THE FOREVER BACHELORS
They’re sexy, single and sadly they are staying that way. Meet the men who can never find a woman good enough to keep
'I DON'T NEED A WOMAN TO COMPLETE ME'
Robin Lander Brinkley, 31, lives in Portsmouth, where he owns and runs a PR and marketing company.
"I have never been in a serious, long-term relationship, and I have no plans to be.
I don't believe in having a relationship just for the sake of it.
The last time I went out with someone properly was more than 10 years ago, when I was at university. I dated a girl for a couple of months, but it didn't work out. She wanted us to spend all of our time together and it just made me feel trapped.
I certainly don't miss out on female company. I enjoy being with intelligent and interesting women, but it rarely goes beyond a couple of dates. I like sharing my bedroom occasionally, but I couldn't do it all the time and I don't like the idea of someone else always being there.
My parents split up when I was 22. It caused a lot of hurt for my mum and younger sister, and I suppose that has affected my attitude - I'm wary of causing anyone that sort of pain.
A lot of my friends have settled down - I've already been to seven weddings this year. At one of them, I was the only person on my own. Looking around at all these couples holding hands, just made me feel a bit nauseous! I'm sure they thought that I was missing out on something special, but I genuinely don't feel that I need someone else to make my life complete.
The only potential downside of not wanting a relationship is that I might miss out on having children, which would be a great shame. But I'm godfather to a lovely little girl, Emily, aged seven, and a lot of my friends have children who I enjoy spending time with.
I think men like Gerard Butler have got it absolutely right. He's clearly very happy with his life, is surrounded by great friends, and dates women when he feels like it, without feeling pressure from anyone to settle down. And that's exactly what my life is like."
'I ADORE WOMEN BUT I'M MARRIED TO MY JOB'
Celebrity hairdresser Stuart Phillips, 40, runs an exclusive salon in London's Covent Garden, and lives in Essex. He's been single for two years.
"People assume that because I'm a hairdresser, I'm gay. But nothing could be further from the truth!
I was married for 12 years, but at 38, I realised it wasn't for me. Thankfully we didn't have kids, as that would have made things more complicated.
So I'm a born-again bachelor, and I adore women. I'm out most nights, partying and meeting new people. I enjoy showing women a good time - I just don't want to settle down. I'm married to my job and it comes first.
I live happily on my own in my beautiful home. It's a modern bachelor pad with a state-of-the-art home cinema and loads of gadgets. A woman would only want to come in and stamp her mark on it, and I don't want that.
I'm more than comfortable with my own company, and if I've had a long day at work, I just want to go home, close the door and relax.
For me, life is about spending time with friends, male and female. Like many successful people, tying myself down to just one person is not what I want."
'WOMEN JUST WANT TO TIE YOU DOWN'
Businessman John Mulkerrin, 39, has been single for three years. He lives in south London with his prized collection of superbikes.
"Sometimes I wake up in the morning and think: 'By tonight, I want to be sipping a cold beer in St Tropez.' So I hop on my bike and I'm away. For me, marriage and a family would curb the lifestyle I love.
I have no trouble finding girlfriends. I'm very romantic and I love whisking women off for expensive meals and weekends away.
But I make it clear from the outset that marriage is not on the cards.
I hope women won't read this and think I'm an absolute s***. It's just that I have my life worked out - I'm perfectly able to cook and clean for myself and I love my freedom.
My determination to stay single probably stems from my earlier experiences. Until I was 28 I dated just three women, including a woman I was engaged to for eight years. While I was with her, I had two exciting offers to work abroad, but she wanted me to turn them down. I felt suffocated.
So I split up with her and travelled round Asia. I was in Thailand when the tsunami hit in 2004. Seeing the aftermath of that tragedy made me realise that life's too short not to follow your heart. It also made me decide to set up my business, which finds funding for charity.
My mum is desperate for me to settle down, like my siblings. But I take no notice. I think I'm a good uncle, but I'm always happy to hand my nephew and nieces back! It would be nice to have kids of my own one day - but work would have to calm down first.
I know I'm not getting any younger, but I genuinely want to do something worthwhile to help others before I look for a partner."
