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Jade vows to wed her lover
BRAVE Jade insists she will marry Jack Tweed-even though her disease could mean they will never make love.
"He hasn't formally proposed yet but we've been talking about it for months," she says. "There's just an acceptance that it's going to happen.
Jade Goody's emotional cancer interview - Pt.2
"And no, there isn't a ring-although I did say to him I could buy one while he was inside and he could pay me when he gets out. But he wasn't having that.
Click here to read about Jade's fear for her young sons
"Which is a shame, because at least if I choose it now I know I'll get the ring I want.
"But Jack says he wants to be with me when we do it. And you know what? I'm glad he does."
Photos & video: Peter Powell and Brian Roberts
That day should come this week. Jack- sentenced to 18 months jail for attacking a 16-year-old boy with a golf club last September-is about to to be freed early.
He will have to wear an electronic tag, linked to his parents' house in Essex, and will be on a strict curfew.
For the first time since we started talking, I see Jade genuinely happy.
Her eyes are twinkling and she's excited because a wedding is something most 27-year-old girls get excited about.
Just talking about it makes her feel normal, just making plans for the future allows her to push this cancer to the back of her head, if only for a few minutes.
"When I visited Jack in jail he told me he'd had a fantastic idea for a way to propose-and then he blew it by telling me. But it WAS romantic.
"He said he wanted to take me to the Seven Wonders of the World and ask me to marry him at each of them. I told him that as he'd spoiled the surprise he'd have to think of something even more romantic."
Photos & video: Peter Powell and Brian Roberts
It's been hard for Jade to plan a wedding while she has been in and out of hospital and Jack has been serving his sentence.
"I don't know exactly when we'll do it but it will be sooner rather than later-because I might not have long.
"But I don't want to rush this. Marriage means a lot to me. I'm not a Britney that just goes to LA and does it.
"I only want to get married once and I want it to be perfect. I don't want a big princess wedding. I've got my unique little ceremony worked out in my head."
Which is? "I want to get married twice-once here and once in another country. But I'm not saying where."
If nothing else this wedding is a focus for Jade, something else to think about other than the cancer.
"I know Jack's had a bad press and I know we've had some really bad patches but the bottom line is that I love him and there's no doubt in my mind he loves me. I need him now more than ever."
Jade says she could never marry anyone who didn't love her boys. "And Jack does. That's what wonderful for me. He deserves huge credit for the way he's included Freddie and Bobby into his life.
Photos & video: Peter Powell and Brian Roberts
"He's been on the phone to them from prison pretending he's in Africa fighting lions and tigers. He doesn't care that there are seven lags behind him in the queue for the phone taking the mickey.
He does sweet things for the boys-and me. On Mother's Day he buys presents for me and says they're from them. Their own dad has never done that.
"And Jack is the only man I've ever known who has actually paid for a holiday out of his own money to surprise me. I've always been the one in a relationship who has paid for everything."
The couple met just over two years ago. Jade actually brought him into the Big Brother House. I remember thinking how sweet they were together but I wasn't sure if it would last because Jack was so young and Jade was so strong.
Photos & video: Peter Powell and Brian Roberts
But even though they've had rocky patches and time apart amid rumours of other women, the pair have never been able to stay away from each other for long.
"You know, when we split up he was offered £40,000 to spill the beans on our relationship," she says. "But he wouldn't do it. And at that stage he had no idea we'd ever get back together.
"I won't pretend I don't worry that Jack is only 21 and even though he tells me he won't want kids of his own in the future, the fact is he might.
"It kills me that I can't give him children because even though I love Freddie and Bobby to distraction I would have loved a little girl.
"You see, I still believe there's a little girl inside me that just wants to live the life I never had-a pretty, fun life filled with everything that is wonderful.
"As a child I just got dragged up and I wanted to do better by a little girl of my own. I wanted to buy her pretty dresses and rag roll her hair but," she says, laughing, "I'll just have to settle for rag rolling Freddie and Bobby's hair."
Photos & video: Peter Powell and Brian Roberts
Jade knows there will be people who will say she shouldn't be getting married-especially to Jack-and that she should just be concentrating on getting well.
"But I really want this to work with Jack," she says. "I feel this whole thing has brought us closer. And if we don't work after all we've been through then I swear he'll be out the door for good with a Christian Laboutin stiletto in his head.
