'I was called fat, ugly and told no one would love me’

Bullied at school for being different, La Roux is having the last laugh – and learning to love what she sees in the mirror

By Gemma Calvert and Photography by Barnaby Wilshier, 07/02/2010

Moments before she was due to hit the stage at Glastonbury, La Roux allowed herself a tentative look at the gathering throng. A huge crowd had turned up to see her perform, despite the fact that just a year earlier they'd never heard of her.

As well as playing the biggest gig in the music calendar, on that night last June her band's second single, Bulletproof, had just hit No1 after selling a staggering 200,000 copies. But until that moment, the 21-year-old singer - real name Elly Jackson - hadn't had chance to take stock of her lightening-fast rise to fame.

"Before I went on stage I peeked at the crowd and thought: 'Wow Elly, you've done this.' I was so proud of myself. I was thinking: 'I've been through a lot to get here and overcome fears I never thought I would.'"

She's not talking about stage nerves. This is the incredibly personal journey of a young woman who was bullied for being different.

Growing up, she enjoyed a blissful home life with her parents, ex Bill actress Trudie Goodwin, 58, and her actor dad Kit Jackson, 61, in Herne Hill, south London, where she still lives with them. But school life was a different matter. "I felt very out of sorts at school," Elly explains. "I was a tomboy and didn't dress like a girl. I wore tracksuits and wanted to hang out with the boys. I got picked on because I was different."

"The culprit was like my best friend and my bully," says Elly. "I had to be friends with her or she'd f*** me up. She had me on a string. I was terrified.

"It was constant abuse," she continues, her voice going quieter. "It was: 'You're fat, you're ugly, no one will ever love you or fancy you.'

During her teens she attended a strict private religious school that she says "sucked the life out of me". Like many girls of that age, Elly felt a huge pressure to conform. She was surrounded by girlie-girls, and despite being more at home in an Arsenal shirt than a miniskirt, she forced herself to fit in. But the verbal attacks still came - this time from within.

"I started bullying myself," she says. "I'd look in the mirror and believe what I'd been told when I was younger - that no one on the planet would ever think I was pretty or love me. I totally lost my confidence and it took three years to get it back.

"I'd try to be more girlie but ended up losing myself. I'd go out wearing trousers and vest tops and felt like a transvestite, like a weirdo, almost perverse."

Before our interview, we'd read a lot about La Roux. We'd heard the rumours that she was difficult, a diva. In fact, we almost expected her to live up to her fiery name - La Roux means 'the red-haired one' in French, after all.

In pictures, her pose is that of a petulant teen, scowling from behind her Jedward-style quiff. Some critics have even dubbed her "La Rude", for her cutting remarks. But the reality is altogether different. Nothing could have prepared us for her laying herself bare in this out-pouring of emotion.

So what if she arrives at the north London photographic studio 35 minutes late? When she eventually scuttles in, all faux fur and dark glasses, we're greeted with a smile and a shake of her gold-adorned hand.

Far from being the awkward muso we'd steeled ourselves for, Elly is, dare we say it, down to earth and really quite nice.

"It's frustrating, because people get me wrong," she says, shaking her head. "They think I'm either a massive bitch, really harsh or moody - when I'm not. I'm just passionate about things I feel strongly about."

One of those things is music. Elly was penning songs aged just nine. Fast-forward 12 years and she and fellow band mate, producer Ben Langmaid, 35, have been signed to Polydor - and she's realising her childhood dream.

It's been a tough ride, but success started when Elly finally left the mean girls of high school behind to attend art college. There, she felt free to experiment and find her own identity - although she admits that a fad of pointy shoes and skin-tight pinstripe trews did leave her looking like the Child Catcher from Chitty Chitty Bang Bang.

It was while hanging out at warehouse parties in London that Elly met Ben. He gave her lyrics a synth-pop makeover and, with a little help from Elly's dad - who passed their demos to a music insider - La Roux was born.

With her unique looks and falsetto sound, it's no wonder she and Ben are up for the British Breakthrough Act gong at this year's Brits, as well as the British Single award for In For The Kill.

