Which man should I choose?

Q: I was with my boyfriend for more than two years until I found out he'd slept with a girl I work with - twice. We split up for over a month, but he said he was sorry and really wanted me back, so I agreed. The problem is, I've now fallen for another guy who I know returns my feelings. Who should I pick? Joanne, by email

Toxic: So do you stick with your go-to boyfriend who has twice slept with a girl behind your back, or do you swap him for a new man who you've fallen for and you know likes you? Hmm, hardly a head-scratcher of "shall we invade Iraq?" proportions when you put it like that, is it? Jettison your long-term loser and throw your energy into making it work with your new suitor. Yes, two years is a long time, but it wasn't you who threw away the memories - it was your man. He slept with a girl twice. He had his chance and he blew it twice. Get out before he makes it third time unlucky.

Tantric: Whoa girl! When your love life starts to get more complicated than a Hollyoaks plot, it's time to slow down. Let's deal with your boyfriend first. When you got back together, was it because you believed he was The One, or because you were trying to prove that you could 'win' him back. And the rebound guy is a train wreck waiting to happen. If you get involved with him now behind your man's back, he'll have the same trust issues that you had with your fella, except you will be the cheater. Ditch the drama and spend some time alone until you figure out what you really want.

Q: I've just found out I've got chlamydia. I've only had two relationships where we didn't always use condoms. My friends say I should call the men, but I can't face it. Do I need to tell them? Lizzie, by email

Toxic: Put yourself in their shoes. An ex has caught something nasty and thinks you gave it to him. Would you prefer not to know until you infected a future boyfriend? Or would you rather find out and nip it in the bud as soon as possible? You have to tell them. And you have to do it mouth-to-mouth (messages can be misconstrued). Take a deep breath, pick up the phone, break the bad news, then delete them and their STI forever.

Tantric: Sorry, but there's no way to do this over dinner ("You may have chlamydia. Can you pass the ketchup?"). Give it to them straight in a phone call. If they're nice, they'll understand. If they hurl abuse at you, at least you've done the right thing. If you don't tell them, they can go on infecting other people - bear in mind chlamydia often has no symptoms and can make women infertile. Isn't that a lot scarier than a two-minute phone call?

The Toxic Guide to: Humour

The Toxic Bachelor takes you on a journey into men's minds. But be warned, it ain't pretty...

Men love ripping their mates to shreds. But it's not nasty. Why? Can you hear that? It's my mates laughing. A sound that says: "Well done, Stu, you've earned your place in the group." But what if I was the punchline? Then so be it. Men don't bond by probing feelings or praising tops. We show affection via vindictiveness. Weird? Probably to you. Women don't even find farting funny - something it undoubtedly is. Why? We're not sure. All we know is the more women hate something, the funnier it is. But the more a woman uses male humour, the less attractive she is. A funny woman steals our spotlight, a fun woman lets us be the entertainer. And if a relationship is going to be successful, it helps if the man is the entertainer.

Email your questions to toxicandtantric@fabulousmag.co.uk

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