Vice girls work above Labour office

WHAT'S the difference between a blonde brothel madam and an expenses-sponging MP in drag?

One is a member of the most reviled group of individuals in Britain and an embarrassment to decent people . . .

And the other is probably quite miffed that her vice girls have to work in a brothel above somewhere as shameful as a LABOUR PARTY OFFICE.

We uncovered the bizarre Lab-Lust alliance in the constituency of MP Bob Marshall- Andrews QC.

He's a man who, as our picture shows, once dressed up in a blonde wig, tight dress and high heels for a charity bash.

Knockers

Little does he know it, but as he faces his knockers at surgeries down below over his £180,000 expenses claims, there lurks in the flat above another portly blonde in a dress running her own knocking shop.

And strangely enough the false-boobed MP in drag and the brassy brothel madam look so alike they could be twins.

Angry locals who turn up at the Labour offices in Maidstone Road, Rochester, Kent - aiming to ask Marshall-Andrews, 65, why he claimed for a second home despite living 10 miles from Westminster - will be in for a shock if they take the wrong entrance to the building.

They'll end up in a dimly lit vice den in the flat above.

But, just like visitors to the Labour office below, they'll find themselves peppered by statistics.

"We have two lovely girls here sir, both very busty," the madam informed our reporter in the bedroom.

"Honey is 23, 5ft 6inches, with long platinum blonde hair and blue eyes. A 32EE on a size eight figure. That's BIG.

"The other young lady is Samantha. She is 25, size seven, with baby blonde hair and blue eyes.

"She's a 34 DD on a size 10 figure. Do you want prices?"

Chancellor Alistair Darling would approve of the brothel's credit-crunch cost-cutting.

For £50 you get half an hour with one girl and it's only £20 more with the other hooker thrown in!

Our man chose Honey and she entered the bedroom in Labour-pleasing red bra and knickers.

Her underwear hit the floor faster than Gordon Brown's popularity ratings and she began cavorting around, pushing out fake boobs that cost her £6,000.

Tiny

"I've got this thing about t**s," she said. And she wasn't talking about the Commons.

Marshall-Andrews, an outspoken critic of the Prime Minister, is unaware of the activities in flat 73b. When we confronted local Labour chairman Bob Wade about his party's neighbours, he said: "It's news to us. We are trying to work out what the way forward is.

"I believe Labour Party Properties owned the whole building then sold the flat so it's out of our control."

Meanwhile Marshall-Andrews - who has a tiny majority - and the hookers are both desperate to defend their line of work and keep in employment.

Honey - keen to land her hesitant client - insisted: "I love my job. I just love what I do."

Sadly for her our man voted with his feet . . . he made his excuses and left.

• For Your Thighs Only!
• M'LUDDY DISGRACE
• I've made £300k as a hooker
• Sleazy jet bust
• Judge Gerald Price QC ruled on vice cases but paid for sex in secret
• I went from convent girl to hooker
• Betrayed for £1000
• I couldn't pay and had to strip

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