'GIRLFRIENDS HAVE TO LOVE BEN TOO'

Tom with his son Ben, nine

Tom Hybert, 29, from Maidenhead, is a graphic designer. He's single and has a son, Ben, nine.

"When I found out I was going to be a dad at 20, I was terrified. I thought people would look down on me for having a child so young. But everything changed when Ben was born.

I was there throughout the labour and cut the umbilical cord. When I held Ben in my arms and he stared at me with his huge eyes, I instantly fell in love. At that moment I was determined to be the best dad I could.

I met Ben's mum, Nikki, at Swansea University where we were both doing media studies. We found out she was pregnant in the summer before our second year. We'd been together less than 12 months and it was a total shock. We decided it was best for her to quit university while I stayed on. I visited her every weekend at her home in Dorset and supported her as best I could, but when Ben was two, we split up. It was really sad, but we'd grown apart. Luckily, it was amicable and I knew Ben would always be a part of my life. I take care of him every weekend and each year we have a boys' holiday at my parents' house in Sweden.

People say guys with kids are a turn-on for women, but I think having Ben puts girls off. Friday and Saturday nights are off-limits, and the future Mrs Hybert has to be up for being a stepmum, which is a big ask. Hopefully, I'll meet someone who's good with children. I love being a dad and would like more kids at some point. By that stage, maybe Ben will be able to babysit!"

'I NEVER KNEW DAD SO MY KIDS MEAN EVERYTHING'

Jason with Lauren and Will

Jason Shankey, 38, from Belfast, owns a chain of male grooming salons with his wife Brenda, 38. They have two children, Lauren, eight, and Will, six.

"My dad died in a car accident when I was two, so I never knew what it was like to have a father. Growing up, I didn't have anyone to kick a football round with or chat to about boys' stuff, so I always felt different. It knocked my confidence and made me shy.

Having my own children meant so much, and when they first called me Dad, I ached with pride. But it also filled me with sadness as it brought home just how much I'd missed out on.

I cherish the time I spend with my children - I love watching them develop their own personalities. Lauren is very active and inquisitive, but Will is more relaxed.

Brenda and I have been married for 10 years, and we're still crazy about each other. We have date nights three times a month when we get a babysitter and go out. I work hard to stay looking good - I moisturise, have facials and keep fit by swimming or playing tennis. But it's not all for Brenda. When the kids grow up, I want them to be proud of their old dad!"

Brenda says: "Even after all these years I think Jason's gorgeous and I can't believe I landed myself such a catch!"

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'I QUIT PARTYING FOR MY DAUGHTER'

Damien with Scarlett, now three

Damien Flood, 36, from Greenwich, London, is a musician. He's single and has a daughter, Scarlett, three.

"Scarlett wasn't planned so it took a while to get used to the idea of having a child. Being a musician, I often didn't know where I'd be from one day to the next. Having children hadn't even crossed my mind.

I didn't know the first thing about babies. I'd never even held one, never mind changed a nappy, so when Scarlett was born I felt completely overwhelmed. She looked so vulnerable and it was scary to think I was responsible for her. Her mum, Alex, needed a Caesarean and had to take it quite easy while she recovered, so I had to get stuck in and help. Now I'm actually pretty good at nappy changing and story reading!

Alex and I split up when Scarlett was one. Our relationship just fizzled out, but we're still good friends and we've tried to make it as easy for Scarlett as possible.

I see her almost every day and put her to bed most nights - even though she lives on the other side of London. I don't want to miss out on anything. Scarlett, Alex and I go out as a family as well. It's not the most conventional arrangement, but it works for us.

I've had to make some major changes to my lifestyle. I used to be a party animal, out five nights a week and not getting to bed until 3am, but who wants to look after a bossy three year old with a hangover?

I'm single, and when the right woman comes along she'll have to accept that I'm a dad, and that Scarlett - and her mum - are part of my life. Scarlett will always be number one. I'm already dreading when she starts dating - I'll be warning her off boys in bands, I know what they're like!"

