Heidi-hi

TWENTY years ago, when I still fancied myself as a bit of a rebel, I might have done something bad on the streets of Bad Ragaz just to get a reaction.

Because, for me, Switzerland was Dullsville. There was no edge, it was too ordered. In short, it was boring.

Fast forward 20 years and Switzerland is now my idea of Heaven on Earth. The order, the cleanliness, the air, the innate courtesy of the people and the fact that everything works is fantastically comforting as I hurtle into middle age.

CHOCS AWAY: Time for a massage

Which is why, when asked to spend two days in one of Switzerland's plushest hotels-cum-health spas, The Husband and I were at Heathrow faster than the chime of a cuckoo clock.

Spotless

Bad Ragaz is about an hour by train from Zurich and as we slid through the countryside with its alpine chalets and stone turreted houses watching honey-coloured cows with bells around their necks, we sipped on a chilled Sauvignon made in the region we were about to visit. Our train arrived at the tiny (again spotless) station in Bad Ragaz where a limo from the hotel was waiting. It was so close we could have walked but the staff at the Grand Hotel Quellenhof weren't having that. Guests are treated like royalty from the moment they enter the hotel set in the lush Rhine Valley in the shadow of the Falknis Mountains.

Even though the hotel is home to one of Europe's most luxurious spas (and one of the world's best golf courses) just breathing the air is enough to infuse you with a feeling of well-being.

Within minutes of us arriving in our suite the waiter had brought two glasses of chilled champagne which we sipped on our balcony looking out at the mountains trying to decide what our first treatment should be.

SPA: Grand Hotel Quellenhof

As it was 4pm, we decided to have a swim before dinner. But which pool? The Helenbath (a Roman thermal bath complete with Jacuzzis in every corner), the Roman-Irish Bath, the sports pool, the thermarium, the freshwater whirlpools or the outdoor Tamina thermal spa. We tried them all as we padded around the hotel in snowy-white bathrobes looking for the next little pocket of luxury.

On that first night we dined in the Abtestube gourmet restaurant with its stone vaulted ceilings and tables set with pristine white tablecloths and sparkling crystal glasses.

Nothing is too much trouble for the staff at Hotel Quellenhof. There's no attitude-just five-star smiling service.

We had the Gourmet Menu: five courses, all of which were perfection.

The next morning The Husband and I were ready to start our treatments. Hotel Quellenhof might be called a Spa but the word doesn't do the place justice. There are 21 specialist doctors at the Swiss Olympic Medical Centre inside the hotel.

LUXURIOUS: The plush bedrooms

Athletes from all over the world avail themselves of the latest equipment, treatments and techniques. And everything available to them is available to residents.

There's a clinic for plastic surgery (discretion is their watchword, ladies); a centre which offers holistic treatments from around the world; aruyvedic treatments from India for the regeneration of mind, body and sprit; Thai massages, thermal waters, and facial treatments.

People who need to get fit can use the extensive gyms and those who've been ill and need to recuperate can come here too.

And the resort is also the only one in Switzerland to have an 18-hole championship golf course. There's a nine-hole and driving range too.

I had a Lastone Therapy Massage which I hated because it made me feel like my blood was boiling. The Husband had a Thai massage where a little lady walked all over him for two hours and he said it was the best massage he'd ever had.

I then had a divine La Prairie Caviar facial. I bribed The Husband to have a back wax but when he came back to our room he had a huge red mark in the middle of his eyebrows.

The therapist had waited until his eyes were closed and-the Mono Brow was no more.

Cheaper

SPLENDOUR: Quellenhof restaurant

Right next door to Quellenhof, is the four-star Grand Hotel Hof Ragaz. It's just as beautiful but a lot cheaper.

Manager Peter Tschirky says not enough Brits come to either hotel -probably because, like me, they're labouring under the old illusion that Switzerland is boring.

The next morning we took a horse and carriage through a couple of small villages and on to the local vineyards.

We'd said we wanted to be back at the hotel by noon because we were checking out and wanted a quick lunch first.

On the last stroke of 12 we pulled up outside the hotel entrance.

Even Swiss horses know how to keep good time.

Oh, I forgot to mention that there are countless shops inside the complex, so no withdrawal symptoms, ladies. It's like Bond Street without the hassle.

NEW-LOOK HAVEN PARK TRULY ROCKS

By Tricia Harbord

RELAXING: By the spa's fish pond

TRANQUIL music and the soft sound of trickling water greet you as you enter Rockley Park spa. The titchy fish in the pond might not compete with the exotic Koi at London's posh Sanctuary . . . but step inside and everything else does.

The new £2.5 million pampering palace is not what you'd expect on a Haven caravan park. But caravan parks are not what they used to be.

When owners pay up to £80,000 for what they rightly prefer to call "holiday homes" and £130,000 for a lodge, an on-site bar, chip shop and the odd game of bingo just won't do any more.

The spa at Rockley Park in Poole sends out a loud message that holiday parks are classier with bigger and better modern facilities than ever before.

General manager Graham Plant told me: "You need to offer visitors more relaxation and entertainment choices and the spa is a fabulous and popular addition to the facilities here."

I can vouch for that after spending six hours there and being forced to drag myself away.

AFFORDABLE: But new spa is classy

Unlike Carole Malone at her posh Swiss spa hotel, I hadn't been picked up from Poole station by a silver limo and wasn't handed a glass of chilled champers on arrival at the Haven spa . . . just a plastic cup of chilled water! But I DID get a fluffy dressing gown and slippers. And I wasn't facing a bill as big as a Swiss roll.

At Rockley Park you can get a bikini wax or nail file and varnish for a tenner, a full-body fake tan for £25 or a facial for £40. But it's worth treating yourself to the bargain £110 day package, or £99 if you're a holiday home owner.

You get a scalp massage, body massage, pedicure and facial PLUS use of the steam and sauna rooms and relaxation garden with hot tub.

Music

I was there on a glorious sunny day- you could easily have been in a spa for the stars in Thailand, or Switzerland.

The four treatment rooms with showers have soft music and dimmed lighting and the beauticians are as good as I've experienced anywhere.

You can order a light lunch or get refreshments from reception and chill in the lounge or on the outside decked veranda.

The spa has just made Rockley Park an even better family holiday centre. It has swimming pools, tennis courts, multi-sports courts, an all-weather bowling green and entertainment day and night.

There's a sailing school plus boat storage, mooring and launching facilities which give access to Poole Harbour. So, it's got pretty much everything you need for a great break.

There's no plastic surgery available but hey, who needs it?

You can get fish and chips or a curry for £7.45 and a four pint jug of beer for £9.95. That'll do, spa!

GETTING THERE

THREE nights B&B at the Grand Hotel Quellenhof including fitness and relaxation lessons, Kanebo facial and whole body peeling treatment, an Aroma massage, return flights from Gatwick to Zurich (based on double occupancy) is from £935 per person.

For details call Couture Travel Company on 0845 6039815 or visit www.couturetravelcompany.com

A four-night break at Haven's Rockley Park from September 22 starts at £119 for four people in Superior accommodation.

Touring facilities are also available. Visit www.haven.com or call 0871 230 1900. If you fancy owning a holiday home see www.haven holidayhomes.co. uk or call 0870 165 0151.