POSH & BECKS' 10 LOVE RULES

Showbiz marriages usually have a super-quick break-up date - just 55 hours if you're Britney! But David and Victoria will celebrate 10 years of wedded bliss on July 4. What's their secret? Here, love psychologist Susan Quilliam reveals the marriage commandments - Beckham-style

By Eimear O'Hagan & Polly Graham, 17/06/2009

Marriage secrets of David and Victoria Beckham aka Posh and Becks

Ten years, three kids and still totally loved-up

1 GIVE EACH OTHER SPACE!
Absence makes the heart grow fonder, especially when living on different continents. While Goldenballs is playing football in Italy, Victoria keeps herself busy juggling family life and her fashion career in the States. "We appreciate the time we spend together and we spend hours on the phone when we're apart," she admits. And, let's face it, she doesn't have to contend with his dirty kit on the floor.
Susan says: "Separate interests keep their love fresh and alive. They make the most of, and live for, the time they spend together."

2 FORGIVE AND FORGET
The downside of being a sex symbol is that temptation's never far away. And David's downfall came in 2004 in the form of Rebecca Loos, 32. When he joined Real Madrid, it wasn't long before we discovered David, 34, had been playing away. Victoria, 35, has since admitted: "It was a really tough time. We got through it together. No one said marriage was going to be easy. Yes, there have been bumps along the road, but we've come out stronger and happier."
Susan says: "The Beckhams were obviously able to talk through their problems, learnt to understand one another, and then put it behind them."

Playing happy families with their boys

3 FAMILY COMES FIRST
In a bid to enhance the world's gene pool, the Beckhams have produced a hat-trick of gorgeous sons: Brooklyn, 10, Romeo, six, and break-dancing Cruz, four. His birth nine months after the Loos incident prompted rumours he was a 'band-aid baby.' If he was, he certainly did the trick, as the couple are closer than ever. Victoria doesn't seem keen for a football team though, recently dismissing reports they were trying for number four by complaining: "There's enough testosterone in our house at the moment."
Susan says: "When you're in a loving marriage and know you can weather any storm, having a child can bring you even closer, provide a focus for your love and give you a shared job to do."

4 BE EACH OTHER'S CHEERLEADER
Their biggest fans? Each other. "I idolise him," says Victoria, who's moved home many times to keep the family together. In return, David, who exists "only for Victoria", threw himself into LA's celeb scene to help his wife find her feet with A-listers TomKat and Will and Jada Smith.
Susan says: "Victoria's made many sacrifices, but both have genuinely admired and supported the other. Be proud of what your partner does - and tell them so."

Living it up with their A-list LA buddies

5 DRESS FOR MARRIAGE SUCCESS

Going glam on a night out

Ten years down the line in a marriage and, for some, dressing up for their partner means changing their socks. Not the Beckhams. These two ensure their glamour dial is always cranked up to 11 on nights out. Sure, there's always the chance of being snapped by a pap, but you get the impression that these two would do the dishes in diamanté - had the housekeeper not got there first. Susan says: "It's a sign of disrespect to your partner to let yourself go. By taking care of themselves, David and Victoria help keep the lust alive."

6 WHEN TWO BECOME ONE

They're a match made in heaven!

There have been times when we've struggled to tell the Beckhams apart. Who could forget the matching leathers or floppy blonde hair? But apparently their penchant for copycat behaviour is a sure-fire sign of a successful relationship. Posh in boyfriend jeans, we can handle. But perhaps Becks should have drawn the line at wearing her thongs
Susan says: "While individuality is important, their 'matching' styles, and the overlap between them, shows the world they have a rock-solid partnership - they think, feel and act the same."

7 ALL YOU NEED IS LOVE
Victoria and David travel thousands of miles to spend one night together. In February, they had a romantic love-in which saw David jet from Milan to London while his wife flew in from LA. They also lavish each other with expensive gifts - a £1.2million necklace for her, a £300,000 car for him. Wow.
Susan says: "They're constantly declaring their love. Just saying: 'I love you' every day goes a long way in keeping romance alive."

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8 THE IN-LAWS ARE NOT THE ENEMY
Yes, we know the out-laws are so-called for a reason, but if the Beckhams are anything to go by, the secret of a happy relationship is a happy family. With their hectic schedules, David and Victoria would be lost without Sandra and Jackie, their respective mothers-in-law, who regularly travel with the family, acting as babysitters and allowing the couple to spend precious time alone.
Susan says: "The Beckhams know the importance of making their mums feel involved and valued. They give the family stability and are a vital source of support."

