My ex-husband did not like me very much. He preferred the guys in the pub, so he would stay there all week-end ( even though we had only been married 1 year ), He would tell me no one liked me and he only married me because my brothers would have battered him if he did not.
After three and half years, 'the girlies' floated by, as if he was single.
I was married to a batchelor, he did not like giving me money from his wages to help pay the bills.
I left him after 17.5 years
I have lived on my own for 19 years. It is very lonely taking the moral high ground.
I have a nice little flat, and watch my television.
It takes real guts to realise that you deserve better treatment than you are getting

By val. Posted July 13 2009 at 2:47 PM.

Well done Gillian....please let us not here about you giving him "another chance" in a few weeks time!

You are a wonderful actress and a very attractive woman!

By Al. Posted June 8 2009 at 4:44 PM.

I was in an abusive relationship for many years and kept giving him second chances, only for him to do it again. Ive been living on my own, with my children, now for many years. I dont want another partner at the moment as my life is too busy with work and daughters. The only thing I have noticed is that I have changed as a person. i.e become much tougher (not always a good thing) but I think its the built up anger in myself for not getting away from him sooner, and letting him get away with it.

He is now a lonely drunk with no friends. What goes around comes around!

By DIANE. Posted June 8 2009 at 2:48 PM.

Took me 4 years to see that i was worth better than the treatment i got at home and that was 4 years ago. Still if i have a conversation about it, i find myself defending my ex and still i sometimes feel like i deserved what i got. It takes a long time to work everything out in your own head, to understand that you are worth alot more - but seeing the problem and leaving is the first step so good for you Gillian - just make sure that the split is permanent!

By Alison. Posted June 8 2009 at 12:01 PM.

I just separated from an abusive boss and have experienced so much of what I read above. There gas beeb verbal abuse, insults, constant attempts to sabotage and humiliate me over this last year and one half which have driven me to the point of a breakdown. The consequences of leaving him felt dire as my husband is unemployed and my resume showed an unstable work history. I had joined him to avoid another layoff (due to outsoucing) and my lady boss had warned me to stay on, that she had been married to such a type and it would only bring grief. But I was drawn by his high intelligence and apparent charm. Anyway, I start my new job tomorrow. I was moved when during my interview last week my new boss spoke to me so kindly and patiently. I hope it works out.

By jena. Posted June 8 2009 at 1:17 AM.

Those of you that left negative comments about Gill,
dont know what it is like being with someone that constantly tells u that u will never get anyone else, her confidence was so low, because she is in the limelight people judge her, well try looking at urselves and see if u have the perfect partner.

By kay. Posted June 8 2009 at 12:47 AM.

I've never really understood the saying "girls like a bad boy". As far as I'm concerned, he can turn his "badness" on you as quickly as he turns it on other people.

The second a man acts violently towards his partner or a woman does the same to hers, its time to go.

If you stay with him or her, the abuse will only get worse. There is no incentive for the abusive partner to change.

Whether it starts with cruel words, putdowns, a shove, a slap, a punch. Whatever. That is a sign of things to come and the aggression will only increase.

If you can punch back, fine. Then leave. If you can't that's fine too. Then leave.

If you stay ... you've had it!

By Mo. Posted June 7 2009 at 10:12 PM.

If she really was a strong woman she would have left him ages ago. I left mine after 7 years (but 2 living together in hell) because I knew that despite the put downs, the mental torture and the physical violence that he was wrong, that I was better than him and that it was totally wrong to stay with him. This kept me going and gave me the strength to leave. She is financially stable so there isn't the excuse that other women have. TO OTHER PEOPLE IN THIS SITUATION GET OUT ASAP!

By sezo. Posted June 7 2009 at 8:16 PM.

Hey Gillian, if you need a lift too & from Ascot I am available.

By Billy Joe. Posted June 7 2009 at 7:51 PM.

my blood is boiling as i read sum of these negative comments, being in an abusive relationship is not as easy as sum of u may think, took me two years 2 walk away, so long 4 the fact that i was more scared of what would happen wen i did walk, so gillian be strong ull get through it and all u people who posted negative comments i hope to god u find urself in an abusive relationship then we'll c....

By lulu. Posted June 7 2009 at 7:18 PM.

You are best out of it girl, a leopard doesnt change their spots, no matter how many times they say sorry. Domestic violence shouldnt happen at all, once is enough, at least you have finally walked away, just stay away now.

By Eternal12. Posted June 7 2009 at 6:32 PM.

