THE INCREDIBLE HULL

WE were eating Sunday lunch and I reminded the family I was flying to Florida on Thursday to become one of the first people to step aboard the largest cruise ship in the world.

The monster Oasis of the Seas is longer than four football pitches and, at 240ft, one and a half times higher than Nelson's Column, says I.

Wow, awesome and amazing was the response from around the table - plus the question: "How does something that big stay afloat?"

Having seen it, been on it and bought the T-shirt, I still haven't got a clue how the gigantic lump of engineering 3,200 workers built in three years doesn't sink.

But it certainly has the wow factor and is both amazing and awesome!

Royal Caribbean is proudly showcasing its new £800million liner in Fort Lauderdale before it is christened on November 30 and, days later, sets off on its maiden voyage.

My jaw dropped as I spotted the giant liner towering above a skyscraper as it arrived in the port on Friday.

Oasis has 16 decks and 2,706 staterooms (I call them cabins) which can accommodate 6,296 guests. Then there's a crew of around 2,300 and Captain Bill Wright, who is responsible for sailing this beautiful 1,187ft-long beast.

AHOY - Trisha with Captain Bill

I worked out that's like being at the wheel of 39½ London buses all joined together.

Isn't that just a little bit scary?

"Not at all," says Captain Bill who showed me the ship's phenomenal bridge. "Oasis of the Seas is a dream to drive - it is the most technically advanced cruise ship ever built, the most responsive and the most exciting.

Fun

"Everyone acknowledges that it is the biggest, but from up on the bridge the ship really is the coolest thing on the ocean. I don't even think astronauts in new rockets have as much fun as I'm having with this ship."

It's unlikely Oasis can be anything but a massive success for Royal Caribbean, whose Independence of the Seas used to hold the largest title.

SPACIOUS - One of the cabins

Cruise holidays are more popular than ever - 1.6 million Brits went on one this year - and being the new Mrs Big gives it absolute sea-cred! Oasis is an entertainment centre day or night and, incredibly, even has a SHOPPING STREET and a PARK.

Central Park is gorgeous, 250ft by 62ft, the first ever living park at sea with more than 12,000 plants and trees, sculptures and pergolas.

More than 300 staterooms overlook it, so if you're a budding Alan Titchmarsh book a garden room.

The Royal Promenade is where I entered the ship and will be hitting the duty-free shopping - clothes, jewellery, shoes and handbags.

SHOPPING - The Royal Promenade

It's also packed with restaurants and bars that have skylights to Central Park above. But the highlight has to be the Rising Tide bar - another first. It slides up and down between three decks so I got on at 5 and hopped off at 8. How crazy is that?

Boardwalk is an entertainment complex housing the outdoor AquaTheater, a lounging pool area during the day and a venue at night for water, light and acrobatic shows.

They must be aiming for Cirque de Soleil-style performances with giant trampolines, two diving towers with 33ft-high platforms, a trapeze and fountains.

I was sold on this area the minute I saw my favourite fairground ride - the carousel. With real gold-leaf finishings, of course. It has 18 hand-carved wooden figures of zebras, giraffes, lions and horses.

GREEN - Central Park

Boardwalk is also where you can find a pet clothing store (has to be for rich Americans), sweet shop, a tattoo studio, ice cream parlour, doughnut shop, seafood shack and Johnny Rockets diner.

Entertainment Place is THE place to hang out. Think London's West End or New York's Broadway. There's the supercool Jazz on 4 bar, a comedy club and a 1,380-seat theatre staging the musical Hairspray. Oh, and an ice rink, Blaze nightclub and a casino.

BRIGHT - The Oasis of the Seas at night

An 82ft zip line runs over nine decks and straight through the Pool and Sports Zone which has FOUR swimming pools with, wait for it, a water-spouting giant octopus and sea creatures that kids will love! One pool also turns into a beach nightclub in the evening.

Two 43ft rock climbing walls, two FlowRider surf simulators. and a mini-golf course are among the ludicrous number of sports facilities.

The spa has 29 treatment rooms (you can have a 24-carat gold facial, get your teeth whitened and rub out the wrinkles with Botox, so I'll be there!), the gym has 158 machines and the jogging track is nearly half a mile long. There's a long list of feel-good programmes - how to reduce stress, stop smoking or beat seasickness!

Blimey, what with a conference centre, library and wedding chapel all this city on the sea is missing is a Job Centre and Citizen's Advice Bureau.

FINE DINING - One of the many restaurants

Royal Caribbean vice president Robin Shaw told me: "Oasis of the Seas shows off, in the most spectacular style, that holidays at sea are anything but boring. The ship has to be seen and experienced to be believed."

It certainly does... it is one Incredible Hull!

GETTING THERE

BOOK before Thursday for this special offer. Virgin Holidays Cruises offers a 14-night Orlando Stay & Cruise from £999pp. After seven nights room-only in the 3V Quality Inn International, Orlando, join Oasis of the Seas for seven nights from Fort Lauderdale on an Eastern Caribbean cruise in January or to Labadee, Haiti, Costa Maya and Cozumel in Mexico in September. Price is for two adults sharing an inside cabin on full-board with Virgin Atlantic flights from Gatwick. Visit www.virginholidayscruises.co.uk or call 0871 781 9893. Also see www.oasisoftheseas.com

HOW GIANT ADDS UP

1. At 1,187ft, it's longer than four football pitches and higher than Nelson's Column.

VROOM VROOM - A car on the Royal Promenade

2. It's got 3,300 miles of electric cables - almost enough to stretch from London to New York.

3. It has 7,000 works of specially commissioned art - more than the royal collection.

4. There are 2,296 crew, 460 slot machines and 25 shops.

5. 50 tons of ice are produced every day.

6. 2.3 million litres of water will be used every day.

7. The main dining room seats 3,056 guests.

8. It will have SEVEN Godmothers, instead of the traditional one, including singer Gloria Estefan and actress Jane Seymour.

9. It's got the first zip line at sea, a full-size basketball court and two surf simulators.

10. There are four full-time gardeners to look after its park.

SPACIOUS - One of the cabins

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