This week, Amanda Holden is a bag of nerves and gets stern with Jimmy Carr
SATURDAY, OCTOBER 24
I'm in my Paris hotel room when Piers texts: "In Shanghai, darling. Can't believe nobody knows me here. Terrible!" What's he like?! I'm not having the same problem. "Have just been accosted by some American tourists who ask if I'm the judge who knows Susan Boyle," I text back. Boylemania's gone global!
SUNDAY, OCTOBER 25
My hubby Chris and daughter Lexi fly in. They're here to watch my performance as a Parisian showgirl for my ITV1 show Fantasy Lives. I'm filming it on Tuesday at the legendary venue, the Paris Lido.
Tonight, I take Chris to see the famous Crazy Horse cabaret show - which has previously starred Dita Von Teese. Madonna's a fan and I can understand why - it's the sexiest thing I've ever seen! One girl's doing a bondage-inspired dance in a G-string. The women are so beautiful and perfectly formed - not a bit of podge in sight! Let's face it, women's bodies are just gorgeous - much more sexy than men's. Chris, predictably, loves it too. He insists I don't need to buy him Christmas presents forever.
Trust me, it pays when a woman adds a touch of spice to her marriage. I wore new underwear for the occasion - and let's just say Chris appreciated it...
MONDAY, OCTOBER 26
Am shocked to hear that Jimmy Carr's been joking about soldiers who have tragically lost limbs. When I met him in Edinburgh recently, I thought he was funny, but this was a joke gone too far. I understand that comedy often comes from tragedy, but it's strange, especially after he spent so much time with injured troops at a military hospital and rehab centre. It's good he's apologised - I'm sure he's feeling terrible.
I'm sad to read that Lord Andrew Lloyd Webber is having treatment for prostate cancer. I wish him well. When we met at a dinner party 10 years ago, he asked me to play Eva Perón, the lead in Evita, in Australia. I've done West End shows and think it's an ace part, but I thought he was joking, so I replied: "God no! I can't go to Australia!" But he didn't laugh - oops!
TUESDAY, OCTOBER 27
Strictly Come Dancing judge Craig Revel Horwood, who choreographed one of my routines, makes a surprise appearance at my final rehearsal. When I speak to him afterwards I joke: "Your ears must have been burning, I've been slagging you off all week - this dance is so difficult!" He laughs and is charming, totally different from the critical guy you see on telly. He dishes out some tips and then gives me a signed copy of his new autobiography. Inside he's written: "Keep on hoofing darling" - that's dancing to you and me!
Tonight's my big moment in front of 1,000 people and I'm a bag of nerves. I dance on stage for three hours and love it. Overall it goes well, but I could have done better. There's a hairy moment when I slip on a lethal staircase and nearly fall off! Craig must have turned a blind eye because he gives me a 10 for effort - result!
What do you think of Amanda's diary? Email her at amanda@fabulousmag.co.uk
PHOTOGRAPHY: PA
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