'Hell and back to have a baby but I want more'

Jools Oliver, 34, wife of Fabulous chef Jamie, knows the pain of trying to start a family. Without fertility treatment, she may never have become a mum. To mark the launch of our crusade to raise £500,000 for Wellbeing of Women, its patron, Sarah Brown, 45, mum to John, five, and Fraser, three, exclusively interviewed Jools for Fabulous at her north London home...

Sarah: Jools, thanks so much for seeing me and agreeing to talk to Fabulous. I met Jamie not so long ago, when the apprentices from his Fifteen foundation cooked for the G20 world leaders at Downing Street. It was April 1, the date you were due to give birth to your third child, so thank you so much for lending him to us for those 24 hours! I'm glad he got back to you in time, although we did always have an agreement with him that if his pager went off, he would go and everyone would manage, no matter who they were. Seeing you today, it's hard to believe you only gave birth to Petal three months ago. You look fantastic in your Fabulous photo shoot and I'm sure readers would love to know your secret.
Jools: I haven't got any! I like running and boxing, but I haven't exercised since Petal was born on April 3. She was quite a little baby though - just 6lb 10oz - and with seven-year-old Poppy and six-year-old Daisy, I never get a chance to sit down. Eating's not always a top priority either. And breastfeeding helps. The midwife said that babies take at least 1,000 calories a day when you breastfeed, but you've got to keep it up.

Sarah interviews Jools at the home she shares with Jamie

S: It's wonderful that you've had your three daughters, but right back at the beginning, when you first got married and had hopes and dreams about starting a family, it wasn't quite so easy, was it?
J: No, it wasn't. Even when I was 17, I thought there might be a problem and that I'd have trouble conceiving because my periods were irregular. But when you're young, nothing like that matters. And then, when I got married, I knew children were the next big thing. But when we started trying for a baby in 2000, it took longer than I thought so I had to have some investigations. It started off with simple blood tests, but then I had to go for an ultrasound and an X-ray, so doctors could see what was happening inside me. Jamie also had to have a sperm check. I was quite quickly diagnosed with polycystic ovarian syndrome (PCOS), which meant that I wasn't ovulating each month like normal. It can make some women infertile, so as much as I went to the doctors thinking: "Oh, I'll just get checked out", I then got a little scared and panicked because I thought I was going to need IVF.

WATCH JOOLS OLIVER'S FABULOUS FASHION SHOOT VIDEO

S: And you did go on to have fertility treatment. Looking back, was it a difficult decision to make?
J: I didn't care how far I had to go. You hear horror stories and you think it's going to be hard, but I didn't care. I just wanted a baby.

S: What was that experience like for you and how did it impact on you personally? Was it emotionally and physically tough?
J: I always feel really guilty when I talk about this because some people have had so much worse. There's the IVF thing, which is full on and invasive, but I had to take a drug called Clomid. It stimulates ovulation and it had quite an effect on me. Frankly, I had all the side effects - dizziness, panic attacks, blurred vision - and that was hard on Jamie. But I was determined to get the thing done. It was awful, but I just thought: "Keep going". I'm sure any couple that has been through fertility treatment understands what I'm saying.

Jools and Jamie with daughter Petal in April

S: I think these things are hard, especially when you don't know what your outcome is going to be.
J: Yes, they kept saying do it for three months and then we'll try something else. When I think about it, I had it fairly easy, but at the time it's the fear of thinking it might not work that makes you panic. And I think I spent lots of time panicking and that made the effects of the drug worse. It was a hard few months and there was so much pressure on us both. It was especially tough for Jamie because he was working. It's not a nice way to try to get a baby really.

S: Did you ever contemplate life without children?
J: Never. I couldn't. I'd have adopted. I'd have done anything to have children. Adoption or by any other means, all I wanted to do was be a mum.