I bet any negative comments already made are from people who are fortunate not to have been in this terrible situation. I experienced this for 7 years, the lunatic I was with was living in my house, my kids had to go to school, I had nowhere to run. At the time the police were no help even though I tried to get him arrested twice, ultimately it made him 10 times worse, so good luck Gillian, stick to your guns, its an awful time but you will get there.

Lynne
Bournemouth

By Lynne Sorge. Posted June 7 2009 at 4:37 PM.

She'll be back within a fortnight saying what a mistake it was and she'd provoked him. Then they will do a magazine artical about how they've turned their lives around and were still so much in love. Wait for it mark my words.

By goldie 206. Posted June 7 2009 at 4:21 PM.

I too was in an abusive relationship but got out much sooner than Gillian. It has taken many years to get where I am today, but I am so proud of my achievements and that I have got financial security and did it off my own back.Although my child had regular contact with his father,now he is of an age where he made his own decision and stopped seeing his father two years ago. Children grow into young adults and realise what is what. He is so happy and doing incredibly well, and it was the best days work I did, throwing his nasty father out. I do feel for Gill. but she really must stick to her guns this time, as he dosen't love her, he has no idea what that is even for his kids. If he did he wouldn't hit their mother or disrespect them and her like he has many times. I am suprised he hasn't killed her by now.

By Been there got the t shirt. Posted June 7 2009 at 3:59 PM.

We have not heard the other side of the story.There's no condoning violence but the press reports at present appear to be very one sided. There are 2 children involved in this and it's not nice for them to see the villification of their father, who, although, appears to have faults in being unable to control his temper and emotions, appears to be a very dedicated Dad. It appears that he has only ever physically pushed Ms. Taylforth once, not condoning his violent reactions when he loses his control, but there are no reports of consistant 'wife beating' as such, and I'm sure, from what I've read (including by revered, now passed away, columnist, Linda Lee Potter that ms. taylforth can give as good as she gets in an argument. This relationship has been fraught with ups and downs since the beginning, according to the press.. it seems they've stayed together for the sake of the kids .. however, it's not good for their kids to see their parents feuding like this, these two are not good for eachother .. better off apart .. although no doubt they'll be umpteen 'articles' now as the PR team get their wheels in motion .. who cares about other peoples private lives?! .. let them get on with it in peace !.. it's none of our business! I hope they stay apart and stay out of the papers.. it's their drama.. not ours!

By Independent Woman. Posted June 7 2009 at 3:31 PM.

SMASHED her skull and needed THREE stitches.LOL. I don't know who is the more stupid of the two,her for putting up with him or vicky verky.

By mrs_spratt. Posted June 7 2009 at 3:11 PM.

for all those ignorant people with negative comments about gillian, please take along hard look at yourselves! you have no idea what its like being in her shoes! she is the nicest sweetest person you could wish to meet, i know that for a fact! yes she should have left him years ago, she will realise that when she is finally happy and has peace and tranquillity in her life, believe me she deserves happiness! so stop hating and be kind, she has been through enough..

By anon. Posted June 7 2009 at 2:45 PM.

Good for you Gillian! You deserve better than a violent scum like him who undermines you, ridicules you and treats you like a doormat. Life is too short and too precious to waste it on losers like him! Now you can face the future head on and move on with your life, good luck!

By Nathalie H. Posted June 7 2009 at 2:43 PM.

good luck for the future gillian, you did the right thing dumping this violent thug there will be someone out there that will look after you and love you, you deserve better.

By maggie. Posted June 7 2009 at 2:34 PM.

How can some of these comments condone violence to women. No matter what the circumstances may or may not have been, violating a woman physically is nothing but a sign of cowardice in a man. Keep strong Gillian and get your life back without him.

By Annie. Posted June 7 2009 at 2:05 PM.

Is she going to pay back all the money paid by magazines for interviews they gave in which she said she was happy with him.
Another one looking for cash.

By julie. Posted June 7 2009 at 2:01 PM.

you go girl and never look back! your fab enjoyrd your acting,enjoyed your personailty on loose woman ! you go and enjoy your life and love yourself .

By ANGIE. Posted June 7 2009 at 2:01 PM.

Finally, after all these years she has decided to dump him, good on you Gillian, keep strong love!!

By Laura. Posted June 7 2009 at 1:44 PM.

Yay, congratulatons Gillian!!! Good luck for the future - nobody needs that kind of relationship and well done for being so strong.

By MallyMon. Posted June 7 2009 at 1:21 PM.

Well done love. You've done the right thing. I've been there too and it's hard to get away. Good for you hun. Look after yourself. x

By TeeBee. Posted June 7 2009 at 1:09 PM.

Natalie, I was once in an abusive relationship but found the strength to leave...You can too!

