Ditching fling girl's hard work

DEAR JANE: IN a moment of weakness I had sex with a girl at work. Now she's turned nasty and is threatening to shoot off her mouth. How do I get out of this?

didn't take much notice of this woman when she first started working on our team. She's sexy, but kept herself to herself. So imagine how shocked I was when I got a text from her one day suggesting we became sex buddies.

She followed it up with a couple of highly suggestive emails. I asked her if she was serious, and she said her husband worked away most of the time and she wanted some fun.

I quite fancied her but my partner had just had a baby, so I told her it couldn't happen. I thought that would be an end to it but a few weeks later she started bombarding me with sexy texts and emails again.

She even sent me a photograph of her most intimate body part.

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I tried ignoring her but it was difficult, as I saw her most days at work. What made it even more difficult was my partner was suffering from post- natal depression, and not only had we not had sex for weeks, she wouldn't even talk to me half the time.



Sometimes I felt very lonely and maybe that was why I became more friendly with this girl. We started going to lunch together and I found myself confiding in her about my partner.

That was when she told me her husband was away, and invited me back to her place one evening after work. I knew it was a mistake, but I went.

We were hardly through the door when she was all over me. We didn't even make it to the bedroom-we had sex on the floor of the lounge and I admit it felt good.

I felt like the lowest of the low afterwards though, and told this woman it must never happen again. To my dismay she threw a wobbly and accused me of using her, and more or less said she'd make our affair public knowledge if I backed off now.

She was like a real bunny boiler. I am in despair-and my partner has been so down lately. I don't know what to do for the best.

JANE SAYS: DO not let her blackmail you into an affair. Tell her you like her as a friend but what happened was a mistake, and if you hadn't been going through a tough time you would never have taken up her invitation.

I cannot believe she'd be callous enough to tell a sick woman that she's had a one night stand with her man. Concentrate on getting your partner well again. The Meet A Mum Association (MAMA) runs local support groups and gives advice on PND. Call them on 0845 120 6162.

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DEAR JANE: MY boyfriend likes women, and has many female friends. Nothing wrong with that but then a couple of months ago one of these friends walked out on her husband and moved from the Army barracks where they were living back to our town.

She's now taken to meeting up with my boyfriend at least once a week for cosy chats and drinks-and even gave him an expensive present for his birthday.

I feel threatened by her as I would never dream in a million years of behaving like that with another man but when I told my boyfriend this he went ballistic. He said it was all innocent and it was me who had the problem-yet he seems reluctant to let me meet her. I felt quite upset by his reaction and I don't know how to handle this.

JANE SAYS: HE'S insensitive if he can't understand why you feel like this.

He is keeping part of his life a secret from you, and if it's as innocent as he says he should have no objection to you meeting her. Tell him you'd like to share his friends, and arrange an occasion-a party perhaps-when you can meet up. If he refuses to let you meet her, he has something to hide.

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DEAR JANE: MY wife took our two young children on holiday to Africa to meet her family, and since she's been back she has received a number of text messages from an ex she met up with while she was there.

I read one, which said she was the best lover he'd ever had-and that he cannot stop loving her.

She has denied having an affair but I cannot accept that and I feel so worried and scared. We make love but just for the sake of it-as I think she is fake. She tries to show me she loves me, but I cannot get it out of my mind that she has cheated.

What can I do?

JANE SAYS: WHEN she met up with him again he might have flirted with her or even tried to win her back but it doesn't necessarily mean she got it on with him. His texts could be referring to the past.

Whatever the truth, he's no threat as he lives thousands of miles away-so give her the benefit of the doubt and believe her.

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