Escape your jingle hell this Christmas!

JINGLE HELL 1: THE CREDIT-CRUNCH CHRISTMAS

You took a pay cut this year, but everyone else is splashing the cash - your boyfriend's planning a mulled wine party, your best mate's plumping for a spa sesh - and how do you break it to your sister that you can't get her the latest iPod?

Ring the changes: First, stop panicking - even if the recession hasn't hit your nearest and dearest, everyone knows how tough things are. "I bet some of your friends will be secretly relieved if you suggest less-pricey alternatives," says Sarah Pennells, money expert and editor of Savvywoman.co.uk. "Start by working out what you can afford, then make lists to prioritise your spending. Next, get the people close to you on side. Your boyfriend and friends will surely understand you're making cutbacks."

Now, work on getting the most out of every penny. Sarah says: "If you're entertaining, confirm numbers first so you don't end up buying too much food. Make use of vouchers and offers - check out Captaincash.co.uk - and for anything lavish like spa breaks look for 2-4-1 deals on Lastminute.com".

And as for presents, Sarah says there's nothing better than hunting down a bargain in charity shops, vintage boutiques or on eBay. "Nobody needs to know that those awesome '70s bangles only cost 50p!"

Don't go Christmas crackers this year!

JINGLE HELL 2: THE PARENTAL GUILT TRIP

You've agreed to spend Christmas with your boyfriend's parents, but your mum is playing the martyr. How do you stop your parents feeling like second best and banish the guilt you're feeling?

Ring the changes: "You can be as fair and reasonable as you like, but you can't make anyone feel anything - that's up to them," says psychotherapist Gladeana McMahon. She recommends this three-step plan: 1. Empathise by saying: "Yes, I know it's a shame we won't be there." 2. Explain with: "I'm in a relationship now and this means I can't always do what I'd choose." 3. Compromise with a suggestion such as: "We'll spend Boxing Day with you."

To get rid of those lingering feelings of guilt, Gladeana suggests a technique called 'friending yourself'. Talk to yourself like your best friend would - what would she say to you about how you're feeling? It's a much less critical voice.

JINGLE HELL 3: THE HOLIDAY HASH-UP

The last two years you've covered for your boss between Christmas and New Year, so you thought it was safe to let your boyfriend book a cottage in the country this year. But now you're expected to work... help!

Ring the changes: "Have you spoken to your boss? They'll just be focusing on getting the rota filled and might assume that because you've worked the last couple of holidays, you're happy to do so again," says Sarah. Your best approach is to negotiate. "First, state your concern plainly by saying: 'I know I should have brought this up sooner, but I made the mistake of assuming that because I've worked the holiday for two years running, I'd be off this year.'" Sarah advises.

Second, suggest a plan B. "Say: 'I'm hoping that perhaps X or Y could cover this role, if I leave clear handover notes.'" Third, swallow your pride and suck up to your boss! Sarah says: "Highlight how much your job comes first and add: 'So if this isn't possible I'll come in, but I'd be eternally grateful if you could help me find a solution.'"

However, don't push it too hard. "If you didn't get your leave cleared you're in a fairly weak position legally," warns Sarah. "Most employment contracts state that you have to get authorisation for any holiday you take." You're asking for a favour, so if it isn't forthcoming, you should stop trying - otherwise you may risk taking home your P45 for Christmas!

One in 20 people think Christmas is more stressful than going through a divorce*

JINGLE HELL 4: THE NIGHTMARE REUNION

Months ago you agreed to go to an old school friend's reunion party on Boxing Day. That was before you were made redundant, got dumped by your boyfriend and piled on 12lb. Now you'd rather spend the evening under a rock, but a no-show isn't an option.

Ring the changes: We all feel the pressure to be perfect versions of ourselves at Christmas, but you can't escape life's ups and downs just because it's December, and avoiding social situations will only make you feel worse.

"Refuse to swallow the myth that you 'just need time' to get over things," says Gladeana. "If you're insecure about a situation, for whatever reason, do something to boost your confidence before the event. Buy a new dress, have a haircut, or even go to the gym for a workout.

"Then focus on the positives of the evening. Aren't you curious what people have been up to since you left school and how they've turned out? Isn't this a good way to rekindle old friendships? At the very least, you'll get some great gossip."

You might feel that every conversation is a dead-end, but a little bit of confidence can go a long way.

Gladeana says: "Never underestimate how much people love talking about themselves. Ask them about their dream travel destinations or what they think of Strictly and no one will notice you haven't mentioned your situation."

JINGLE HELL 5: THE BOOZY BEST MATE

She always assumes you're up for a massive booze-athon in December, but you don't want to deal with the hangovers this year. How do you avoid being labelled a party pooper?

Ring the changes: "If it bothers someone that you're not smashed, it's their problem," says Gladeana. Even so, you don't want to spend all evening explaining yourself, so choose sparkling water with lime - everyone will assume it's a G&T.

Or try going to the bar when people are past noticing what everyone else is drinking. But if your mate is demanding you match her drink for drink, either brush her off with: "I had a big night last night and can't face it," or come clean with: "I'm trying to reduce my drinking and I'd appreciate your help."

Gladeana says: "This way she's given the opportunity to help you," says Gladeana. "Only a poor friend would refuse."

And nobody can call you a party pooper when you're having fun - however sober you are. Sit miserably sipping mineral water and you'll get people buying you shots of tequila!

JINGLE HELL 6: THE DIET AMBUSH

Your mum won't be happy unless you have seconds of everything - but you're going on holiday in January and don't want your Christmas dinner showing on the beach. What to do?

Ring the changes: "One of the greatest sources of Christmas stress is the sense of obligation," says chartered clinical psychologist Kathleen Cox. "Remind yourself it's your choice whether to eat or not and simply smile, say it was absolutely delicious but you're just too full for any more." Or box clever and get your mum onside beforehand. "Tell her in advance that you're on a healthy eating plan and it would really mean a lot to you if she supported you," suggests Gladeana. "If need be, offer to share the cooking and either bring specific dishes with you so you know how healthy they are, or offer to do some of the cooking yourself so you can monitor the calories. She'll be so pleased you helped out she won't care how much you wolf down!"

PHOTOGRAPHY: ALAMY, SCOPE BEAUTY FINANCIAL BLISS BY SARAH PENNELLS (PRENTICE HALL LIFE, £9.99) POSITIVE PSYCHOLOGY FOR DUMMIES BY GLADEANA MCMAHON AND AVERIL LEIMON (JOHN WILEY, £15.99) VISIT GLADEANA'S WEBSITE AT GLADEANAMCMAHON.COM *ACCORDING TO MOTHERATWORK.CO.UK

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