Dirty sexy money

Forget fashionistas - in the last cash-strapped 12 months, UK women have transformed into recessionistas, juggling work, family, and looking good as the credit crunch tightens its grip.

But how is the global financial meltdown affecting us? Well, we're coping, but increasing job losses are stressing us out, we're arguing more with our partners, sleeping less and losing weight.

Women are putting plans on hold - from having babies to getting married. Manicures and haircuts have been cancelled as we save cash and beautify ourselves at home instead.

And don't even mention our decreasing bank balances. According to the 1,000+ women we quizzed, four out of five of us are suffering financial anxiety, 37 per cent of us are struggling to pay the bills and 25 per cent of us have had to ask our families for help. Eek!

As a result, a third of us are feeling down about the future. But it's not all doom and gloom - some of us are happier than ever with our partners and some are having more sex.

Turn over to see how women really feel about the credit crunch and get expert tips on how to recession-proof your life.

For richer, for poorer: relationships

The recession hasn't just hit our bank balances - it's also causing chaos with our love lives too.

Our exclusive Fabulous survey shows the credit crunch is hitting your hearts - as well as your pockets. Some of you are more tempted to have affairs, others are having more regular bust-ups with their partners, while some women are putting off wedding and baby plans.

Couples in crisis

Money troubles go hand in hand with huge rows. That's why one in five of you are arguing more with your partner since the recession hit.

Want them to cool off? Then don't walk down the aisle - a third of married couples and a quarter of engaged ones confess to regular financial fall-outs.

Or move to Scotland: one in seven women there say the recession has brought them closer to their partner.

A third of you reckon the credit crunch has made you more likely to stay faithful.

DIVORCEES are struggling the most - 3 in 5 say they have less cash since the recession hit.

Re-SEX-sion

Forget balance sheets - get between your bed sheets!

That's what 18-24 years olds are doing, with 16% having more sex since the credit crunch struck.

Bad news (again) if you've got a ring on your finger though... 43% of married or engaged couples are having less sex. That's because they're too busy arguing. Come on people - love don't cost a thing!

'I can't afford to have a baby'

Paula Offwood, 36, had parenthood all planned out. But now she's lost her job, her dream of becoming a mum is on hold indefinitely. A former PA, Paula lives in High Wycombe, Bucks, with her husband Peter, 37, an IT consultant.

Peter and Paula have stopped trying for kids

"Peter and I had always said we'd have children when we were in our 30s. We wanted to enjoy our time together first: weekends at the races, lazy lie-ins, meals out Now I just wish we hadn't waited so long for a baby.

We'd been married for nine years when we started trying last October. I came off the Pill and excitedly told friends our plans to have a baby. But in December, I was made redundant from my job as a PA for the Woolworths Group, and suddenly my £24,000-a-year salary was gone. As I packed up my desk, I could see our baby plans slipping away. We had no savings, Peter's business was struggling and my £3,850 redundancy package wouldn't last long. We could only just afford the mortgage on our three-bed bungalow.

Drying my tears, Peter agreed I should go back on the Pill. After all, we both thought I'd have a new job within the next few weeks.

But I didn't and, five months on, I still don't. Now every time I see a mum with a newborn, I feel a twist in my stomach, thinking it should be me. Even walking past baby shops, I can't resist looking in the window at all the little socks and Babygros - which I can buy for my best friend's new baby son, but not for my own child. Plus, being 36, I know time is running out and that scares the hell out of me. Some days I'll burst into tears with frustration.

Peter's supportive, but deep down I feel he resents me. He wanted a baby two years ago but I said no because we were having too much fun. I feel so selfish now, especially as I know he'd make a fantastic dad. He'd love us to try regardless, but I don't want to bring up a baby when we can only just afford to put a roof over our head. I just hope I find a new job soon."

15% of single women say they're being taken on cheaper dates now.

1 in 10 Londoners think having an affair is more tempting than before.

11% of you revealed that either:

*You'd split up with someone if they lost his/her job.

*You want to dump your partner now but can't afford to.

*You or your other half have had an affair as a result of the recession.

12% of you want more 'thrills' to combat recession depression. May we suggest Ann Summers?

Wedding woes

Saving for their big day, engaged couples are making the most cutbacks. Over half of nearly-weds spend less than £10 a month on clothes, and one fifth don't spend more than a tenner on a night out.

A further 8% are delaying their weddings until after the recession. Well, that's their excuse anyway!

Bye-bye baby boom

One in 10 of you have put plans to have children on hold because you can't afford to have a baby.

