Zante's got talent
THINK of everything Greece has to offer, said my girlfriend . . . trying to persuade me it was a good idea for our holiday.
What sprang to mind were people smashing plates at weddings and the blubbery dad in Stavros Flatley - the Britain's Got Talent father and son act - heaving his stomach around the stage.
Er . . . think I'll give it a miss, was my reply. But now I'm glad she didn't give in that easily. Because right at the end of the alphabet and just eight miles from Kefalonia, is a place I'll certainly be going back to . . . Zante.
It's a little 76-mile long gem set in the Ionian islands in a part of the Mediterranean that had never appealed to me before, but it didn't take me long to change my mind.
In fact it happened not long after girlfriend Antoinette and I had dropped our bags in our room at the all- inclusive four-star Diana Palace hotel in Argassi, not far from Zakynthos town.
Explore
The friendly staff and fabulous pool just seemed to wash away the stresses and strains.
A couple of days of that - plus some wonderful relaxing meals - and we were ready to explore.
Seeing the island was great fun. For £20 you can hire quad bikes for a day - perfect for touring most of the touristy bits of Zante around its mountainous centre. For the less adventurous, £30 gets you a hire car.
Or you can let someone else take the wheel and join an island safari for about £50. The drivers take you in 4x4s up the mountain tracks and through farms and vineyards to the island's highest point, Vrachionas, at 758 metres above sea level.
From there you can enjoy breathtaking views of nearby Kefalonia and mainland Greece. Sights on the tour include Zante's most photographed site, the Smuggler's Cove shipwreck and the Blue Caves on the tip of the island.
Interesting wildlife is a bit thin on the ground but, if you're lucky, you may catch a glimpse of the giant Caretta Caretta turtles that nest on the coast of Keri in the south.
Families and watersports fans will find a trip to St Nicholas beach on the east coast well worth the effort. There's loads to do here and the children are sure to tire themselves out in a matter of hours.
You can even take part in a dive. Antoinette and I had never even snorkelled before but we both walked away with diving course certificates. A must for children is the Water Village water park in Sarakinado, only a few miles from Zakynthos.
And if you just want a beautiful beach to chill on, resorts like Argassi, Tsilivi, Kalamaki and Laganas have everything you need.
Wherever we went, all the locals we met were extremely welcoming.
Flavour
The one word you'll hear most of all is 'Yassou' - which basically, means 'Cheers'.
When it comes to food, Zante hits the spot. The array of locally-sourced fish, meat and vegetables on offer at most restaurants is totally mouthwatering.
And not even the weak pound can spoil your experience. Our meals were usually around £35 for two including starters and at least one bottle of decent wine. Beer is a reasonable price too - but be careful of the locally brewed ouzo. It's similar to the aniseed flavour of sambuca, but with the kick of a donkey.
A morning-after headache is guaranteed if you overdo it and a sound ringing in your ears as if plates were being smashed all over the place.
Oh, wait a minute, I think they are.
What Greek holiday would be complete without a traditional Greek night. Many restaurants offer the chance to experience great food, a party atmosphere and a touch of kitchenware carnage at weekends. If you haven't tried it, you don't know what you're missing.
While the restaurants are brilliant, the same can't be said of shopping - unless you work out where to look.
Souvenirs can be terribly tacky and clothes carry a giant price tag on imported goods.
But, in the smaller towns on the island, local produce such as honey, wine and olives are cheap and great quality. For the party animals on Zante, Laganas is the place to be. Cheap drinks, loud music and short skirts everywhere.
The atmosphere is fizzing and bars and clubs are open until the small hours so you're bound to find somewhere late you love. The 'School Disco' theme nights are very popular.
I thought that might be a bit of nostalgic fun so I went along to one, against the advice of Antoinette.
Sticky
Five hours later sitting in spilt cocktails, sticky lollipops and doing some kind of group rowing dance on the floor, it dawned on me that maybe it wasn't such a good idea after all.
But one lesson I learned as we headed back to the airport is that a Greek island holiday was a lot more exciting than I ever thought possible.
Who knows, maybe I could even start to find Stavros Flatley funny.
GETTING THERE: THE four-star Diana Palace hotel is one of the resorts featured in the new Co-operative Travel Summer Holidays brochure. Seven nights all- inclusive with Monarch flights from Gatwick, Manchester or Birmingham from £455 per person including transfers. For a copy of the new brochure from Co-operative Travel, which this week launched its own tour operation, visit any branch, see www.co-operativetravel.co.uk or call 0844 335 6439. Destinations include the Balearics, Canaries, mainland Spain, Turkey, Greece, Cyprus, Egypt, Florida and Mexico.
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This article has 7 comments
If you dont want the rowdy teenage drunks then go to Alykes instead, a lovely small quiet town in the north of the island, watch the local life go quietly by, play with the kids on the safe long beach during the day, have a few drinks if you want get merry, have a lovely meal, and walk safely and easily back to your hotel with your young children. Thats the kind of place it can be.
(one problem you get woken at 4.30 by the chickens in the next field)
By Mrs N. Posted July 17 2009 at 10:11 PM.
My idea of hell when I went there 3 years ago. Laganas is one of the rape capitals of greece. Less controversial but just as classless, Kalamaki is like a landing strip full of drunk chavvy girls and blokes streaming in and out of Irish bars, karaoke bars and the usual 'tavernas' which are pretty far from what a greek taverna should be.
If you want to get drunk every night amongst a load of 'Brits Abroad' flag waving morons at 'School Nights' which you could find in the UK and eat at restaurants offering 'full english breakfast' or Irish bars (great in Ireland, wrong in Greeve) playing English football matches on Sky, day in, day out - fine. But realise that you are missing out on (and helping to destroy) REAL Greece where you can find culture, relaxation and sun. Why go abroad to drink in Irish bars, sing English karaoke and eat English food?
I shouldn't try to convince you. If you are the sort of person this kind of break appeals to, please carry on going there. At least that way you won't venture further afield and change unspoilt places around Europe into this kind of horrible low-class tourist trap...
By Jim. Posted July 12 2009 at 10:40 PM.
Check an Atlas before you write about places you don't know. Cyprus is Greek as NI is English.
By anastasia. Posted July 12 2009 at 7:02 PM.
'Yassou' means hello,yamas means chears should know im learing greek and have been going to the diana palace for 9 years now
By steven . Posted July 12 2009 at 6:35 PM.
sounds like your kind of place!
By margaret. Posted July 12 2009 at 2:04 PM.
Ive been there its a wonderful place to be.I will go back again & again.
By Barry K. Posted July 12 2009 at 10:57 AM.
nice comment
By Susan. Posted July 12 2009 at 3:22 AM.