DEAR JANE: I FINISHED with my fiancée after catching her fondling a lad in a nightclub. She broke my heart and now I take revenge by cheating on every girl I go out with.

I never cheated on her. I loved her too much and now I wonder whether I'll ever be happy with someone again.

My ex and I started going out when we were teenagers and I thought we'd be together for life. I worshipped her. I even gave up my college course and took a labouring job on the building sites so I could buy her anything she wanted.

We got engaged and I took on another job in a bar to earn more money because she wanted us to buy our own house-but that was my mistake.

She got the hump because she wanted some fun and I was either too tired to take her out or working, so she started going clubbing with her girl pals.

One night after I'd finished in the bar, one of my mates suggested we went to a club.

I knew my girlfriend was out with her friends, but I never expected to bump into her in the same club.

She was drunk and draped all over this lad. His hands were on her bottom and she was fondling him. In fact, they were all but having sex in full view of everyone. I nearly decked him, especially when she laughed in my face.

She didn't come home until the next morning. We had a blazing row and she screamed at me that she'd been seeing other blokes for weeks because I was never around for her.

She said some horrible things about what a lousy lover I was until I lost it completely. I picked her up and literally threw her and her things out into the street.

That was a year ago. I've had no shortage of girlfriends since but as soon as they start to get close, I push them away and do all I can to hurt them like she hurt me. My last girlfriend caught me in bed with two tarts I picked up in the pub. She didn't deserve that.

I've just started seeing someone else and I know I'll hurt her too. I want to be happy with someone but I can't forget my ex. How can I stop this and move on?

JANE SAYS: YOU can't move on until you decide once and for all to let go of your ex.

You're taking out the anger you feel on girls you meet, even though none of this is their fault.

You fear commitment because you're scared of getting hurt again but, although rejection hurts, it's part of life and you must learn to deal with it.

Stop trying to cling to what you had and let the past go. After a while, you should be able to look forward with optimism again.

Conned by Russian doll

DEAR JANE: CAN you help me find the woman I love? She is Russian, and very beautiful. We met through an internet site and would do anything to be together.

Everything seemed to be going really well until I sent her the money to pay for a flight to the UK to come and see me.

She emailed me shortly afterwards saying that her mother had taken ill, which meant she would have to postpone the trip until she had nursed her back to health.

We haven't spoken since and although I have emailed her many times, I haven't had any response. I feel sure she is genuine, and am so worried something has happened to her.

I feel totally lost without her, how can I find out where she is?

JANE SAYS: IT'S sad, but the chances are she was only after your money.

The internet is full of scams like this, and the golden rule is don't give money to women you are put in touch with.

Get in touch with the agency that introduced her to you. If it's reputable, there's a slight chance they might be able to track her down. But don't hold your breath.

Sex with her is dull

DEAR JANE: HOW can I get my partner to be more adventurous in bed?

When I asked her for oral sex she looked totally disgusted. She eventually agreed to give it a go but it wasn't an enjoyable experience.

She told me it seemed dirty to her, and she couldn't understand why I liked the idea of it in the first place.

She won't even entertain the idea of allowing me to give her oral sex, although I'm pretty sure she'd enjoy it.

And the only sex position she's willing to try is with me on top of her. How can I get her to relax and enjoy sex? She seems to see it as nothing but a chore at the moment.

JANE SAYS: MAYBE she has received negative messages in the past about sex.

Spend time giving each other sensual massages and encourage her to explore her body when she is alone and relaxed.

But if she remains adamant that she dislikes oral sex, you'll have to accept this very intimate form of lovemaking isn't for her.

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