9 NEVER AIR YOUR DIRTY LAUNDRY IN PUBLIC
Behind the scenes, Posh and Becks have had their fair share of humdinger rows. She once admitted punching him in the face amid rumours he'd cheated in the early days of their relationship, and he recently joked that she gave him a hard time for moving to Milan. But unlike other celebrity couples - think Jordan and Peter - they're careful never to argue or criticise each other in public. And while Posh rarely smiles, they always look besotted with each other - regardless of what problems they're having behind closed doors.
Susan says: "David and Victoria have such a public profile that even the slightest hint of tension would quickly come back to haunt them. They never criticise or bad-mouth each other, and if anything negative happens, they close ranks."

Stocking up on sexy undies to wow her man

10 SPICE UP YOUR (SEX) LIFE
Women everywhere were green with envy when Victoria said of David: "He does have a huge one. It's like a tractor exhaust pipe!" No wonder then that Posh is regularly seen scouring LA's sex shops and stocking up on red-hot goodies. And David often buys sexy underwear for his missus. High-flying careers, three gorgeous kids and a great sex life. Sick bucket, anyone?
Susan says: "Love thrives on physical passion. Shared pleasure and sex binds them together and helps them get through stressful times."

PHOTOGRAPHY: REX, PACIFIC COAST NEWS, MATRIX, SPLASH

Your comments

This article has 21 comments

WAITING BABE WAITING. XXX

By tony diamond nuts button. Posted August 3 2009 at 7:48 AM.

I love Victoria Beckham. Whatever some people might think of her, I admire how hard she works for everything, including her marriage. You don't get great things dropped in your lap just like that - you have to work hard for them and that is what Victoria does. She is an extremely ambitious and determined woman, who knows what she wants, and knows how to get it. And how to keep it. There are some people who sit on their sofa all day long, whining and moaning how "lucky" others are. And then there are people like Victoria, who set themselves goals and then work their butt off trying to achive them. That's the reason for her being so very successful in life. And that's why I believe that her marriage will not fail, either.

By Gina Skinner. Posted August 2 2009 at 6:14 PM.

i think both david and victoria are a great couple who love each other and their families with all their hearts anyone that says otherwise are jelous of their great bond.may they enjoy many more happy years together xxxxxxxxx

By lisa. Posted July 13 2009 at 7:26 PM.

No wonder vic never smiles :/
the paparatzzi dont do anything ot help themselves, in their job description it should say stalk celebs because thats all they ever do.

They would be a much happier couple if they had a lot more privacy. Although victoria is staying in the USA for her fashion career. She should atleast take some intrest into David's football career in italy. She has 0 friends in america,and coould make lots more on a different continent.
Atleast if they did move we wouldn't have as much information of their life, which would be better for both them and ME!!!!

PLEASE MOVE TO ITALY VICTORIA (y) xx

By tamara. Posted June 28 2009 at 6:40 PM.

I wonder how David stays married to this woman.
She NEVER smiles, always lookes p. off, and seems to be as rude as can be. She had a show here in the States where she came off beyond obnoxious.
Now she is undergoing boob reduction...good idea Victoria. How they made it this far is that she probably is because of his earlier dalliance, she is making his life hell if he does it again.

By Faith. Posted June 26 2009 at 7:03 PM.

Wow, I bet Jordan or Kate Price what ever she is called would love to be like the Beckham's.
They are always smiling at each other, they keep their marriage private and, it always looks as though they love to be with.
Wow She should take a leaf out of their book instead of being so nasty.
Sorry Jordan you had it all and let it go.

By Teresa Burns. Posted June 26 2009 at 11:14 AM.

The last six months, Victoria did seem a bit lost, without David in the US. She obviously does not get as much attention or much interest without David.

David on his own is just GREAT - in Europe and America he attracts a lot more attention on and off the pitch and he does not need Victoria for that.

Without David's football, Victoria would NOT get all the media exposure. David has managed on his own to resurrect his career in Europe and keep his England place, attracting new fans keeping his Brand strong, as a result of his ability as a footballer. I witnessed him myself scoring AND creating goals for the most talked about players now, like Kaka, and getting acclaimed for it.

