Q: While I was on a college trip, I met a nice lad who was staying at the same hotel. He was really lovely and funny, and eventually we slept together. I told him that I was a virgin but he said we were in love. He promised to call, and I've tried to contact him, but three months on I've heard nothing. What do I do? Amy, by email

TOXIC: Hi, my name's Amy and this is what I learned this summer: 1) When men get women into an intimate situation, they spin any yarn necessary to seal the deal. 2) No matter how thick the love's laid on, 99 per cent of the time the kiss goodbye is the final saliva you'll ever swap with a holiday romance. In terms of what you do, you can either hole up in your room weeping (and sending unanswered emails), or start to appreciate the positives. Like? Well, you won't fall for that cr*p again. And you had your first time with someone you thought loved you - something very, very few people can say.

TANTRIC: Either he's had an accident and is lying in a ditch, or he's blowing you out. I'm hoping for the ditch, because it's clear he took advantage of you. But look on the bright side. You had a fun night and ended up STD-free (you used a condom, right?). The best part about losing your virginity is that sex gets better from here on in. But you should treat sex like Spider-Man: with great power comes great responsibility. Which means keeping your knickers on until a) you've learned to separate sex and love and are only chasing physical pleasure, or b) you find a relationship based on trust, which takes time.

Q: I've always known my boyfriend is bisexual. But now I'm really falling for him, I'm worried that - as a woman - I'll never be able to fully satisfy him. How do I handle this? Jenni, by email

TOXIC: Well, you could turn transsexual! But leaving life-altering surgical fixes aside, what do you really want me to say? After all, you already know the truth: if your man is bisexual, no matter what you do, there will always be something you can't give him. And in turn there's something he can't give you: loyalty. And if he can't give you that (cheating is cheating, no matter who it's with), then I'm afraid your relationship is doomed.

TANTRIC: It's tough with bisexual partners, since every man and woman is potential competition. And let's face it: you'll never have a penis. So ask him the questions that scare you. Does he miss sex with men? If he thinks bisexual means 'free pass to sleep around', you have a problem. He should reassure you straight men fancy other women but don't do anything in a committed relationship. If you doubt he's committed, that's another chat altogether.

The Toxic Guide to: Internet dating
The Toxic Bachelor takes you on a journey into men's minds. But be warned, it ain't pretty...

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Emails from internet dating suitors can be neatly sorted into three groups: sex-seeker, desperado and potential partner. A sex-seeker will send something like: "You look and sound great. Want to meet?" Clearly a cut and paste job. A desperado will ramble (forget anyone who writes over two paragraphs). And a 'potential' partner will succinctly tell you about himself, then emphasise how great it would be if you wrote back. But men don't go on dating sites to chat for weeks, so if you want to snare a cyber-hunk cut the 'getting to know you via e-mail' rubbish and agree to his offer of a date. An event he'll use to discover what really makes you tick. Then? You live happily ever after, of course. Well, hopefully...

Email your questions to toxicandtantric@fabulousmag.co.uk

PHOTOGRAPHY: LANCTON ILLUSTRATION: SPENCER WILSON STUART IS REGULARS EDITOR OF FHM TANTRIC AND TOXIC REGRET THEY CAN'T ANSWER EMAILS PERSONALLY

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