GOGGLES protecting our eyes, faces wrapped in Arab scarves, and covered head to toe in a thick layer of orange sand, we bumped at high speed across the sunbaked desert valley.

Throttles wide open, the quad bikes powered along in a huge cloud of dust until, out of nowhere, we rounded a towering dune . . . and ended up slap bang in the middle of a Bedouin camp.

We cut the engines. Eerie silence. Just a few shacks and an empty compound. And (I kid you not) tumbleweed rolling in front of us.

An irrational niggle of fear began to rise-sparked by watching too many TV war reports filed from barren landscapes just like this one. I even half expected Ross Kemp to come yomping over the hill with a troop of Marines and a film crew.

Suddenly, movement to our right . . . and a band of Bedouin men burst from behind one of the huts brandishing something big and metallic, and aiming it straight at us.

And it was from that silver teapot they were carrying that we all enjoyed a nice cup of tea-the desert variety of course . . . black, hot and very sweet!

OK, so our desert adventure was in fact a £40 day trip on a week-long package deal. The friendly nomadic tribesmen (now earning a living in the holiday trade) even cooked us chicken and gave us some puffs on their hookah pipes before sending us back to civilisation.

We were staying in Sharm El Sheikh, a burgeoning holiday oasis at the toe of the biblical Sinai desert-a massive triangular lump of Egypt that dangles down into the Red Sea.

And it's very much the Middle East. Look on a map and there's Jerusalem over there. There's Beirut. And isn't that Iraq? Sharm itself though is perfectly safe and dedicated to having a good time. World leaders come here to talk peace. Tony Blair stays in a villa on the hillside.

Snorkel

It's not a destination to admire the beauty of the landscape (sand is sand, after all). But it has year-round sunshine, warm seas, and stunning coral reefs that divers will give their right lung to explore. On top of that there are five-star hotels just a camel's spit away in any direction.

We-that's me, wife Anne and teenage son Sam-stayed at the swish Reef Oasis Blue Bay Resort and Spa, complete with white sandy beach and even its own reef where you can snorkel or scuba dive among the tropical fish.

On top of that were three giant pools, lovingly-tended grounds, bedrooms big enough to hold a small wedding reception in, and a mini bar that was restocked with soft drinks daily on our all-inclusive package.

No, the food wasn't the Savoy-although it was fresh and well-cooked. And the drinks and cocktails were a bit on the industrial side. But the staff were hard-working and friendly to a man (hardly any women . . . even our room maid was a bloke).

Then there was the gardener who spent three days manicuring the grass below our sea-facing balcony. We called him Mo the Lawn, because (fact, apparently) one in three Egyptian males is called Mohammed. Well, the Mo the merrier, I suppose.

While you could happily spend all your time sunbathing, swimming and sipping diesel-based pina coladas, it'd be a shame to miss out on some of the trips and excursions on offer.

We had dinner at another Bedouin camp under the stars . . . and were given a visual tour of the sky with the help of an expert astronomer and some high-powered electronic telescopes.

A scuba diving lesson's not to be missed nor is a boat trip to Ras Mohammed, an underwater national park where the diving and snorkelling on the reef is spectacular.

Or take a trip to touristy Na'ama Bay or to the souk in Old Sharm and enjoy haggling over your shopping. Expect to at least halve the first price they offer. We knocked two-thirds off some snorkels (a must-have in Sharm) from one persistent shopkeeper who really did chase us up the street as we pretended to walk away!

Then of course, there's Cairo. From Sharm it's a bit like going on a day trip from London to Edinburgh-two hours each way if you fly (cost £200), or six hours each way by coach for £100.

But the pyramids, the sphinx, the priceless gold Tutankhamun exhibits at the Cairo Museum, the sheer teeming mass of mad humanity and gridlocked traffic that it is the city itself . . . well, it'd be a shame to go to Egypt and not see all that.

Just beware when it comes to catching the flight back to the resort. There were three planeloads waiting at one tiny gate, the screens had gone down and the p.a. system wasn't working. So the fact we got on our plane owed a lot to luck . . . that and being able to vault the barrier and leg it to the aircraft steps!

Still, never a dull moment on holiday in Sharm. As a resort it ticks all the boxes: It's quirky, has year-round sun, good hotels, great excursions, world-class diving . . .

And if you like sand, it's no fake Sheikh!

Getting there

THOMSON offers seven nights all-inclusive at the 5T Reef Oasis Blue Bay Resort and Spa from £776 per adult, based on two sharing.

Price includes flights from Gatwick on July 15, in-resort transfers and all taxes and charges.

For more information or to book, visit www.thomson.co.uk or call 0871 231 3235.

• SHAR-MING!

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