DEAR JANE

I have a high sex drive and want it every day but my wife is happy with two or three times a week. Sometimes she lets me have more but I can't help feeling it's under sufferance.

Last week her mum had a fall and broke her wrist, so my wife took the kids and went down south to look after her, leaving me on my own for a couple of weeks.

After a few days I was going mad with frustration, and I think that was why I responded so readily to our neighbour when she came on to me.

My wife had asked her to stop by and see how I was managing. She called round one night just after I'd got home from work and I was so pleased to have someone to talk to I asked her in for a drink. I honestly never thought about anything more than that.

She is in her forties so a bit older than me but she's fit. She's sexy, too. She's divorced and has obviously been round the block a few times.

A couple of vodkas later and the conversation got round to sex, as it does. She confided in me that she hadn't had sex for eight months and was mad for it, so it seemed only natural for me to tell her how frustrated I'd been feeling since my wife had been away.

So she said: "What are we waiting for? We can do each other a favour."

I thought she was joking but she was deadly serious. Next thing I know, she's unzipping my trousers and pushing me towards the bedroom where we had sex - and oh boy, did it feel good.

Afterwards, she suggested I call in at her place a couple of times a week for no strings sex while my wife is at the gym. She said it would solve both our problems, and my wife need never know.

I am so tempted. On the face of it, what could be simpler and where's the harm?

I love my wife and we have a good marriage but not getting enough sex is difficult for me. Could this be a way of solving the problem?

JANE SAYS No, not if you want to hang on to your good marriage.

Your neighbour may well claim that she's only after no-strings sex but don't be taken in.

Once she's got her claws into you, she won't let go in a hurry. She's likely to start making emotional demands on you.

She may even let something slip to your wife but, if she doesn't, your wife is bound to pick up tell-tale signs that you're cheating.

You're well able to control your sexual urges. Don't throw away your marriage for cheap thrills.

Nookie secret's a turn off

DEAR JANE Seven years ago I had drunken sex at a party with my partner's best friend - and after keeping it secret she's now gone and told my girl everything after all this time.

I was ashamed at the time and made this woman promise never to say anything. I was relieved when she married soon after and moved away.

But she has moved back to the area and got in touch with my partner. She says she spilled the beans because her conscience was troubling her.

My partner says she has forgiven me but has been unable to make love with me, saying her sexual feelings for me have died. Can we ever be happy again? I love her so much.

JANE SAYS You will have to give your partner some time to get over all this. She is in shock and is feeling betrayed by both you and her so-called friend.

Your partner will have a lot of hurt and angry feelings to deal with because of what she has found out.

And these emotions are getting in the way of her sexual desire.

It takes a while to rebuild trust but, if the love is still there in your relationship, her sexual feelings should return.

Give her lots of cuddles and kisses but don't rush her. Some friend!

I've clicked with net guys

DEAR JANE Despite loving my husband, I've been attracted to two guys I've met online - and one of them has even been showing me his penis on his webcam.

The other said he would have sex with me but demands I do weird stuff. He speaks to me as though I'm muck and when I complained, he said he could say whatever he liked because he isn't bothered about me.

The thing is I'm still attracted to him, and I don't know why. The webcam guy won't meet up because he says he's always busy. I've not done anything with either of them but I'm scared I'm going to. I don't know what to do.

JANE SAYS Pull yourself together and tell both of them you want nothing more to do with them.

They couldn't care less about you. They're only interested in using you for sex.

Then ask yourself why you're having dangerous flirtations with unpleasant users when you've got a husband you claim to love. What's missing from your relationship?

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