DEAR JANE: I HAD a wild drunken orgy with my university mates, and now I'm a complete flop in bed with my wife.

I'm so racked with guilt I can't even manage to get any sort of erection.

It all started with a get-together at a hotel near my old university.

My wife was a bit put out that she wasn't invited but she trusted me not to do anything stupid.

It turns out her trust was misplaced.

When I met up with my old mates it was as though the last ten years had never happened.

We were like students again, making the same jokes and flirting with the same people.

Strip

I ended up playing drinking games with the three girls and two guys I used to share a house with, just as we used to do all those years ago.

As a result, we all got very drunk, and someone suggested we went upstairs to my room to play strip poker.

It was something we'd do for a laugh when we lived together.

It was weird. It was as though the clock had been turned back and I was 21 again. One of the girls is a real minx and was egging on the others to strip off my clothes even though I was winning.

Somehow or other we all ended up naked and doing all sorts of sexual things to each other.

I can't remember who did what to whom, but I know I had sex with two of the girls.

It was a great experience at the time, but the next morning I woke up with a horrendous hangover and a huge feeling of guilt.

On the way home I convinced myself that what had happened was just a bit of fun between old friends, and there was no point in hurting my wife by owning up.

But since then I have been unable to get an erection whenever I try and make love to her.

It's never happened before. What's wrong with me?

JANE SAYS: ERECTIONS start in the brain, and if you're weighed down with guilt about what you did it's likely to affect your ability to get excited.

Take the pressure off yourself by agreeing not to have intercourse for while, and experiment by pleasuring your wife in other ways.

If you cannot get rid of your guilt, maybe the only way you'll be able to move on is by coming clean to her.

Sure, she'll be hurt - but you should have thought about that before you cheated, shouldn't you?

Teacher rings my bell

DEAR JANE: I'M a single mum and I have started really fancying one of the male teachers who works at my child's school.

Whenever I see him there he smiles at me and says hello, and at the last parents' evening he stared at me even though he was talking to other parents.

There is a lot of eye contact every time I see this teacher now.

He seems to fancy me too and I know that he is not married.

Would it be all right if I were to ask my child to tell the teacher I fancy him?

I could never tell him or ask him out myself.

JANE SAYS: ABSOLUTELY not! For a start, it would be completely the wrong thing to expect your child to do for you.

And aside from the fact that it would be unfair to dump the responsibility on your child, it would be all round the school by break-time.

The poor guy would be subjected to so much teasing, he would be likely to run a mile from you.

Try getting into a conversation with this teacher you like instead.

Once you have built up a friendship, it should be easier for both of you to make your feelings clear to each other.

She wants too much sex

DEAR JANE: MY partner wants sex every day, sometimes twice, and she is wearing me out so much I have started to dread bedtime.

She is not satisfied with a quickie. She wants to do all sorts of weird and wonderful things in bed.

And after a day's work, half the time I just don't feel like it.

When we first met, I was up for sex every single day.

But since then, I have got a new, much more demanding job. I'm tired out when I get home. If I say no, she gets annoyed and I am afraid that she will find someone else to satisfy her. What shall I do?

JANE SAYS: EXPLAIN how you feel and divide up the week.

You say what you want to do in bed three nights a week, she says chooses for the other three, and Sunday is up for grabs.

If she can't accept that, it might be better to call it a day. Loving relationships are about more than sex and if that's all she wants, you're better off without her.

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