By Sam. Posted June 7 2009 at 12:43 PM.

she deserved it, she is ugly and a waster.

By G Night. Posted June 7 2009 at 12:38 PM.

She makes the decision to go back to him, it's true it is not as though she needs him for financial support, she should look at her life and the achievements she has made and try and build back her self-esteem it's hard but she'll get there, I am sure she has a massive support network.

By Ally. Posted June 7 2009 at 12:38 PM.

What was wrong with her staying with him all those years?

By Liz. Posted June 7 2009 at 12:22 PM.

Once a mouthy so and so,always a mouthy so and so.

& HE's no better either
















.

By mrs_spratt@yahoo.com. Posted June 7 2009 at 12:21 PM.

i know how hard it is to walk away! i was in a situation like this and all of you who are attacking her do not understand but it is so hard you lose all sense of who you are and i don't know how it happened but he reeled me in until i lost sight of who i was! the hardest part was walking away. please gillian now you have taken the first step keep looking forward and never look back. YOU KNOW WHAT YOU WOULD BE GOING BACK TO!!!!!
the future is frightening but it gets easier. believe me!!!!!!!!

By jamie. Posted June 7 2009 at 12:14 PM.

Nadia that is a very ignorant post you have written. Do you believe that if you live your life in the limelight you suddenly have special powers that allow you to life your life perfectly? Limelight or not, everyone is HUMAN and no one is perfect. Domestic abuse is a very complex issue and the "just walk away" attitude does not help at all. If all it took was to walk away, then domestic abuse would be wiped out by now. It saddens me that after 23 years of taking crap from this loser and finally being able to leave him, this woman will still have to face being judged by everyone. He did the abusing, so he should be judged and punished, not her. It is the abuser (man or woman) who should pay the price and feel shame and humiliation, not the victim.

By Mary. Posted June 7 2009 at 12:12 PM.

keep strong, never look back

By pikey_girl. Posted June 7 2009 at 11:39 AM.

I have no respect for women in the limelight who could dump their abusive partners at any time - after all they have money and could easily divorce and look after the children comfortably but what do these women do???? the likes of Leslie Ash and Gillian Taylforth are not brave; they are cowards who voluntarily put up with that crap (to keep hubby happy) and defend their husbands disgusting actions. !!!!!! What example are you numpties setting for the poor women who simply have very little option but to grin and bear it - you are successful and it's taken you 23 years to dump him??? Brave NOT but marginally more intelligent than Leslie Ash!!!

By Nadia Dawson. Posted June 7 2009 at 11:11 AM.

I must be missing something, how come he has all these offences and attacks to his name but is not serving a long prison sentance?!

By Tiffany. Posted June 7 2009 at 11:19 AM.

Men like that aint worth it your better off wit out that

By Jane. Posted June 7 2009 at 11:03 AM.

I have no respect for women in the limelight who could dump their abusive partners at any time - after all they have money and could easily divorce and look after the children comfortably but what do these women do???? the likes of Leslie Ash and Gillian Taylforth are not brave; they are cowards who voluntarily put up with that crap (to keep hubby happy) and defend their husbands disgusting actions. !!!!!! What example are you numpties setting for the poor women who simply have very little option but to grin and bear it - you are successful and it's taken you 23 years to dump him??? Brave NOT but marginally more intelligent than Leslie Ash!!!

By Nadia Dawson. Posted June 7 2009 at 11:03 AM.

I need help!

By Natalie. Posted June 7 2009 at 9:51 AM.

keep strong it will be hard he will try everything in the book to get you back dont fall for it men like him are very good at manipulation you fell for it so many times think of your son stay with this man and your son might turn out just like him and thats the last thing you want when he knows you wont take him back no matter what he tries thats when the threats or violence will happen stay srong you will have lots of support you will get through this and you wont regret it it will be the best thing you have ever done in your life and for your childrens lives

By jenny. Posted June 7 2009 at 9:49 AM.

Gillian, make a new better life for yourself for the future. You are worth it.

The best revenge is to live well.

By bee. Posted June 7 2009 at 9:44 AM.

he'll get her back ,when he wants her to do naughty stuff in the front seat of the car on the motorway.

By davy pip. Posted June 7 2009 at 9:42 AM.

Gillian, I too spent years with an abusive man who constantly undermined me, I was a wreck. But I left, with my son, and met a wonderful man who gave me back my confidence and self-esteem. Enjoy your new life, you'll soon be amazed at how you stayed in your old one for so long!

By Cate. Posted June 7 2009 at 9:14 AM.

