Amanda gets serenaded by Katie Price...
TUESDAY, DECEMBER 1
Piers Morgan calls. He's having a Christmas party tonight at the swanky Mandarin Oriental hotel and he's after a favour. "I need you to be as rude as possible about me tonight," he says. He explains that he's going to dish out awards to some of his friends and that I'm in charge of setting the tone for the evening because I'm picking up the first one. My gong is for Bizarre Texter Of The Year as I send him silly messages all the time. I even texted from my honeymoon telling him I'd sunburnt my bum!
I rush out and print a batch of business cards with his name and mobile number on one side and "YES" on the other. It's a running joke between us that Piers doesn't need an agent because he accepts every job offer he gets. He's the ultimate Yes Man!
At the party I bump into Sharon and Ozzy Osbourne, and Sharon has to explain to Oz who I am. "This is Amanda, she's a judge on Britain's Got Talent - it's like the show I do in America," she says, while Oz looks at me blankly. They really are a comedy duo!
At the dinner table I'm chatting to cricketer Freddie Flintoff and Lord Alan Sugar about The Apprentice when Katie Price sits down beside me. "Lord Sugar, why don't you hire Katie for one of the tasks next year?" I suggest, which prompts Katie to start selling herself. "I'm not the brightest but I know how money works," she says. Lord Sugar replies: "I think you'd be an asset to the show." Watch this space, readers!
Later, in the ladies, Katie grabs my hands and suddenly starts belting out Bryan Adams' Heaven. It's a little bizarre but, I have to say, that girl's got a voice! A few drinks later, we're having photos taken and Katie begins posing provocatively on the floor as if she's on a calendar shoot. Lily Allen looks on horrified and bursts into tears. "Somebody needs to help her, this is awful to watch," she sobs, so I put my arm around her and try to calm her down. I share Lily's concerns, though. Before I leave, I see Katie singing to the entire room. She seems so vulnerable. I feel sad, but it's not my place to rescue her.
SATURDAY, DECEMBER 5
I seem to have passed on my Christmas obsession to my three-year-old daughter Lexi, and today she writes to Santa - it's a very long letter! Let's just say, Father Christmas is going to be sending Mummy and Daddy a huge bill!
This year, my husband Chris and I are toning down each other's presents because of the credit crunch. But if I get my heated eyelash curlers (hint hint Father Chris-mas), I'll be one happy bunny.
As we're staying in a rented cottage in Cornwall on the big day, we've had to buy a sign saying "Santa please stop here" because Lexi's so worried he won't find her.
Happy Christmas everyone!
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