And 25% of Northern Irish couples have decided to delay becoming parents since the recession hit.

Expert Advice

Relationships

Sex and relationship therapist Simone Bienne says: "Money worries are one of the main argument flashpoints for couples. If you're stressed, you need to talk about issues that are bothering you. It means resentment is less likely to build up. Stress can also affect your sex life. Reintroduce romance with a dirty weekend at home. Sex and orgasms are great - free! - stress-relievers."

Money

News of the World's Money Saving Expert Martin Lewis says: "Most people struggle to pay bills because of poor money management. Draw up a detailed budget, prioritise your expenditure and stick to it. If you are struggling financially, get advice on what debts you need to make a priority. And if you're falling behind on your mortgage, talk to your lender. That way they're more likely to treat you fairly."

Home truths: work and play

While house prices are down and first-time buyers are popping corks, the credit crunch has hit homeowners. Hard.

With 9% of you admitting to falling behind with your mortgage repayments, and 37% of you struggling to pay your household bills, it's not hard to understand why 6% of women have either had to move the boyfriend in or go back to live with their parents (afraid so) just to get by.

And your home plans are on hold - 18% of you want to move house, but can't, and 10% of you are putting off installing new kitchens and bathrooms thanks to feeling the pinch.

31% of 25-30 year olds currently want to move abroad. Hmm... anything to do with Mr Darling and his budget?

4% of 18-30 year olds have downgraded to a smaller house, rising to 6% in London.

RECESSION EFFECT: 4% of women have had to move back in with mum and dad.

CAREERS BY NUMBERS

*20% have had your hours or salary cut.

*25% of you think your job's not safe - although 50% stress about their partner's position more.

*1 in 6 have shelved plans to change your career.

*40% of you don't think you'd find a new job if you lost yours.

Some good news! Only 2% reckon you'd get dumped if you were laid off. What nice blokes you have!

'So broke, I have to live in Mum's spare room'

Stefanie Parker, 27, loved her girlie pad - but when she lost her £16,000-a-year admin job, she struggled to pay the mortgage on her semi. So she had to pack her bags and move in with her mum. Now Stefanie is so broke, she relies on her mum for food, transport and money.

Stephanie is now relying on her mum's generosity

"I was so proud when I bought a house in Pensby, Wirral, with two girlfriends three years ago. It was a simple semi, but we were on the property ladder and free from our parents.

It was a struggle paying £400 a month to cover the mortgage and bills, but I just about made ends meet.

By last autumn, rising gas and electricity bills meant it was getting harder and harder to break even and I was dipping into my overdraft most months.

Then, in December, I was made redundant. With zero money coming in and no savings, there was no way I could afford the house. The others were struggling too, so there was no option but to rent it out.

I moved back home to my mum's bungalow, where most of my stuff is now in boxes in the garage.

Mum and I get on, but it's tough being back at home - she's strict and, as I'm living under her roof, I have to abide by her rules. I've been with my boyfriend David, 32, a business development manager, for a year, but he's not allowed to stay over because Mum doesn't approve. She says it would be different if we were married.

He's got his own place, but it's tiny, so I don't get to spend much time on my own with him, which has caused some friction between us.

I applied for other jobs, but they all came to nothing, so I decided to learn from my experience and started a small lettings business. I run it from my mum's office.

But it's not giving me an income yet. I'm broke and I've completely lost my independence - Mum drives me everywhere because I can't afford petrol.

On the rare occasion I do go out, Mum will pick me up to save on cab fares. She'll slip me some cash sometimes too. I'm grateful, but it's humiliating.

I hate that I'm a strain on Mum. I just hope I can make a success of my business so I can move out. But I don't know what the future holds. It's so scary."

19% of you have been made redundant or have a partner who's been handed their P45.

Expert Advice

Employment

Careers coach Steve Miller, author of Change Your Life: Grab That Job, says: "If you're worried about being made redundant, develop new skills to make you more attractive to your employer and form a good relationship with your boss. If you've lost your job, send your CV to as many recruitment agencies as possible, with a letter highlighting specialist skills. Don't be afraid to call companies direct to enquire about jobs - it shows initiative. And remember, redundancy can be an opportunity to change for the better."

Change Your Life: Grab That Job is available to buy from June 11 (Headline, £7.99)

'Our love died when we lost our house'

When Allen Young's mortgage brokerage business went bust last year, he spent eight weeks on the dole, had his £195,000 house repossessed - and nearly lost his family. His wife Natalie, 27, from Sunderland, a full-time mum to daughters Tamsin, five, and Talia, three, reveals how the recession brought their marriage to the brink.