'I TRY TO STAY FIT FOR MY GIRLS'

Dave with his girls, Mia and Talia

Dave Mendonca, 35, is a sales manager for a footwear company. He's married to his childhood sweetheart, Kelly, 32, and they have two daughters, Mia, four, and Talia, two.

"Kelly and I have been together since we were teenagers. I thought our wedding in 2001 was the happiest day of my life - until Mia arrived four years later. She was followed by Tia in 2007. Having young children is hard work. I try to be a hands-on dad, taking the girls to gymnastics and swimming classes, playing with them and reading them their bedtime stories.

They're always on the go and you need to be fit to keep up with them! I've set up a gym in my garage so I don't have to spend time away from the girls when I want to work out. I'm a bit of a fitness fanatic - but when they get older I'm sure they'll be glad their dad looks so good!

Being a great father means everything to me. My dad left my mum when I was just a few months old. He's never been a part of my life. He did turn up at our house once when I was 13, but Mum told him to go away. She did a fantastic job bringing me up on her own and I've never missed having a dad. However, having two beautiful, healthy children myself, I just can't understand why any father would not want to be around to see their kids grow up."

Kelly says: "Dave is amazing. He spoils me rotten, he adores the kids and he's hot! I love going out and showing him off."

'DIVORCE MADE ME A BETTER DAD'

Derek with Izzy and Martha

Derek Grant, 40, from Brighton, runs a media recruitment company. He's single and has three kids, Izzy, 14, Martha, 12, and Felix, nine.

"I married Alex at 23, and had Izzy at 26. I wanted a girl as I saw from my friends' children what a special relationship dads and daughters have. But after my second girl, Martha, I was ready for a boy, and along came Felix.

Sadly, in 2003 Alex and I divorced. We'd grown apart, but we have a good friendship now. It was tough for a while, but we both wanted to make it as easy as possible for the kids. They live down the road from me with their mum, and my relationship with them is actually stronger now - you spend more quality time doing things together when you don't see each other all the time. We go to the cinema, or the girls invite their friends round and Felix and I will play football in the park.

Now that Izzy is a teenager, I worry more. She and Martha are both into clothes and make-up, but I don't want them growing up too quickly. They have friends who are boys, but they're not dating - as far as I know!

I've had a couple of relationships over the last few years and am currently trying out online dating on Mysinglefriend.com. I'd like to meet someone who I could one day have more kids with. So who knows?"

TOP: TOM WEARS: CARDIGAN AND SHIRT, TOPMAN; JEANS, NEW LOOK; SHOES, OFFICE. JASON WEARS: SHIRT, RIVER ISLAND; JEANS, ZARA; BELT AND BOOTS, BURTON. DAMIEN WEARS: ALL CLOTHES, TOPMAN. DAVE WEARS: BLAZER, T-SHIRT AND JEANS, TOPMAN; SHOES, RIVER ISLAND. DEREK WEARS: CARDIGAN AND T-SHIRT, TOPMAN; JEANS, MANGO; SHOES, BURTON.

MIDDLE: TOM WEARS: SHIRT, T-SHIRT, JEANS AND BELT, ALL TOPMAN; TRAINERS, RIVER ISLAND. JASON WEARS: BLAZER, BURTON; T-SHIRT, RIVER ISLAND; JEANS, NEW LOOK; SCARF, NEXT; SHOES, TOPMAN. DAMIEN WEARS: BLAZER, TOPMAN; T-SHIRT, NEW LOOK; TROUSERS, NEXT; SHOES, RIVER ISLAND. DAVE WEARS: T-SHIRT, RIVER ISLAND; JEANS, TOPMAN; BELT, RIVER ISLAND; BOOTS, TOPMAN. DEREK WEARS: T-SHIRT, BURTON; JEANS, RIVER ISLAND; SCARF, TOPMAN; BELT, BURTON; BOOTS, TOPMAN

PHOTOGRAPHY: LANCTON HAIR & MAKE-UP: CAROLINE PIASECKI AND SARA BOWDEN USING DERMALOGICA STYLING: LUCIE CLIFFORD JASONSHANKEY.COM; 020 7386 3900 DAMIENFLOOD.COM

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