DEAR JANE: MY wife's suggesting her sister comes on holiday with us. The trouble is, I've been having an affair with the woman.

I'm 29, my wife is 31. We've been married three years, and although we get on OK our sex life isn't as hot as it used to be.

We both work shifts, and sometimes we hardly see each other from one week to the next. A few months ago her sister left her partner and moved back to live with my in-laws, who live up the road from us.

She's a good-looking girl but a real handful. This is the third partner she's dumped because she got bored.

She was made redundant last year and started turning up at the gym where I work as a personal trainer.

Then she began arriving at our house when I wasn't working, more often than not when my wife was at work, and sending out full-on signals that she fancied me.

I honestly did try to ignore her, even though her flirting grew more outrageous.

Then one day when I was talking on the phone she started fondling me.

She undid my shirt and began to stroke my chest until I had to finish the call.

By then I was so aroused that when she started taking off her clothes I couldn't bring myself to tell her to leave off. She said she felt like a bit of fun so why not go for it? Afterwards she said she'd give me seven out of ten and next time I had to aim for eight.

The cheek of it! I said there wouldn't be a next time, but she gave me a look that had me wanting more.

I am ashamed to say that whenever she turns up and I am on my own we end up in bed together, and the more we do it the more electrifying sex with her becomes.

I am so scared my wife will find out, yet I find her sister so exciting I can't say no.

Now my wife has suggested she comes on holiday with us to our apartment in Spain. I like the idea of her sister coming, but I'm afraid that if she does she'll start coming on to me and I won't be able to resist her.

If I say no my wife will think it odd. I don't know what to do for the best.

JANE SAYS: IT would be madness to let this woman come on holiday with you, especially as she seems to delight in brazen behaviour.

Your wife is bound to sense something's going on. Tell her straight that you don't want her sister tagging along because you want to spend quality time with her - after all, you rarely see one another.

If you've any sense you'll finish with this girl. She's only having fun, but you stand to lose everything every time you have sex with her.

Finish it.

Addicted to sex with ex

DEAR JANE: HAVING a really high sex drive is causing me problems. My ex was great in the sack and I'm still having sex with him because my new man can't satisfy me like he can.

My ex is a total rat and he cheated on me so many times during our three-year relationship but I keep going back for more because he is such a good lover.

My new man is kind and loving and I hate myself for doing it but I keep getting in touch with my ex to ask for sex and he only has to say yes and I go running. I'll lose my lovely bloke if he finds out, but I'm addicted to sex with my ex.

How can I get away from him?

JANE SAYS: YOU are so busy comparing him with your ex, it's no wonder this new boyfriend of yours cannot satisfy you in bed.

You haven't given him a chance to develop a good sexual relationship with you.

If you talked to him about what you like doing in bed and started experimenting, who knows what he might be capable of?

You CAN let go of your ex-fella, once you decide to do so.

Think about the heartache he caused you. You know there's no future with him so is it worth risking a potentially good relationship just for good sex?

In stew of rabbit

DEAR JANE: AFTER my partner discovered me using a Rampant Rabbit, he went off the boil sexually. He says I obviously don't need him now I've got my sex toy.

He was not happy when my mate gave it me for my birthday. He asked whether I'd told my mates he didn't satisfy me.

I said I would never use it but curiosity got the better of me so I tried it. It was such a turn on I now use it regularly, and it's done wonders for our sex life because I now feel ready for sex at any time. Last week he came home early and caught me at it, and he made me feel as though I was cheating. We haven't had sex since. What's his problem?

JANE SAYS: HE sees your sex toy as competition and he's scared you might prefer it to him. Explain that it is nothing to do with how you feel about him or his prowess as a lover.

Make sure you tell him that it actually revs up your desire to have sex with him. If he was more secure about himself, he wouldn't feel so threatened.

• Guilt over orgy has made me go droopy

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