Allen and Natalie lost their home

"An overdue £200 BT bill for Allen's business telephone line was my first clue that something was wrong. That's when he told me we were broke - totally. His business was about to go under, our £20,000 savings had gone and we had unpaid bills of more than £5,000 I felt sick and angry. Why had he kept it all hidden? Until then, we'd had a perfect life with a four-bed detached house and holidays in the Canaries.

In six years of marriage, we'd never had secrets. Now he'd broken my trust and our marriage. I felt foolish and naive. Allen was the breadwinner - if I needed anything, I just took his cash card. I never checked our bank statements.

With monthly mortgage repayments of £1,250 and no income, we had to drastically cut back, but within weeks I felt trapped. We began to fall behind on our repayments and I spent most days crying from worry. I felt like we'd failed our kids. Trying to support Allen was hard as, deep down, I blamed him. He'd left a secure £24,000 banking job to work for himself and taken £20,000 equity from our house.

We fought constantly and slept in separate rooms. Then, after a huge row, Allen stormed out. I felt sure we'd separate. The next day he came home and we agreed to try again.

We went to marriage counselling. It made me realise I loved him and we'd get through it. Then, two months later, Allen got a £12,000-a-year job as, ironically, a debt advisor.

The toughest part was when our house was repossessed last December. We couldn't afford to keep up the payments. The day we handed the keys back, I felt ripped apart. I loved our home and thought we'd grow old there.

I'm still sad about what we've lost - now we live in a small, rented place. But all that matters is the girls are happy and healthy, and Allen and I are together. I'm ashamed I let money threaten my marriage, although I defy any couple not to start falling apart when they lose everything.

We're rebuilding our relationship. We've been through the worst. If we can survive that, we can survive anything."

Allen, 27, says: "I wish I'd told Natalie immediately when things started going wrong, but I felt sure I would turn it all around. I wasn't thinking straight and admitting my business had failed was a huge knock to my pride. I understand why she felt betrayed. Possessions and status mean nothing - the only thing of real value is my family."

Body, booty and you

Are you on the debt diet?

Money troubles means a massive tightening of your belts... literally! Thanks to the recession, 17% of you have lost weight and 15% of you are missing meals to save cash. Over a third of you have lost between 1-2st, while one in 10 of you has shed more! Eat that, Mr Motivator!

24% are eating more healthily.

18% are having smaller portions to save money.

11% are comfort-eating more junk food.

19% are eating cheaper processed food.

12% are doing fancy cooking at home to avoid eating out.

16% are throwing fewer dinner parties.

1 in 5 of you have lost weight thanks to the recession.

Fear and clothing

Despite 41% of you admitting to spending blindly since the recession hit, we can't quite see where!

Your passion for fashion's been subdued: 87% of you now fork out no more than £50 a month on clothes, while 60% of you have cut your monthly beauty budget to under a tenner - with expensive shampoos being the first to be binned.

Plus you're going back to your roots: 36% of you have stopped going to salons and now dye your hair at home.

Upsides of the downturn

*A fifth of you have had your cost of living reduced, with 22% of 31-34 year olds enjoying lower mortgages and cheaper groceries.

*18% of you still spend more than £1,001 a year on holidays. Can we come?

*A jammy 5% of you are richer than before.

Primark is quids in. 70% of you now shop there - compared to 42% before the recession.

Get bidding... Half of women now shop for clothes on eBay.

IF YOU'RE WORRIED ABOUT:

YOUR JOB

Start swotting up on everything from redundancy rights to how to write the perfect CV at Armchairadvice.co.uk .

YOUR HOME

Organisations like Shelter can advise you on how to tackle mortgage arrears, help you negotiate with your lender to avoid repossession and, worst-case scenario, find you emergency housing. See Shelter.org.uk or find your local Citizen's Advice Bureau at Citizensadvice.org.uk.

YOUR RELATIONSHIP

Anxiety about debts and unemployment takes its toll on couples. If your love life is buckling under your worries, counselling could help. Contact Relate.org.uk or call the Samaritans on 08457 909090 for help with general anxieties.

Photography: Lancton, Claire Wood, Alan Peebles, Paul Newman Photography hair: Alice Theobald at Joy Goodman, Kelly at NE Representation, Make-up: Afton at S management using Clinique, Tally Bookbinder at Nemesis styling: Angiesmith.co.uk models: India and Blair at Nevs

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