"But I think he's changed a lot. I hope he has. His best friend told me recently that when he'd said to Jack he couldn't wait for him to get out so they could go drinking together, Jack told him all he wanted to do was lie in the middle of a field with me looking up at the sky.
"And that means a lot to me. It tells me he's grown up. As for the wedding-I'm going to wait till my treatment's finished and my hair's grown back before we do that because I want to look my best.
"In the meantime, I just can't wait to have someone to cuddle, to grab hold of me when I'm scared and say: "You know what girl-you're gonna be fine."
Despite her illness, Jade is desperate for them to have a full and proper marriage . . . and yearns for a sex life despite what the cancer has done to her body.
"Do you have any idea what it's like to hear him (her doctor) say that I might never be able to make love again or have intercourse because the treatment means I could completely close up inside?" she asks.
Photos & video: Peter Powell and Brian Roberts
"The doctors have told me that because of the radiation, the chemo and the ops there's a chance I could completely close up which would make intercourse impossible. I couldn't believe it. I kept thinking, what else can that man up there throw at me?
"I've never been the kind of girl who's slept around and I haven't had loads of lovers. But the thought that at the age of 27 I might never again be able to enjoy a sex life scares me to death.
"I'm in love with Jack for God's sake. I want to get married and how can I do that if I can't ever make love to him?"
Photos & video: Peter Powell and Brian Roberts
It's because of what the doctors told her that Jade initially made the heartbreaking decision to set free long time boyfriend Jack.
"I told him to walk away," says Jade. "I told him to go make a new life with someone who could give him kids.
"I said he could stay around as a friend if he wanted to but I couldn't be with him because it just wasn't fair.
"Hell, I was going through the menopause at 27. Telling him to go was one of the hardest things I've ever had to do but I meant it. I couldn't see why he'd want to stay with someone who's going through what I'm going through.
"But he was amazing. He told me I was his life and he loved my kids and he wasn't going anywhere. But I'm still nervous about what it's going to be like the first time we try to make love. I'm scared it's going to hurt.
"I'm scared my bald head is going to put him off. I've totally lost my confidence and I feel like a virgin again. But then I keep thinking it'll be all right because it's Jack. She starts to laugh.
"And maybe I'll wear wigs for him. If he wants a blonde I'll be a blonde. If he wants a redhead, I'll be a redhead."
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This article has 35 comments
I feel sorry for your unfortunate state :( i hope it gets better :D
By Dorethy. Posted February 27 2009 at 2:57 PM.
Hey Jade,
You look great, keep fighting, it's not over until it's over.Am sure your lovely boys will never forget you. God bless you.
By Maureen Okereke. Posted February 25 2009 at 10:52 AM.
dear jade,
I send healing thoughts and prayers your way. May Gaod guides always though His golden energy with love and light.
I am High Hope!!
By hope and prayer. Posted February 22 2009 at 10:37 PM.
dear jade,
I send healing thoughts and prayers your way.
May God guide you always through His golden energy.
with love and light.
I am High Hope!!
By hope and prayer. Posted February 22 2009 at 10:39 PM.
well,this life is full of mysteries that you just cant explain why?but only GOD kwns everytin,to jade what welldone,may ur soul be accepted in heaven in Jesus name. amen.
By destiny. Posted February 22 2009 at 7:51 PM.
Jade you are a fantastic young lady and I am full of admiration for you and your plight. You have inspired so many people in your life with your honesty that I think that you deserve a medal. Enjoy the rest of your life and especially your very special wedding day. I have just had a small op myself in the nether regions and am OK. It seems so unfair as I am in my fourties and have no kids (I wish I could swap places with you), although I have an Old horse, old cat, old dog and an old boyfriend that I am sure would miss me, even if it was only at feeding time. I am sending you a huge hugg over the WWW and wishing you Gods Speed. Please remember all the people you have given inspiration to in your prayers as we remember you in ours. x
By Kathy x. Posted February 20 2009 at 2:27 AM.
Hi Jade,
It is sad to hear of your news. Just wanted to wish you all the best and thinking and praying for you to get better. Just to let you know that your appearance in the Lincoln Panto "snow white" Was brilliant - and you did fab considering how ill you were. Well Done!!
Take care Jade, Thinking of you
By Laila. Posted February 16 2009 at 11:42 PM.
