WHAT’S YOUR STROP STYLE?
Britain is at boiling point. Whether you erupt in anger or sulk in silence, here’s how to rule your rage
Never mind swine flu - the real epidemic sweeping the country is anger. According to a new survey, Brits are the angriest people in Europe*. And figures from the Mental Health Foundation say one in four of us has an anger problem. So, what's with the attitude?
"Life is now more demanding than ever," says Mike Fisher, director of the British Association Of Anger Management. "As a result, we've gone from being a nation of imploders - turning anger inwards - to a nation of exploders, screaming and shouting."
But constantly reaching boiling point can be disastrous for your health. "It makes you more prone to high blood pressure, heart problems, IBS and even cancer," says Mike.
Here's how to tame that temper...
Now identify the colour you've picked the most and read on to find out what it says about you...
ANGER STYLE: DOORMAT
Seriously, you may as well have 'welcome' printed on your forehead. You're so worried about other people, you feel guilty if you're angry and you blame yourself for feeling bad. Without anger to fuel change in your life, you put up with things for far too long - whether it's a dripping tap or a toxic relationship.
TIME TO... EMBRACE YOUR EMOTIONS
"This kind of passive behaviour often stems from a lack of confidence and an ingrained fear that getting angry will alienate people," explains clinical psychologist Gillian Bloxham. "But not addressing your fury causes a rise in the stress hormone cortisol, and puts you at risk of serious health problems like depression and IBS. So it's time to get assertive.
"Practise saying 'no' more often - start with the pushy telesales caller and build up to the ungrateful colleague - and you'll soon realise people won't take offence. Quite the opposite, in fact - people will gain respect for you, those closest to you will probably feel relieved you're finally standing up for yourself, and you'll become more in touch with your anger."
ANGER STYLE: VOLCANO
Just like Mount Etna, you silently simmer on the inside. You sulk and hold grudges, but nobody can predict if and when you might blow. You rarely scream and shout when you see red, but slamming doors and snapping: "I'm fine!" through gritted teeth makes people feel just as bad.
TIME TO... STOP YOUR SEETHING
"This is what experts term 'passive aggression'," explains cognitive behavioural therapist Gladeana McMahon. "People who express rage in this veiled way are either afraid of conflict or are perfectionists who tend to turn their anger inward because they don't want to appear like they're losing control."
They also allow one resentment to build on top of another, which leads to stress and elevated blood pressure. Indeed, 75 per cent of illness reported to GPs is stress-related.
Next time you find yourself sulking or picking at your partner over nothing, stop and ask yourself what you're really angry about - your unfulfilling job? Your too-tight jeans?
"Facing up to the true source of your rage will stop you venting it at the wrong people and is the first step to finding a solution - and a healthier lifestyle," explains Gladeana.
ANGER STYLE: FIREWORK
You have such a short fuse, the slightest thing can set you off, and before you know it you're screaming at traffic lights and ranting at check-out girls. Your idea of listening
is shouting other people down - and if you're having a bad day, you make sure everyone knows about it¿
TIME TO... TAME YOUR TEMPER
"Of all the anger styles, this has the worst impact on your health," warns Gillian. "Chronically elevated levels of adrenaline caused by rage put you at risk of heart problems."
A recent American study found a link between mental stress and sudden cardiac arrest, which leads to more than 400,000 deaths every year. Scary stuff.
"Next time you get angry, distance yourself from the situation," says Gillian. "You don't have to walk away, but just for a second, consciously relax your muscles by taking a deep breath in and out." This will also stop you blurting out something you don't really mean.
"Then, in two calmly spoken sentences, explain how you're feeling and what you would like the outcome to be," continues Gillian. "For example: 'I feel very angry that you wore my top without asking. I want you to return it immediately.' It's all about saying rather than showing your anger. You'll come across as firm and assertive rather than a live wire, and you'll get the results you want without risking your health to get there."
PHOTOGRAPHY: SCOPE BEAUTY *SURVEY BY GOLD BRITISH ASSOCIATION OF ANGER MANAGEMENT(ANGERMANAGE.CO.UK) NO MORE ANGER BY GLADEANA MCMAHON (KARNAC, £12.99)
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