PHOTOGRAPHY: JAMIE HUGHES, LANDMARK, ASSOCIATED PRESS, BIGPICTURESPHOTO.COM GROOMING: CAROLINE PIASECKI, SAM LAVERY AT TIME AGENCY
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This article has 12 comments
im 25 and just tonight i got the usual, *so hows the love life questions* why cant people understand that u dont have to be in a relationship to be happy. i think theyre the ones losing out and desperate. i love my life, its everyone else who should take a look at themselves once in a while. i liked this article.
By laura.. Posted October 25 2009 at 6:11 AM.
i found this very interesting to read, i feel exactly the same way, im stuck in a relationship i wanna be out of as i feel happier on my own miss my freedom etc. good on you!
By rachel.. Posted October 20 2009 at 12:57 PM.
haha
I went on a date with John. He is full of it. I'm sure he'd love to settle down. He was so loud on the date I had to shush him; thats even embarrasing to say; but he was that bad I went shush.. I was mortified. He shouts so loud and wants everyone to hear him; it really put me off him.
Hes not bad looking in reality but he is also hiding something else which "some " women would find offputting; ( Im not going to say what as its not fair to him) this wasnt the reason I didnt go on a second date ; he was just annoying and loud and very cocky. Im not that surprised he is single.
By anon.. Posted October 20 2009 at 12:55 AM.
i too feel the same as them, i was married for 10 years but i am much happier on my own, no one elses feelings to worry about and not feeling guilty eyeing up attractive women etc. my advice to people is stay single dont have kids just have fun
By richard.. Posted October 19 2009 at 6:42 PM.
whats all this nonsense they want to stay single none of them are any catch or lovers young dreamthey are the kind of men i steer clear of with a vengance
By jade.. Posted October 18 2009 at 5:52 PM.
Yes I can understand these guys...but can guys u understand that there are women like them too. I am 51, single, totally self sufficient and am not looking to share my life with a guy fulltime. Life is too busy for both males and females to fully commit, part-time relationships work for me, as there are no expectations, just good times.
By Sandy Walmsley age 51 and single.. Posted October 18 2009 at 5:25 PM.
Good for them and all who think like them! Why should anyone have to live a life which is incompatible with their personality just because 'society' says so?
I personally have never had a relationship and don't want one. And that suits me fine.
By Agnetha.. Posted October 18 2009 at 5:21 PM.
this is a good article and it`s interesting to read about the lifestyle and views of these guys here.
Too many people are in-or stay in, unhappy / unfulfilling relationships and I find it refreshing to read an alternative to that.
good for you, i say!
By jaycee2.. Posted October 18 2009 at 10:07 AM.
why do all these men think women want to tie them down??
By leigh.. Posted October 18 2009 at 9:04 AM.
Sure married and in solid relationship people will look down on these guys!
I'm 28 and have a young child. I'm not with his dad in a serious way as I don't do marriage or living together. I love my boy and I love his dad. If I split with his dad 100% - I know wouldn't be interested in anyone else. I'm practically single anyhow as his dad works abroad and we see him couple times in a year.
It ticks me off though how people say should have a more stable partner. That I'll be lonely and so on. Like what??!! I'm very happy as I am thanks! Do my own thing, clear my own mess (and my boy's) as well as all the other bonuses of being solo.
Yet still we seen as odd people and are classed as emotionally stunted or loners etc!
By Single & Happy!!.. Posted October 18 2009 at 8:44 AM.
Can I just say that, as a woman, I completely understand how you guys think. I have been "single" for seven years now (I'm nearly 30)and do not have any desire to settle down. Not that I can see into the future, but I'll probably spend the next 30 years the same way, and love every minute of it. I don't think that this way of living is male-specific. Good on you for being true to yourself - not everyone was born to get married and have kids, work in the same job for fifty years, live in the same town you grew up in, and then spend retirement playing bowls every weekend and mowing the lawn every second day because you never bothered to have a life while working and raising your family and now, consequently, don't know what to do with yourself (ie my parents, who, thankfully, have just discovered travelling). I think that as long as you don't hurt anyone, you should do whatever it is you want. Good on you!
By Raye.. Posted October 18 2009 at 2:20 AM.
Good for them! Not everyone is a Bridget Jones weeping for hours to find a partner! They shake off a lot of baggage without partners, like being constantly snogged and parent in laws!
By Sophie.. Posted October 17 2009 at 10:17 PM.