Dear Jade,
I can only express my deepest admiration for you and the way you are handling this tragic situation in such a public yet so very touching way. Your openess and bravery are remarkable but, I do think its about time you stop thinking about what others may think of you and what you're doing, and concentrate on you and your feelings - the show will go on regardless of whatever HE has in store for you, and now more than ever, it is important that you realise that love will conquer all - I'm sure that by forgiving those close to you, you have already come to that realisation, however, acquaint yourself with the deepest love that you may come to experience forever and that same love shall give you the strenght and peace to face what is to come and prepare those around you for the most important legacy you may yet leave behind you - the ever lasting love that will remain with those whose lives have been touched by your presence.
If, in the midst of all that is going on you still find the time and motivation to read something, I would like you to read: "The Shack" by WM Paul Young, as whatever the future holds for you, I'm sure this book may offer some answers to the questions you've been asking The Man up there!
Whatever may come to happen I wish you and your family all the very best.
Sincerely,
x
PS - if you feel like mailing back instead of reading the book, I will gladly sum it up for you. x
By Ana D. Posted February 16 2009 at 11:21 PM.
jade you are a gem . what you are going thru must be hell. what you are doing is amazing . i lost my dad to cancer i loved him to bits , im sure your familys love for you is everlasting and true and your beautifull boys will love you forever . my love is with you all barb xxx
By barb. Posted February 16 2009 at 10:19 PM.
I have been so moved by Jade's bravery, she is such a fighter and an inspiration to us all. Good luck to her for trying to get as much money out of the publicity to protect her son's future without her. I would love to put my arms around her and give her a great big kiss and tell her everything will be alright, even if it isn't! I pray she will make it to her wedding day, bless her she deserves it. God bless her darling children too x
By Pam. Posted February 16 2009 at 6:25 PM.
Jade I love you whole heartedly and it's really sad to see you going through so much, If only I can make your pains go away I will. Sometimes I ask why you but, then again who am I to ask that. I am hoping and praying all goes well, It must be absolutely heartbreaking what you are going through right now. I hope everthing turn out to what you want it to be, this is life anything is possible, stay strong my girl you will always be in my prayers, love you and the boys take care bye.
By Manelva Perkins. Posted February 10 2009 at 10:48 AM.
Jade i am keeping everything crossed for you and your lovely boys. I am now having my first smear test after putting it off , now 31! i have a 4 year old and a 4 month old and understand fully you living out your cancer in the press to build a future for your children.
By Kirsty. Posted February 9 2009 at 10:10 AM.
Good luck Jade, after everything that has happened in the news, media etc, its great to see that people still have such compassion for one another. I really hope you pull through, stay strong and keep looking beautiful!! Good luck,xxx
By katie. Posted February 8 2009 at 2:16 PM.
good luck jade, and as so many well wishers have already said on here you look beautiful without your hair. it must be very hard for you to talk about your cancer and i can tell you from now your a braver person that me cause i just would not have the courage to do it, so well done, chin up, although i feel for you i have no idea what you are going through but my thoughts are still with you and your family / sons. i have 4 children and it must be hell thinking that you may leave then behind but with so many people wishing you luck i'm sure and hope to god you will pull this from this nasty thing. good luck jade, take care and god bless
By christine. Posted February 8 2009 at 9:01 AM.
you are so beautiful, strong and brave... i hope that you can pull through this bad time so you can look forward to the good times ahead in the future. take care x
By Carmel Harrison. Posted January 20 2009 at 6:10 PM.
Dear Jade,
You look still beautiful believe me no matter if you have hair or not! You are a beautiful young woman in the outside and even in the inside and I amire you so much!!! keep on being strong, I can imagine that it is a very hard battle for you but in the end you will win it believe me! The germans have a saying...dont let your head down Jade, never! You have a man who loves you, a mother that cares for you and two lovely little boys who need you!!!! You will overcome it Jade no matter how hard! You are always in my prayers Jade. I wish you a big good luck from all my heart, god bless you dear Jade.
By Eleanor. Posted January 19 2009 at 12:48 PM.
What a story, jade the only thing l can tell u is have a faith in god, with god all things are possible, the only thing u need is prayer, doctor/nurse are just saying there own but god is the miracle, be bless
By tony leye. Posted January 19 2009 at 1:45 AM.
