‘I starve myself to be thinner than my sister’
Some sisters compete over men, but Lisa and Marie Vassallo from Lincolnshire are stuck in a cycle of competitive dieting
LISA, 32, WORKS IN AN INVESTMENT BANK AND IS A PART-TIME ACTRESS. SHE'S 5ft 9in, A SIZE 14 AND WEIGHS 10st 7lb.
"When Marie and I split up with our long-term boyfriends in January this year, we moved in together for six months. But instead of crying on each other's shoulders about our love lives, all we talked about was our weight.
We'd step on the scales every morning to see who weighed more. In the evening, we'd give each other detailed lists of what we'd eaten that day. I've since bought my own flat, but our 'food lists' still start on email first thing in the morning and are constantly updated during the day.
It sounds silly, I know, but for the last 10 years we've been locked in a battle to see who can be the thinnest. It's the only thing we compete over, but we're ferocious about it.
I hate it when Marie is slimmer than me. In fact, if I could afford it, I would have liposuction to be thinner than her. I know surgery can be dangerous, but it's a risk worth taking in my opinion.
Of course, it hasn't always been this way.
For the first 20 years of my life, I was the 'thin' one. And while Marie was prettier than me, at least I could take comfort in the fact she was a curvy size 14-16, while I was five inches taller and a willowy size 10.
But my weight changed significantly after I got married when I was just 18. Husband-sized meal portions meant I ballooned. Meanwhile, Marie, who was still living at home, started dieting. Three years later, my marriage was over - I realised I'd married too young.
But even worse, while I was a hefty size 16-18, Marie was just 9st 3lb and a trim size 10. For the first time in my life, I was the fat sister and I hated it.
Back on the single scene again, along with Marie, I knew I'd look like a huge rugby player standing next to my petite, pixie-like sister. She was a magnet for male attention and no one even glanced at me! So I decided to go on an extreme diet. I barely ate, making do with just fruit and vegetables. I hated it, because I love food, but the weight dropped off quickly.
After two months, I'd lost 1st and was down to a size 12. Marie's weight had crept up a bit by then, so she was also a 12. She was so annoyed that she started dieting, too. And that's the way it's been ever since. One of us always lets herself go, then hates that we're fatter than the other, so we diet to be skinnier.
I feel quite down when Marie loses weight, and although I'm not nasty enough to love it when she piles the pounds on, it does make me feel better about myself. If Marie's had less food than me or been to
the gym before work, it does stress me out and I'll stop eating for the rest of the day. If I'm going through a 'fat stage', I obsess a lot more about Marie's weight.
I do get fixated when I'm on a diet. I love it when I feel hunger pains, because I see that as a sign that my body is eating up fat and it spurs me on.
Marie and I tell each other about every pound we lose. If she's beating me, sometimes I'll skip meals or eat nothing but fruit and veg for five days. I'd like to say I get to the stage where I faint with hunger, but I always cave in and eat something before then.
My ex-boyfriend told me I needed to stop competing with Marie and diet and exercise sensibly but it's her weight loss that spurs me on. And it's not just about food - if Marie goes to the gym four times in a week, I'll have to do the same, even though I hate it. I hope we'll never let it get to the point where we're dieting dangerously. I love Marie too much to let her get ill, and she'd stop me if she thought I was developing an eating disorder.
But I know my friends do worry, because I skip meals. Sometimes I can see why they're concerned.
Plenty of nights out, when Marie has been thinner than me, have ended with me going home in tears, because people have been cooing over her weight loss.
I remember last year, when we were on a train going to a concert together - I was 11st
and a size 14-16, while Marie was 10st and a size 12 - a group of drunk lads asked if we were sisters. When we said yes, one said: 'How come one of you is thin and pretty, and the other one isn't?' Marie laughed it off, but I was really hurt - I knew they were referring to me as the one who was fat and ugly.
I went home and thought: 'That's it,' and started another of my extreme diets. Our parents are used to us either crash-dieting or letting ourselves go, so they don't say too much about it.
I moved into my own flat two months ago, but Marie and I still see each other almost every night, and often have dinner together. I can't sabotage her diet by cooking her fattening food, though. She has such strong willpower that she just wouldn't eat it, but I do occasionally leave boxes of chocolates at her house to make it hard for her to resist!
When Marie puts on weight, I'll be the first to tell her, and vice versa. She hates her arms, so I'll tell her they look big. She does the same to me about my stomach, or tells me that I looked better a few months back when I was thin.
Being competitive about weight certainly keeps us on our toes, and if we didn't have that motivation, who knows what size we'd both be!"
MARIE, 30, IS A GRAPHIC DESIGNER. SHE'S 5ft 4in, A SIZE 12 AND WEIGHS 10st.
"I always tell Lisa that when I get married, I won't allow her to be my bridesmaid. And it's not a joke.