S: But you then had a lovely daughter, Poppy in March 2002. How grateful were you for the help you received?
J: The doctor I had was absolutely fantastic. In fact, I think I fell in love with him! I suppose I'm just another patient to him, but if I go back to the hospital for a check-up and see him, I always think about what he did for me. He probably does it every day, but for me it was a miracle.

S: It makes you realise that dreams can come true, doesn't it?
J: Absolutely.

S: And then your second little one, Daisy, came along very quickly.
J: Yes, I wasn't sure about that! Poppy was about four months old when I found out I was pregnant with Daisy. That was such a shock. But after about a week, I thought: "This is great".

S: With two children already, did you and Jamie think carefully about having a third?
J: My sister Lisa fell pregnant in 2007 and that Christmas I started to feel that I really wanted another baby, but I was frightened and worried that I wouldn't be able to cope. I think I needed the break between number two and three as it was quite a lot to deal with having two of them so close. I never felt like I had properly recovered really.

S: And you used fertility treatment again to conceive Petal?
J: Yes. Everything was going well with my periods and then suddenly they stopped. It was a shock. When I wanted another baby, I thought that I wouldn't be able to. I feared I'd waited too long to try for another, so I had to use Clomid again.

Doing the school run with Poppy (left) and Daisy

S: Did you experience the same side effects?
J: Pretty much, but not as bad as before because psychologically I was in a much better place. I had two children and I was thinking that if it didn't work I would consider adoption. I just thought I needed that third child.

S: What were the side effects?
J: Dizziness, panic attacks and my vision was funny at night. I used to say to Jamie I was seeing spots, and he was like: "Not again!", but he got used to it. At first I didn't know it was the Clomid - I thought I was going mad or that I had a tumour. My doctor even sent me for a brain scan. Jamie said to me: "This is ridiculous. What are you doing to yourself?" In the end, my results were fine. The doctor did tell me I had to calm down though or the treatment wasn't going to work.

S: It's easy to scare yourself, isn't it? Which is why being able to talk to other people and access information is so important. Wellbeing of Women has started a Friend scheme on its website which means women can get this kind of support. Yet despite it all, Petal was born in April. You told me that she's an easy baby - is motherhood easier third time around?
J: Yes, I don't know whether it's her or me. She's a very relaxed baby, but then is that because I'm a really relaxed mum? My other two weren't so relaxed, so I don't know.

S: Have Poppy and Daisy welcomed her into the family?
J: Yes, they have. The only thing I found hard was leaving them out. I'm so enjoying Petal that I feel guilty I'm not spending enough time with them. But I assured them that when she's bottle-fed it will be about the three of them. I've started taking them to school again and they're so happy.

S: Do you yearn for more children?
J: I do actually. I think I've got one more left and then I'll stop. Five would kill me, but I feel like I'm not done yet. I think Jamie's done but I could have another tomorrow.

S: I know Jamie said he was hoping for a boy one day.
J: Yeah, he would like a boy, but he loves his girls. When they arrive, you can't imagine them any other way.

S: Would you ever think about adopting a boy?
J: Jamie has said that. I think maybe. Who knows? Adoption is such a wonderful thing to do, I'd love to do it.

Jools usually runs to stay in shape

S: Did Jamie take paternity leave when Petal was born?
J: He took two weeks. It's not really enough time, but it helped.

S: I think the two weeks with a husband around does make a difference. But they've now extended it so mums get a year, when it used to be six months. To have that option and to be able to have time at home is important. What kind of mum do you think you are?
J: I'm good at routine, and I'm loving, cuddly and not particularly strict. Jamie's very strict, but also a lot more rough and tumble - so it's a good balance.

S: It's the other way round with us - I'm hard cop actually! Jamie has said that you're polar opposites. Do you think that's right?
J: I don't know how we ended up married actually as we enjoy such different things. He's quite sociable while I like to be at home. We have the same sense of humour, which is the main thing. But we're very different.