Jade god bless you pet you are strong and have loads off courage and great strenth my love i have watch you growing since the first big brother your a really nice girl and your boys will be so pround off you pet as you have got two wonderfull sons im sure you and jack will be very happy when you tie the knot just spend your time together hun doing want you want pet all the very best jade thinking off you pet from sandra xxxx god bless you xxxx
By sandra. Posted January 19 2009 at 1:29 AM.
Jade, keep fighting hun!! I've loved you since day 1 in the BB house, and have loved you all the way. Hugs and kisses to you, Jack and the boys. X x X x X x X
By Sofee - Liverpool. Posted January 18 2009 at 10:21 PM.
you still look pretty and have a sparkle in your eyes despite everything ! i had chemo 4 years ago and know exactly how you feel as i have 2 young children, but it does get better with time!
i hope things go well for you keep smiling !!!
also lucy who posted the rather nasty post needs to get a life and obviously dosen't know how having cancer feels or she would have kept her silly remarks to herself !!!!!!!!
By sarah. Posted January 18 2009 at 9:13 PM.
stay strong ... you are a very special lady . we wish you loads of love sweetheart .
By nikki and stu. Posted January 18 2009 at 9:13 PM.
Jade, May you get the courage and strength you need from your 2 beautiful boys to fight your battle and allow you to be the mother that your children need.
God bless and take care xxxx
By maura. Posted January 18 2009 at 5:04 PM.
Jade, i am sat in tears after reading your amazing and courageous story. You are an inspiration to other sufferers.You look really beautiful.God bless and Good Luck in your fight against this awful disease.xx
By linda. Posted January 18 2009 at 4:19 PM.
Jade you are so brave, and your story is beautiful you are also very beautiful. I wish you the very best of luck and you will survive!
What a fantastic mother, people will look up to you.
By Hibs. Posted January 18 2009 at 3:47 PM.
Thinking of you Jade and wishing you well.
I think you look beautiful and elegant.
Keep strong.
By Kate T. Posted January 18 2009 at 3:41 PM.
Jade is a insperation to all cancer patients, she is looking forward to things slowley and thinking about her children all the way!!! i would never know what to say to my young son but jade is doing all the right things! im hoping and praying a good recoverey is on the books!!! good luck jade#!!!!!
By lauren. Posted January 18 2009 at 2:55 PM.
I JUST DOUBT IF JACK REALLY WANTS TO MARRY THAT DESPERATE DUMBO! HE'S ONLY 21 AND IT'S NONSENSE!
By Lucy. Posted January 18 2009 at 12:49 PM.
it touched my heart to read your story,if i was your mother i would be so proud of you,you have the love and the strength to help you through this,god bless you jade.
By jenny. Posted January 18 2009 at 12:48 PM.
dont MARRY THAT ANAIMAL PLEASE JADE BABE
By richard. Posted January 18 2009 at 12:17 PM.
you look really beautiful jade,i lost my dad to cancer when i was young and i have never and will never forget him,it is 20 years on and i still think of him every day.make sure you give you kids great memories,then they will never forget you if the worst happens.but i have a feeling that you will be just fine god bless.
By beverly. Posted January 18 2009 at 12:01 PM.
wat strength u hav jade i wish u all the very best in getting through this horrible illness gd luck 2 u and ur 2 boys.u look great
By liz. Posted January 18 2009 at 11:50 AM.
Well done to a very brave person, not many people like her , but i've always had admiration for Jade. for her to speak out about her cancer is very brave, as they say a problem shared is a problem halved. Good luck for the future as you have always been a fighter.
GOOD LUCK YOU WILL HAVE A FIGHT ON YOUR HANDS BUT YOU WILL BE THE VICTOR
By frances. Posted January 18 2009 at 11:44 AM.
What a fantastic story.
Jade is so brave.
She looks so beautiful, without her hair. I can't imagine anyone would be able to speak out about her telling us her story, how scared she is for her boys and the future. If they do, they are just not all there.
Even though you probably don't feel it, you have amazing strength.
Maybe now god will now look after you as he should so that you can do all the things you want with your boys and Jack.
By Lou Lou. Posted January 18 2009 at 10:17 AM.
you look lovely jade, not to many people are as strong as you are ,jack loves you for that, we all like you for that courage, you will be fine, god bless you.
By thandiwe dube. Posted January 18 2009 at 9:29 AM.
what a story , i hope for jade and her children's sake she comes through this, she deserve's it , god bless jade
By margaret. Posted January 18 2009 at 8:05 AM.