Broadmoor's Got Talent

LADIES and gentleman, our next act is gonna knock you dead....

Er, at least he will if he gets hold of a blunt instrument.

Today we ask what the Ant and Dec's going on at Broadmoor high security hospital where the country's most dangerous inmates are to be ALLOWED to stage their own version of BRITAIN'S GOT TALENT.

Monsters like Yorkshire Ripper Peter Sutcliffe have been invited to take part in the spoof show, advertised on a flyer leaked to the News of the World. "It's going to be madness on the night," an insider told us.

"Try telling a hammer killer he's rubbish and to get off the stage. I don't think even Simon Cowell would have the guts to do that!"

The posters-pinned up in the hospital's wards-carry the logo Broadmoor's Got Talent! superimposed on a Union Jack-just like the TV show.

"Show us your skills and talents," it says-but hopefully not the ones that got them where they are today.

Instead psychos like Stockwell Strangler Kenneth Erskine will be able to have a go at MURDERING popular songs, trying to be FUNNY-or following in the footsteps of Britain's Got Talent winner George Sampson-only in this case probably with some JAIL-BREAK DANCING.

Participants also have to agree to a list of rules just to ensure the show doesn't get out of hand. "No arguing with the judges! The judges' decision is final," says one, in the hope of avoiding a bloodbath.

There's even a no-swearing rule, as if that's going to be the worst case scenario should a mass-murdering juggler take umbrage at being voted out.

Finally, the poster adds that if a contestant's performance is CRIMINALLY bad three buzzers will be sounded signalling him to stop. If he doesn't, the audience is highly likely to go mad.

Last night Broadmoor spokesman Mark Purcell confirmed: "A talent competition for patients called Broadmoor's Got Talent is being arranged.

"One of the risks for people with mental illnesses is that they go into themselves and do not mix with people. This competition is a way of getting them to go out and meet people." Inmates at the hospital in Berkshire are no strangers to lavish entertainment. Last year, Broadmoor bosses threw a party for inmates to pacify them before the smoking ban.

Thousands of pounds of taxpayers' money were spent on a "Wellness Day" where the 260 patients enjoyed a slap-up barbecue with a steel band.

Broadmoor's most notorious inmate is Sutcliffe, who butchered 13 women and was given 20 life sentences in 1981.

Stockwell Strangler Erskine, 44, was found guilty in 1988 of killing seven OAPs.

Other acts who could be on the bill are Robert Napper, 41, waiting to be tried for the 1992 Wimbledon Common murder of young mum Rachel Nickell.

And child sex killer James Kay, 41-convicted of the manslaughter of 12-year-old Susan Young near Wigan in 1971-is also caged there.