Although she's my best friend, she'll have to stay in the background, because I want to be the thin one in the photos. That's just what Lisa and I are like. We love each other to bits, but when it comes to our bodies, we're fierce rivals.
For years I was the one with puppy fat, so when I finally lost weight at 19, I loved being the slimmer sister. Suddenly, I got more attention and I revelled in it. At the time I didn't realise Lisa was jealous, but since then neither of us has been able to diet without the other one joining in.
It's the fear of being the fat, ugly sister that drives us to compete. I always feel dumpy next to Lisa, and because she's so tall she carries any extra weight better than I do. So whenever Lisa announces she's started yet another weight-loss regime, my first thought is: 'Oh no, here we go again'.
Unlike Lisa, I can't skip meals, as I get too hungry. I have to admit I envy her ability to do that, because it seems like she just loses weight without even trying.
Instead, I try to compete by sticking to salads and vegetables for weeks. My ex-boyfriend used to complain, because it meant I didn't want to eat in restaurants in case I gave in to temptation.
When I'm being strict with myself, I'll send Lisa emails all day asking if she's caved in and had any chocolate.
A few years ago, she joined Weight Watchers briefly and I hated it. The weight just dropped off her. At the time I was 11st and a size 14, so I immediately made sure I counted calories, too.
I admit that Lisa and I are obsessed with our competitive dieting, and it's a cycle I can see us being locked into forever.
I have Lisa round to my place for dinner a lot and, I have to confess, I try to sabotage her weight-loss plans. The other day, I sneaked an extra sausage on to her plate and she didn't even notice. Mind you, last week she left a huge cake at my house. I didn't eat it, though - I knew it was a trick!
I tend to have more willpower than Lisa, so I do like to rub it in when I know she's caved in and had some chocolate at work.
And when I go to the gym before work, I'll tell her, just to wind her up.
Because she's tall, Lisa commands so much attention when she walks into a room, so when I'm the fatter sister, I feel almost invisible.
I remember on my 30th birthday, we both had makeovers at our local beauty salon before we went out. But Lisa had been dieting and was a slim size 12. I was only slightly bigger at 10st 7lb and a size 12-14, but compared to her I felt really chubby. It made me so miserable and it took a few drinks for me to give myself a shake and start enjoying myself. I went straight on a diet the next day.
Our friends and family think we're both nuts, but we just laugh about our competitiveness. Who knows? One day, we might be slim at the same time and then we'd both be happy."
PHOTOGRAPHY: LANCTON HAIR & MAKE-UP: SARA BOWDEN STYLING: LUCIE CLIFFORD LISA WEARS: TOP, DEBENHAMS; JEANS, PRIMARK; SHOES, NEW LOOK MARIE WEARS: TOP, DOROTHY PERKINS; NECKLACE, FREEDOM AT TOPSHOP; SHOES, RIVER ISLAND
This article has 6 comments
I have two sisters and I could not imagine wanting either of them to be fat or unhappy in order to make me feel better about myself. I recently lost 3 stone and both of them have been so encouraging and genuinely delighted with the changes this has brought about in my life. It is unthinkable that sisters could be so petty and jealous of each other as to want them to carry weight and a result feel badly about themselves.
They both need to cop on and be grateful for the fact that they are healthy and young together, enjoy each others company and get over their silly issues. I honestly could not believe what i was reading in parts.
By georgi. Posted August 26 2009 at 11:04 AM.
You both definitely need help, rather than competing why not help each other to eliminate the tears a drama? How can you proudly say how you go on crash diets/starve yourself when others who are trying to lose weight may follow you? Its really dangerous and V bad example to follow
No wonder why your weight keeps yo-yo'ing because you arent sticking to a HEALTHY diet and are instead starving yourself!
By Anon. Posted August 25 2009 at 6:13 PM.
I would recommend a nutritionist and a psychologist as both of these girls obviously have very big problem with food (the older one more so) I feel sorry for the man who steps in to this world....
By Jonathan. Posted August 24 2009 at 12:38 PM.
How can you be best friends when neither has the sense to tell the other to stop being an idiot and ruin her own health? Stop competing with one another but support one another. How thin you wanna be? Why not be taller? Smarter? More elegant? I wonder if both fall for the same guy what will happen?!
By SF. Posted August 24 2009 at 3:39 AM.
I think these two sisters need counselling,they should be enjoying each other as sisters not competing with their weight.
By Julie Stevens. Posted August 23 2009 at 9:24 AM.
What a pair of numties..do they realise the damage they're doing their bodies starving it from natural nutrients and more than likely doing long term damage...eat within moderation, exercise,i.e start circuit training and you'll be fit and a healthy size 10!
By Kate. Posted August 22 2009 at 9:16 PM.