Jack Tweed's mum reveals rape charge and suicide torment
'Worst thing a mother can hear is her son say I wants to end his life'
THE distraught mum of rape charge widower Jack Tweed told yesterday of her torment at seeing her "baby" in prison and hearing him threaten to take his own life.
In an exclusive interview with the News of the World Mary Tweed, 53, poured out her heartache and fears for her troubled son, who is in jail awaiting trial on a rape charge.
Jack, widower of tragic cancer victim Jade Goody was accused by a girl after returning to his bachelor flat from a night out.
Looking strained and tearful Mary told us: "The first time I saw Jack in Pentonville was the worst. I went with his brother Lewis and sister Laura and we were allowed a two-hour visit in private - but it was horrible. Really, really horrendous.
"Jack was a shambles. He hadn't washed in days, he looked grubby and grimy and there was dirt round his neck.
"But it was his mental state that was even more shocking to me. As soon as he saw me he broke down in tears and told me straight out that he wanted to kill himself.
"He asked me to take flowers to Jade's grave and just kept repeating that he didn't want to carry on living.
"The absolutely worst thing a mother can hear is her son say he wants to end his life.
"There was a lot of crying and a lot of silences during that two hours. We just didn't know what to say. What can you say? We were all devastated. We all broke down together. We were all in floods of tears.
"The whole time, Jack just sat there looking down, fiddling non-stop with his prison badge while I had my arms round him. It really was the most stressful thing I've ever been through.
"When I did try to speak to him, he was virtually monosyllabic. I asked him how he was and he just shrugged. He said he was shut in a cell 23 hours a day and that he'd killed six cockroaches in there that day.
"Then when our time was up they came to take him away. And, as a mum, that's really horrible - because he's still my baby, my son. I was left feeling so helpless, as if I'd lost all control. And that's the most terrible thing. Because I've always been so fiercely protective of my children.
"When Jack was a little boy, I never even allowed him to play out on the street. I wouldn't even let the wind blow on him.
"And I was so frightened because I'd never seen Jack like that before, so completely devastated and distraught.
"The fact that Jade is dead and he's still struggling to come to terms with it made me even more concerned that he really might try to take his own life."
Mary spoke out after the News of the World obtained the first exclusive pictures of Jack behind bars. She was so worried that she told the prison governor about 22-year-old Jack's threats and now guards check on him every 15 minutes.
Jack's lawyer Phil Smith, from Tuckers Solicitors, insists his client vehemently denies the rape allegation. And Mary has absolutely no doubt that her son is innocent.
But she remains deeply worried about him, especially after he moved away from the family semi at Buckhurst Hill, Essex, to a rented property on the nearby Repton Park estate in Woodford Green.
"Jack is definitely grieving," she insisted. "The thing is, like any boy his age, he liked a drink and went to clubs. But he wasn't drinking every day. I believe a lot of it has been exaggerated. But I did speak to him about it."
Mary added: "On my last visit on Friday I gave Jack a picture of him and Jade together so at least he has that in his cell.
"But he was still distracted and withdrawn most of the time. He just sits there fiddling with his hands. He's a real mess. His eyes are sunken and I'm as worried as ever about him.
"But what really haunts me is that when I get up to go, he just looks to the floor. All the other prisoners are waving at their visitors to the end but when I turn round for one last look, Jack's just standing there, eyes still to the floor. That really upsets me."
Mary admits Jack's lifestyle since he moved to Woodford Greene has caused her concern but she blames some of his newer friends and the girls who hang around him.
"Jack has a handful of good friends," she explained. "But at Repton Park there were a lot of hangers-on turning up who wanted to party all the time and led him astray.
"I can't say my son's an angel. But the trouble with Jack is he's too trusting, and this is where he's come undone.
"I've warned him about women, too - to be careful. I tell him, 'You know what some of these girls are like.' And they follow him everywhere. When he was at home with us, he couldn't sleep properly because he was grieving for Jade. He'd sleep half the day, go for a bit of lunch with his friends, and then he'd be home again. He'd only be out for a couple of hours.
"And he certainly never brought any girls back. No, no, I don't allow that. Never. I won't have it.
"And the last thing he'd said to me before he was arrested was that he wanted to move out of his place and find somewhere 'more homely'.
"He told me, 'I've had enough.' He said there were too many people coming in and out and he really didn't want that."
But any hopes of a new life for Jack were dashed a few days later when Mary picked up the phone to hear his voice asking flatly: "Mum, can you get me a solicitor?"
She recalled: "It was first thing in the morning and it confused me. I asked him, 'Why? What do you mean?' To which he replied, 'Some girl's said that I've raped her.' He just sounded totally in shock and I can remember saying, 'Oh Jack, are you all right?' then him just repeating blankly, 'Mum, just get me a solicitor.' Then his voice started to crack.
"When I put the phone down I just started running round my bedroom like an idiot. I just didn't know what to do. I was completely in pieces. My husband was at work so I rang a couple of friends but they could barely understand what I was saying.
"Bizarrely, my reaction was to go into complete overdrive. I started worrying about stupid things like putting up wardrobes.
"I went on in that vein for the next couple of days until on the Monday morning I woke up and had just lost the plot completely."
It was a huge shock for an ordinary suburban mum, happily married for 26 years and proud of her family.
Her face suddenly crumbling and tears rolling down her cheeks, Mary explained: "I couldn't control myself. I was rubbing my legs and stuff. I felt like I was a nutcase. And I just couldn't stop crying.
"My children started panicking so I phoned a friend who took me straight to the doctors and they gave me Valium. I've never had anything like that in my life."
Now Mary finds herself in a recurring real-life nightmare.
"The mornings are particularly bad," she said. "I wake up and the realisation of it all immediately hits me. It starts from my stomach and comes up and up and up.
"I start having panic attacks. I can't speak, my mouth is dry, my legs go and I just don't know what to do with myself. Then I take some Valium and it calms everything down again. But I'm trying to come off that and not rely on it.
"Jack's always in my thoughts though, and I worry about him every second of the day. Even when I wake up in the middle of the night, it's Jack. He's all I can think about - where he is and what he must be feeling."
"Jack's coming home to me," she insisted. "And HE wants that too. He really needs to be at home for a while.
"I've always been what he calls 'a bit busy' in his life. But I'm his mum and he needs me more than ever now."