S: Tell me about your routine at home with Jamie and the kids. Like my husband, Jamie works quite long hours...
J: During the week I don't put Jamie in the mix at all. I get up at 6am and I do the girls' breakfast, get them dressed and ready, then I feed Petal while we hang out in the house. My nanny comes at 8am to take the girls to school and then I'm at home with the baby all day. Then the girls come home from school at 3ish and it's full on until bedtime. It's like a whirlwind. They used to go to bed at 6pm and now it's creeping up to 8pm. I'm really good at getting them to bed, but they're really good at getting back up to ask complicated questions that need long answers!

S: How do you fit Jamie back into the family when he comes home?
J: Jamie does all weekends and that's when we spend time in our home in Essex. On a Friday I travel there with the girls. Jamie arrives later and then we both switch off. I spend time with Petal, and he does boy things with the girls. I'm quite controlling and I wasn't happy that he'd taught them to climb up trees. I thought it was a stupid thing to do because the next day Poppy was out and scraped her tummy. But I shouldn't complain because Jamie's excellent at the weekends, anything I ask him to do, he'd do it.

S: Do you think you'll go back to work at some point?
J: Every time I have a baby it makes me realise how much I like being a stay-at-home mum. I'm really lucky to be in a position where I get to choose. I wouldn't mind designing a range of baby clothes but I don't want to do too much because Jamie's so busy. I'm really lucky to have the choice, there's no denying it.

"I'd have another baby tomorrow!"

S: For women, things change and children at different stages have different needs. I have friends with older teenagers who are now staying at home to be with their children, but who were working when their kids were younger.
J: Yes, I do like to do things. I felt really good doing the Fabulous shoot. The music was going and I felt young again. Even though Petal was there, I felt free. Then you come home and you're back to the same old thing!

S: One of the reasons Wellbeing of Women joined forces with Fabulous is because it wants to encourage women to take more control of their own health and regularly check themselves for problems. Are you good at going for regular check-ups?
J: Yes, maybe too much! I'm actually quite a hypochondriac. I'm at the doctors with the slightest ailment. I worry that at my age things like cancer could happen. I have a breast cancer check every year. And when I get the all-clear, my heart beats normally again.

S: You said you weren't exercising at the moment, but do you look after your health in general?
J: Jamie makes sure I eat well, obviously! Water is really important too. And sleep, if I can get it, that's crucial.

S: With my children, one goes to bed late and one gets up early so I agree sleep is very important! Finally, I can't imagine you get much time to relax with three little ones, but when you do, how do you switch off?
J: The ultimate treat for me is when Jamie takes the girls out and I settle down with a magazine, some chocolate and a cappuccino -that's heaven!

SO JOOLS, HAVE YOU EVER...

Checked the messages on Jamie's phone? Always, yeah.
Lied about your age? No, not yet, but I might have to later on!
Feigned illness to avoid a social situation? Oh God, yes, every time.
Forgotten Jamie's birthday? Never.
Said: 'Don't you know who I am?' God, no!
Been mistaken for another celebrity? No, but I have had people come over and say that I look like Jools Oliver.
Lied to Jamie about how much something cost? Yes, a lot.
Pretended to cook something for Jamie and secretly used a packet mix? I probably did when we first met but I wouldn't now. He probably knew!

JOOLS WEAR (TOP PHOTO): PLAYSUIT, ARROGANT CAT; SHOES, MODA IN PELLE (MIDDLE PHOTO): DRESS, H&M; SHOES, ASOS (BOTTOM PHOTO): DRESS, OASIS; SHOES, DUNE

PHOTOGRAPHY: EUGENE SPIKETTS, XPOSURE, WENN, ALICIA CLARKE HAIR: GUY KREMER USING L'ORÉAL PROFESSIONEL TECNI.ART MAKE-UP: RUTH WARRIOR AT ONE USING MAC STYLING: TRACEY LEA SAYER STYLIST'S ASSISTANT: NANA ACHEAMPONG

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