DEAR JANE: MY rich lover wants me to ditch my husband and live with him. I must admit I'm tempted, even though I don't love him.

I've been married to my husband for five years. He's 27, I'm 24. I do love him, but life has been one long struggle since he decided to jack in his job as a builder and train as a teacher.

We're up to our eyes in debt. Things got a bit better when I found a well-paid job as PA to the chief executive of a big company in the City.

I got on well with my boss, and it was good to be with people who talked about something other than education.

A few weeks ago my boss won an important contract, and he took the department out to dinner to celebrate.

I drank so much wine I couldn't drive home, so he said he'd book me a room in the hotel where he and some others were staying.

My husband was working on an assignment and I thought he'd welcome the chance to be alone, so I said yes.

My boss is a good-looking divorced man in his early 40s. I knew he found me attractive as there was a lot of playful, flirtatious banter. We had a lot more to drink in the hotel bar.

It was late and there was just the two of us when I suddenly caught his eye, and was aware of some powerful feelings between us. Suddenly he grabbed my hand and led me upstairs, and next thing I knew we were rolling around in his hotel bedroom having hot, dirty drunken sex. We've been at it ever since.

My husband doesn't notice when I'm late home because I've spent a couple of hours in a hotel having sex with my boss. He's too busy studying.

He hasn't noticed that I've acquired a gold bracelet and earrings, a designer suit and an expensive watch either-all presents from my boss. I love the lifestyle my boss can give me, we get on well and the sex is great. Recently he said we made such a good team why didn't I move in with him, and I'm tempted.

I'm sick of scrimping and saving, but I don't love him, I just love what he can give me. Despite everything I adore my husband - I just wish he earned some money.

Even when he qualifies he won't be earning much for ages.

I'm afraid I'll regret turning down the chance of a good lifestyle if I blow my boss away. So could it work?

JANE SAYS: SOONER or later the expensive gifts he showers you with will stop filling the emotional void caused by being in a loveless relationship.

Are you really so mercenary you can turn your back on a man you love for someone you don't, simply for the sake of his bank balance? Marriage is all about ups and downs.

Give your husband the support he needs and finish with your boss. You'll probably live to regret it if you don't.

Horny lad's lust chance

DEAR JANE: MY fella behaves towards me as though I'm a dog on heat - he wants sex morning, noon and night. He is obsessed with it.

He touches me up wherever I am and whatever I am doing. He pulls down my underwear when I'm doing the housework. In fact any time I am alone with him he is likely to jump on me.

He is 17, I am 18, and we have been together six months.

At first I felt special because he desired me so much but now I am getting fed up with being treated as a sex object. If I say no he says I don't love him. I don't want to lose him, but this can't go on. What can I do?

JANE SAYS: DON'T let him emotionally blackmail you into sex you don't want. If you don't fancy it say a very loud and firm NO - and mean it.

You need to remind him that your objections are nothing to do with love, and all to do with respect.

If he cannot accept that, then I'm afraid the only thing to do is finish it.

Ruled by his bully wife

DEAR JANE: FOR the past nine months I have been seeing a caring, lovely man. He is 46, with a couple of grown up children.

His wife went off with his best friend and he had been on his own for 18 months before he started to see me.

I am 25 with six-year-old twins, whose dad left me before they were born.

I was so happy with my new bloke until he told his wife he wanted a divorce because one day we want to get married.

She went absolutely berserk and told him he'd never see his kids or grandchildren if we did end up getting married.

She's already managed to poison his daughter's mind against him, and he is terrified of losing contact with her and his son altogether.

He's just moved in with me and because of her reaction he's talking of moving out until she's calmed down. I am devastated.

He says he hates her, so why does he let her manipulate him?

JANE SAYS: OLD habits can be hard to break. Suggest that he talks to his children in the first instance.

They are adults, and it's up to them whether or not they see him. If she's always controlled and bullied him he probably finds it hard to stand up to her, but unless he's brave enough to make a stand he'll never be shot of her.

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