Last night a PC saved my life
Stressed? Depressed? Why not log on, lie back and try some e-therapy?
One evening a week, while her husband is playing on his Xbox, 33-year-old Claire Smith* heads to the spare room with a glass of red and logs onto the internet. Her husband Pete* thinks she's catching up with friends but Claire, from south London, is emailing her online therapist. It's a secret weekly event that's been happening for the past three months.
"I miscarried twins last year, and the sadness wouldn't subside," she says. "I returned to work afterwards and began trying to get pregnant again, but it didn't happen."
Claire was initially offered bereavement counselling but turned it down, believing she could cope on her own and hating the thought of confessing all to a stranger. However, when she heard about online therapy through a friend in March, Claire began to look into it. "I didn't know such a thing existed," she says. "But I researched it online and found Helen Glatt of Offload-onlinecounselling.co.uk. She offered the first email session for free and there was no commitment to follow it up. It seemed like the perfect solution."
Claire isn't the only one seeking support in cyberspace. While therapy used to be taboo, a recent report by the Future Foundation found that 83 per cent of adults have had, or would consider it. And the need for counsellors has never been higher, with new research** predicting there will be a 26 per cent increase in the number of people experiencing mental health problems by 2010 as a direct result of the economic crisis.
83% of adults have had, or would consider, therapy
Right now, Relate and Samaritans are offering therapy by email, while the Government is training 3,600 therapists to meet the increase in demand, and the NHS is investing heavily in Beating The Blues, an online programme to combat anxiety and stress. So it's little wonder, then, that e-therapy is growing in popularity.
But how does it work? The therapy can take the form of live MSN chats (an online conversation that takes place as if in a private chat room), video conferencing, or even cyber counselling in virtual world Second Life; although the majority takes place via email. Sessions are generally cheaper than face-to-face appointments, which usually average £70 an hour, and all have different procedures.
"My clients begin by emailing me a document detailing what is concerning them," explains Helen, who has been counselling online for five years, and charges £25 per email exchange. "I take my time reading it, then reply within 48 hours - usually in the format of my questions and comments marked on their original email. The dialogue between us continues until the client feels they've resolved their issue."
Claire says the fact she can't see Helen is what has made the therapy so successful. "I don't have to look her in the eye, so I don't feel she's judging me. I sometimes feel guilty that Pete doesn't know, but he'd be hurt to think that I'm not confiding in him. He just wants me to be 'fixed' and it's not that simple."
26% more people will have mental health problems by 2010
However, anonymity can also be one of the drawbacks. "People must check the credentials of their therapist with an organisation, like The British Association for Counselling and Psychotherapy (BACP), because anyone can call themselves a psychotherapist or counsellor," warns Phillip Hodson, psychotherapist and fellow of BACP.
Kate Jones* has also reaped the benefits of e-therapy. The 34 year old had secret online sessions with counsellor Jane Evans (Ocst.co.uk ) last month. "Everyone thinks I'm living a charmed life in Italy with my husband, Mark*, and two daughters, Lucy*, seven, and Mia*, four. But since we moved here from Britain three years ago, Mark and I have grown apart and our relationship is in tatters," says Kate.
She hadn't entertained the idea of having therapy before, saying: "As a busy mum of two, I didn't have time to go somewhere for an hour a week." But when a friend started having online therapy at home for depression, Kate looked into getting support too. She had four hour-long online conversational sessions with Jane, at a total cost of £100.
"Having the e-therapy has given me clarity, and made me realise that I need to start thinking about divorce," she says. While Kate's therapy is over, Claire still has weekly sessions with Helen. "Thanks to our emails I've realised I'm not a failure, and it's not my fault I had a miscarriage."
Relate offers relationship counselling via email. Each correspondence costs £28.50 - visit Relate.org.uk . Samaritans e-therapy is free. If you're suffering from anxiety or depression, talk to your GP about the Beating The Blues programme or visit Beatingtheblues.co.uk .
E-THERAPY: THE RULES
- Visit Acto-uk.org , and make sure your counsellor is fully qualified and accredited to BACP.
- Check out your counsellor's personal website - they may have a certain area of expertise.
- Don't feel obliged to give your name.
- For further advice, log on to Bacp.co.uk .
'E-THERAPY HELPED ME COPE WITH MY DAD'S DEATH'
Sue Collins, 43, has online therapy to help her come to terms with family tragedy.
"My dad died of a heart attack when I was nine, but I never really believed he was gone for good. I struggled for ages with my grief, and didn't feel I could talk to my family, who were also grieving.
When I accompanied a friend to her counselling session, I began to see that talking to someone might help me too. While waiting for her, I saw a leaflet about online therapy and, as I'm private about my feelings and wouldn't like to speak to someone face to face, it appealed to me.
It felt strange pouring my heart out, but my online sessions helped me realise I'd never really got over my dad's death. It was 30 years late, but I was finally allowing myself to grieve, and now I feel happier and healthier as a result. I think of e-therapy as my monthly facial, something that de-stresses me and helps me cope with life."
Photography: Camera
Press, Folio-id Main images posed by models
*names have been
changed
**by the conservative party
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