Gillian, if you read any of these comments, please heed them. Even though you've left this thug, the temptation to have him back will be so strong. But you have to be stronger. You have to walk away and keep walking; for the sake of your children, if not for yourself. Men like him are out of control. What if it doesn't stop one day? What if he goes so far that you're gone forever?
Your kids need their mother so you need to be strong enough to stay away from him for good.

You're still a beautiful talented woman - keep telling yourself that. Please, don't become a statistic like so many tragic people.

By Karen. Posted June 7 2009 at 7:40 AM.

This IS good news!! I remember Geoff sleeping with a neighbour too - and she still stood by him! He's a horrible horrible man who I hope dies lonely as the abusive monster deserves to be with no-one.

By Tracy. Posted June 7 2009 at 7:38 AM.

It takes two to tango. Do you honestly think this foul-mouthed woman would have put up with this guys behaviour for all those years, I think not. this is a pubilicity stunt.

By David. Posted June 7 2009 at 7:36 AM.

For all women who think they are smart...your not!! If you ever been attack, you will leave at once NEVER TO RETURN OR WAIT FOR NEXT PUNCH. Better still do what i done!!! BECOME A BLACK BELT IN MARTIAL ARTS TO DEFEND YOURSELF!!! Never become a victim again!!!

By angel. Posted June 7 2009 at 4:27 AM.

I am an educated woman with three degrees and a professional job. For six years I was in a relationship wiht a man who was permanently a student and refused to work to finance his studies. He also hit me after two years, then every few months. Each attack became more violent until I called the police. He has promised it will not happen again but I know it will and I have to leave. Probably typically of that sort of man when I leave he follows me to work, breaks into my back garden to see me and cries and weaves into conversations all the ways I have hurt him.

It is hard because we see women getting beaten up on the bill and in soaps, and the police domestic violence ads - they make out that this is the sort of thing that only happens to uneducated women, the implication that a woman have to be a bit stupid or despearte or weak to allow it to happen to her.

She doesn't. We are by nature nurturing and caring and it is surprisingly easy for the most bubbly, witty, financially independant and educated women to end up in this situation.

What we need to do is remove the shame. In any other circumstance I could tell friends and colleagues why we split (eg cheating, growing apart, gambling). But I can't speak up about this. Things would be a lot easier if women stood up and said 'I've been there' whenever something like this happens to a public figure.

Look at your female friends. Imagine them getting hit by their partners and staying. You would be surprised how prevalent it is.

By E. Posted June 7 2009 at 2:45 AM.

Stay strong Gill,
I was in a similiar situation myself 10yrs ago, boy I'm so glad I got out when I did,
I probably would'nt be here writing this if I'd stayed much longer, six foot under would've been my next and final destination!!
Good luck to you, you have good family and friends, let them help you with your healing process and eventually find your strong sense of self once again. Look forward to seeing you back on your feet. Your a great woman, remember that x x x x

By Dorton Michelle x.. Posted June 7 2009 at 2:10 AM.

I genuinely hope that by finally ditching such a domineering habitual thug, Gillian can provide a significant degree of inspiration to others suffering the same mental and physical abuse. Get rid of 'em girls - there's much better guys out there who'll treat you infinitely better! It's him who has the problem - not you!

By Dizz. Posted June 7 2009 at 1:31 AM.

She should have done it years ago, do not look back, keep going forward fro you and your childrens' sake.

By Rabbit. Posted June 7 2009 at 1:09 AM.

A brave step by Gill.
Hopefully this will allow her more time to head up her favourite charity Pancreaitis Relief. Good Luck Gill.

By andrew. Posted June 7 2009 at 12:55 AM.

She'll take him back. Wait and see

By matthew Thompson. Posted June 7 2009 at 12:43 AM.

Keep walking away from this man and don't look back. My ex said I would never find another man, I did and am happily married, he only has his mummy. Don't listen to him...

By linda. Posted June 7 2009 at 12:30 AM.

Gillian, you are strong, and you have the love of a great family-you'll get through this, and then come back on Loose Women, where you will be warmly welcomed by all the viewers!

By Eileen. Posted June 7 2009 at 12:17 AM.

I hope that Gillian can stay away from this man, 20 yrs is a very long time to be mentally and physically abused, she will need ongoing counselling to help her and she will have times when she feel desparately lonely and want him back in her life for the sake of just having someone to love her, but someone being abusive towards you certainly isnt love, I know as I have experienced it first hand, and its the hardest thing to get your mind round is the fact that they hit you, then tell you they love you,its their minds that are warped not yours, but trying to get that to stick into your head is impossible as you are numb with it all

By Gilly. Posted June 6 2009 at 11:43 PM.