Dear Jane: MY sexy lover has just dumped me for a younger woman. I thought he loved me. How can I face life without him?

We met at a fund-raising ball. Even though I was with my husband he whispered in my ear that he was going to make me his before the year was out.

It gave me a thrill as I am a natural flirt but I told him there was no chance as I was married. Then I bumped into him a few weeks later at the school gates. He gave me his phone number and I couldn't resist texting him.

We arranged to meet in a coffee shop, where we talked for ages, and he held my hands and told me about his divorce and his kids.

Sofa

He kissed me when I went, and it was the start of two very passionate months.

Every day he phoned or texted, telling me how much he missed me. Every day we met up, even if it was five minutes in the supermarket.

Ten days after our first meeting we had sex, and it was mind-blowing. We had the most amazing sessions in his house while the kids were at school-we'd make love on the sofa, the floor or his bedroom.

All he wanted was to give me pleasure. He turned me on so much that even his kisses gave me an orgasm. His friends disapproved because I was married-but I didn't care. I'd fallen in love with him after two weeks, and he told me he loved me. He even asked me to have a baby with him. Luckily, it didn't happen.

A week ago was the last time we made love, and we spent ages giving each other oral sex. We lay in each other's arms kissing and cuddling until I had to leave.

Then he texted to say it was over. He said he'd enjoyed it but he was now seeing someone who's single and younger than me, and I must leave him to it. I am gutted, and since then have done nothing but cry and jump down my kids' throats. I can't even look at my husband.

I can't stop thinking about my sexy man. I sleep in his T-shirt and yearn for him to say he's made a mistake. If I could go to sleep and never wake up I would.

What should I do?

JANE SAYS: YOU must just accept this was a fling as far as he was concerned. Throw away his T-shirt and delete his texts.

Then take a long, hard look at your marriage. You hardly mention your husband. What was he doing while all this was going on? What problems caused you to fall for this other man?

You owe it to your kids to try to repair your marriage, so do some straight talking to your husband about what's gone wrong and how you can work at getting closer again.

But you can't do that until you get a grip and forget about this other man.

Say no way to three-way

DEAR JANE: RECENTLY my partner has started to obsess about the fact that before we met I'd slept with three more people than him.

He says he's never been out with anyone who has had more sexual partners than he has, and because he feels uncomfortable about it he wants to have a threesome as he thinks this would put us on an even par.

He wants me to be involved as he says it would be cheating otherwise-and he wouldn't be able to go through with it. I believe he loves me and I am sure he wouldn't cheat. We've been together for two years.

Could you give me any advice to help me?

JANE SAYS: YOU must say a very loud and clear NO. He fancies a threesome and he has figured out a way of doing it that places all the responsibility on you.

But you would be taking a huge risk if you agreed to let this happen. Can you honestly say that you wouldn't feel jealous if you had to watch him making love to and pleasuring another woman?

Tell him that what happened in your love life before he met you is nothing to do with what you and he have now.

If he really loves does you, he won't push you into something you don't want to do.

Jealous over hen do

DEAR JANE: EVER since I told my boyfriend that I'd been invited on a hen weekend to Ibiza he's had the hump.

He says he's heard that girls on hen weekends go out looking for sex-and if I loved him I wouldn't go.

He seems to think that as soon as I'm out of sight I'm going to be at it with every bloke who comes along.

I cannot believe he can think this. We've been together four months and until now we've got on well but this is really threatening our relationship. I don't want to duck out of this weekend as it's my best mate who's getting married.

But would it be best not to go?

JANE SAYS: NO. You'd be pandering to your boyfriend's insecurities and lack of trust, and he'll end up controlling how you live your life.

Tell him that his fears are groundless and if your relationship has any chance of survival he needs to trust you.

If he finishes your relationship because of it, you're better off without him.

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