Quirky and cool, Elly is a poster girl for women who don't want to conform to the stereotype. She doesn't own a dress, has never tried on heels or had a fake tan. But she is beautiful. Her skin is flawless and her brown eyes full of emotion. Curiously, she owns 100 pairs of identical black John Lewis pants and has only once worn a G-string, for 10 minutes ("I don't care enough about VPL to be that uncomfortable").

"I hate this perception that a woman's femininity is only reflected in what bikini or underwear she has," she says. "Being a woman is about being a good, nice person and making other people's lives better."

In that respect, Elly is all woman. She recently whisked her family away to Barbados for a holiday and has also helped pay for a local London family to travel to Jamaica for a funeral. She has a heart of gold.

If you listen to La Roux's self-titled album lyrics, they're dominated by love and heartbreak - supposedly inspired by a five-year relationship turned sour.

"I wasn't in a relationship, I was just in love," clarifies Elly. "I'm attracted to someone when I know I can't have them."

A psychologist might suggest Elly feels she doesn't deserve true happiness. Does she agree? "I don't know," she responds. "Maybe it's the achievement if you do get them, because then it means they f***ing love you."

The rumours about Elly's sexuality only add to her mystery. Do a Google search and message boards galore pop up debating whether she's gay, straight or bisexual. One forum even suggests she's really a man. So, what is the truth?

"I don't have a sexuality. I don't feel like I'm female or male. I don't belong to the gay or straight society, if there is such a thing. I feel like I'm capable of falling in love with other people. I'm not saying I'm bisexual, I'm just sexual!"

Ask if she's kissed a girl and her answer is "it's irrelevant". So has she ever fancied women? "Of course, I can appreciate other women," she admits. "Beyoncé is beautiful. I find men or women sexy. The Mexican actor Gael García Bernal [star of The Motorcycle Diaries] is hot and I've always fancied James Dean - but, weirdly, I want to look like the people I fancy."

And today's look is very Dean-inspired - complete with furrowed brow. It is, she explains, how she flirts. "I just turn on the sex, turn on the eyes. If I give you that look, I'd have to sleep with you!"

Currently, romance is not on Elly's list of priorities. Neither is a swanky showbiz life. Sure, she boasts Lily Allen as a close celebrity friend, but that's where it stops. She doesn't consider herself famous, wouldn't be seen dead in a West End nightclub, hasn't been drunk for four years ("alcohol makes me feel sick") and, as for drugs, forget it.

Elly has previously alluded to dabbling in drugs - but today is clean as a whistle. "I've been given a chance and I'm not going to f*** it up by taking some c**p at the weekend and getting sick. Yes it's a laugh, yes it's a joyride, but this job is also serious. I'm running my own business - you must not forget that."

* Catch the Brit Awards, February 16, 8pm, ITV1.

• La Roux's self-titled album is on sale now. Get tickets for the Gold Tour at Laroux.co.uk

HAVE YOU EVER?

Deliberately given the wrong number to a guy?

Yes, all the time!

Used your celebrity status to get a free holiday/outfit/meal?

Free outfits - that's what being a celebrity's about! Gucci has just made me a suit.

Got points on your licence?

No, I'm a really good driver. I've just bought a 1987 Mercedes SL500.

Tipped off a photographer just so you get your photo in the paper?

No! Anyone who does that is a t**t, a massive t**t - get a life. Either people are interested in you or they're not. That's the lowest of the low.

Felt guilty about an obscenely large pay packet?

No, because I earned every penny of it.

Pretended to be a lesbian to put off a guy in a bar?

I don't need to pretend - they'd probably think I was a lesbian anyway!

ADDITIONAL PHOTOGRAPHY: SCOPE FEATURES, CAPITAL, STARSTOCK HAIR & MAKE-UP: LIZ MARTINS AT NAKED ARTISTS USING MAC AND SCHWARZKOPF OSIS STYLING: NOVA DANDO ELLY WEARS: SHIRT, CHRISTIAN LACROIX; PENDANT, SYLVIE MARKOVINA IF YOU ARE BEING BULLIED AND NEED ADVICE CALL CHILDLINE ON 0800 1111

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