Yes, when she met him she was earning more ( just like many footballers of his generation then ) but the Premiership has grown rapidly and like Ryan Giggs, Rio Ferdinanad et al he would be among the wealthiest - wealthier than the individual Spice Girls. His goals are exceptional and his crossing passing ability is still top and he has shown in the last six months that he is still able to do that for club and country.

By vidi. Posted June 25 2009 at 10:01 AM.

I am sure the Beckham brand will continue. Victoria will hang on to him no matter what he does, 'cos the BRAND is better together than apart.
Watch out for more band aid children

By val. Posted June 24 2009 at 11:11 AM.

Great people, i luv the couple so much. There marriage is made from heaven, thank you guys. go ahead and remain blessed.

By lydia. Posted June 23 2009 at 2:09 PM.

Vic is great. I like her. She's attractive, cool and witty. And I'm a straight woman in her 30's.

By michele merino. Posted June 22 2009 at 9:48 PM.

BIG DEAL, I'M MARRIED 57 YEARS TO MY BEAUTIFUL WIFE AND I STILL LOVE HER VERY,VERY MUCH, AND WE WENT EVERYWHERE TOGETHER

By AGNES & ROBERT. Posted June 21 2009 at 5:21 PM.

BIG DEAL, I'M MARRIED 57 YEARS TO MY BEAUTIFUL WIFE AND I STILL LOVE HER VERY,VERY MUCH

By AGNES & ROBERT. Posted June 21 2009 at 5:13 PM.

This is easy to answer. He was getting his oil changed with the home help and others while she sat looking at herself in the mirror.

By Joe. Posted June 21 2009 at 3:35 PM.

Why do some people try to make Victoria out to be lost without David? She is a star in her own right, she was never a WAG. She is famous for herself. Ergo they give eachother amazing press together, something he wouldnt have without her either...

By James. Posted June 21 2009 at 3:20 PM.

Congrats to the Beckhams for 10 yrs of marriage!
They are a lovely couple who have an amazing family and life.
They have had their ups and downs like the rest of us, except in the public eye which must be hard but its what they have strived for. At the end of the day they have got through it, together.
I hope my marriage is as strong and successful as theirs is
Good Luck for the future.

By jewel. Posted June 21 2009 at 3:18 PM.

I have never really been a fan of the Beckhams, however, I have great respect for them where their marriage is concerned. I think if they were not truly in love it would be extremely hard to put an act on for ten years, so good on them. I also hate it when people say Victoria is only with him for the money and if they were to divorce she would get a huge settlement. People tend to forget that she made millions from the spice girls and when they actually first got together Victoria actually had more money then David. I hate it when people are bitter and spout words of jealousy.

By Sam Smith. Posted June 21 2009 at 2:55 PM.

I shall admit I never got the whole Beckham thing....she's not the most gorgeous woman in the world and is far too skinny and he's ok to look at but then he open his mouth!!

But I will agree I have HUGE respect for her. How many woman can you see who have to go through the ridicule and public distress of knowing your husband has played away and then stay at home to work it out?? Especially as she could have dined off the separation for years to come.

For her to take him back and make a go of things and are still together today...I have deepest respect. Marriage is hard enough without public slaughter.

By Gem. Posted June 21 2009 at 2:06 PM.

Why are people always so negative about the Beckhams??? They look very happy together and are great role models unlike Katie & Peter. I think most people would love their lives but instead of admitting it they critisize!!

By Michelle Campbell. Posted June 21 2009 at 11:56 AM.

Some people just don't like to think that other people are happy. Why can't can't they be left alone. They are dammed whatever they do. Personally I admire the way they handle all the negative press. We don't hear about all the charity work and good causes they support because YOU people just want to read the bad press. They're obviously happy with their lfe so I say live and let live!!

By Sandra Evans. Posted June 21 2009 at 11:42 AM.

I guess in this case study it pays to pretend your happy. Which marriage has this article been surveying? Surely not the Beckhams. They look uncomfortable and tense around one another in recent times. People always remark that Posh never looks happy. Well, maybe it's because she isn't.

By Ad. Posted June 21 2009 at 7:17 AM.

It also helps if your income and self-worth depends on sticking with your partner - I'm sure VB would get a huge divorce settlement that would keep her going for a quite some time, but she'd get less press and that would destroy her.

By Sharon. Posted June 21 2009 at 1:26 AM.

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