DEAR JANE: I'VE been having hot sex with my boyfriend's dad and now I'm pregnant. Problem is, I don't know who the father is.

My boyfriend's parents are divorced, and his dad runs a camping and caravan park in France.

A few weeks ago we went to stay with him. It was the first time I'd met him and I thought, "Wow!" He's tall, tanned and fit. He also turned out to be a real charmer.

One morning there was a problem with the plumbing and my boyfriend went off to the nearest town for a spare part-leaving me and his dad painting one of the caravans.

Breasts

He was quite flirty once my boyfriend was out of the way. I was wearing shorts and a low-cut top, and I kept catching him staring at my breasts.

We stopped for coffee and sat on the caravan steps together in the sunshine and I sensed a real attraction between us.

We ended up kissing and then having sex inside the caravan, and he certainly knew how to please a woman.

He told me he'd wanted me from the start. I felt so confused that by the time my boyfriend came back I was all over the place. His dad's more than twice my age yet we seemed to have so much in common.

The rest of the time we spent there I had sex with him as often as I could. Sometimes we took terrible risks. Once after my boyfriend had crashed out after too much wine, I went into his dad's room and we spent the rest of the night having fantastic sex.

When we went home I felt desolate at the thought of leaving him, although he promised to keep in touch. Beside him my boyfriend seems so awkward, and there's no comparison when it comes to lovemaking. I emailed him as soon as I got home and every day since, but in three weeks I've heard nothing.

I can't understand it. I've tried phoning but the answering machine is always on. What's worse, I think I might be pregnant and I've no idea whether he or my boyfriend is the father.

What shall I do?

JANE SAYS: FIRST things first. Buy a pregnancy testing kit and find out for sure if you are.

If it's positive, think hard about whether this is the right time for you to be having a baby, given that your relationship with your boyfriend is so precarious you can be tempted into sex with someone else.

Talk to a counsellor at the British Pregnancy Advisory Service (www.bpas. org) and forget about his dad. He's obviously not interested- and a man so unprincipled he betrays his own son is bad news indeed.

Five years without sex

DEAR JANE: MY wife went through an early menopause ten years ago at the age of 38. Her sex drive disappeared and we haven't made love for the past five years.

She says having sex is too painful. I have bought gels but she won't use them.

She won't read books on sex to try to find a solution to the problem either, and she refuses to try sex toys.

I have even said we don't need to have full sex to make love, but still nothing.

In all the years we have been together, she won't try anything different, including oral sex, although she didn't mind me doing it to her. I love her but she is being unfair, unreasonable and selfish.

What can I do except go elsewhere to have a sexual relationship?

JANE SAYS: SHE is certainly being unreasonable expecting you to remain in a celibate relationship. Her doctor may be able to help.

If she refuses to seek help, maybe she is using this as an excuse and there is something much more fundamental wrong with your relationship.

A Relate counsellor (0300 100 1234) may be able to help you discover the problem.

Bike ride to misery

DEAR JANE: THREE months ago I made the biggest mistake of my life when I was tempted into having sex with the local bike, and my girlfriend found out.

My girlfriend is pretty, clever, sexy, and I love her to bits.

But when this other woman started making come-on on signals to me and paying me all sorts of compliments, I just couldn't resist and I went for it.

We had a one-night stand, and someone told my girlfriend. She was so hurt by what I had done that she finished with me, and only then did I realise how much I loved her.

How can I win her back?

JANE SAYS: IT depends on your previous history. If it's not the first time you've cheated on her, you've little chance.

Grovel and tell her you're more than sorry about what you've done.

Convince her that if she gives you another chance it will never happen again and let her know how much she means to you. But it might still be too late.

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