser Mick's Brazilian lover revealed she had given birth to his baby

Payout: Around £10m - reduced after Mick claimed the beach marriage wasn't legally binding

He said: "You wake up in the morning and you look at your old spoon, and you say to yourself, 'Mick, it's time to get yourself a new spoon.' And you do."

She said: "I'd come home and there'd be things from other girls lying around. And then I'd started finding items next to the bed like earrings or a ring. It was obvious."

Now: Jagger has been dating model L'Wren Scott for six years. Jerry is working on a tell-all book, due out soon - and judging by the £1m advance, it's gonna be a riot.

4. Roman & Irima Abramovich

2007

Married: 1991, after meeting on the Aeroflot jet where Irina was a trolley-dolley

Split: In 2006, after we revealed Roman's relationship with 26-year-old brunette Daria Zhukova

He said: Nothing

She said: Even less

Payout: Payout in secretive Russian courts rumoured to have been $300m (£150m) - including houses in Britain and Moscow, a yacht and an aircraft.

3: Charlie Sheen & Denise Richards

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Married: 2002, after meeting on the set of Good Advice... oh the irony.

Split: 2006. Richards ditched the "irreconcilable differences" smokescreen and wrote on the divorce papers that her husband was abusive and addicted to porn and prostitutes.

Payout: Bitter custody battle still rattling through the courts

He said: In email -"You are a pig. A sad, jobless pig who is sad and talentless and, um, oh yeah, sad and jobless and evil and a bad mom, so go xxxx yourself, sad, jobless pig."

She said: "I sent Charlie a text message asking him if he's going to Family Day [for daughter Sam's school] and letting him know Sam was sick with a cold. His response was, 'I hope you and your worthless retarded father get cancer and join your stupid mom. Rot in hell you xxxxing whore.' My mom died of cancer. This is what I deal with on a weekly basis."

Now: Sheen has remarried but the pair continue to bitch in public over custody - Richards airing her views on a reality TV show.

2: Charles & Diana

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Married: 1981, four years after they first met at Althorp while Charles was being linked to her elder sister

Split: 1996 - as it emerged that behind-the-scenes the fairytale marriage was in ruins

Payout: Diana was given £17 million - along with a gagging order banning her from ever going public about the tempestuous marriage

He said: "Whatever 'in love' means."

She said: "There were three of us in this marriage, so it was a bit crowded."

Now: Charles married the third party, Camilla Parker-Bowles in 2005. Diana died in a car accident in Paris in 1997.

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1: Paul McCartney & Heather Mills

Married: 2002, in a lavish ceremony in Ireland three years after meeting during the Pride of Britain Awards event in London

Split: 2006 - amid claim and counter-claim with Heather's "friends" accusing Paul of being a wife battered and Paul's "pals" hitting back accusing Heather of a past career in porn. In the run-up to the judgement Heather gave a string of tearful TV interviews comparing herself to Princess Diana and Kate McCann

Payout: Heather walked away with £24.3 million - a fraction of the £125m she had originally demanded - after the judge branded her a liar and fantasist

He said: "There'll be no more nagging, no more chaos, no more Heather...bliss. I have peace at last."

She said: "I'm going to be crucified. I'm going to have a modern-day stoning."

Now: Heather has awarded the Certificate of Congressional Merit after her charity donated $1m to promote meat-free healthy living in New York. Paul honoured a long-standing engagement to play a concert in Tel Aviv. You can't help thinking Israel and Palestine will sort out their differences before these two.

SLIDESHOW: The 10 Mucciest Divorces

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