The House Bunny (12A)

EVER get the feeling you've been conned?

Take The House Bunny, a film about a Playboy Bunny starring the lovely Anna Faris.

Now come on. Anna Faris. Playboy Bunny.

Like many in the audience, I was there to see two things only.

But as well as some sparkling repartee and a poignant underlying message of self-belief, I wouldn't have minded a look at her bangers either.

Sadly, you don't get any of that.

What you do get is a sloppy, lead balloon of a comedy that's almost, but not quite, rescued by a heroic performance from the comely Scary Movie star.

Shelley Darlingson (Faris) is cast out of the Playboy Mansion the day after her 27th birthday and finds herself homeless and unemployed. Heartbroken, she jumps in her car and drives off. And one laboured "blow on this please, ma'am" traffic cop joke later, arrives at a nearby uni on the hunt for a job.

As luck would have it, the geeky girls of the Zeta Alpha Zeta sorority are looking for someone to help them raise money to keep their run-down house open.

Glam

And Shelley steps in with a plan that's guaranteed to get the girls all the donations and new members they need.

That's right: A glam makeover montage, of course, with Girls Just Wanna Have Fun blasting out at a volume that could warp metal.

And soon the Zeta girls are living the lives of Playboy Bunnies.

Disappointingly, this doesn't involve them filming themselves doing the hotel room mambo with a muntered Colin Farrell. It's just push-up bras, make-up and hair extensions. But it has the required effect and soon the girls are raking in cash and new residents, and feeling a whole lot better about themselves.

EAR'S ONE GOOD 'UN: Anna Faris delights as dippy Shelley

So the film's moral comes across loud and clear: Love who you are, ladies-and get yer cleavages out while you're at it.

Finally, a movie with a decent message.

Admittedly, there are some decent performances going on here. Not least of all Faris, who we'll come to later.

But also head Zeta girl Emma Stone, who gets much more time in the spotlight here than she did in Superbad.

Also great is token Goth, Kat Dennings. Back in May I confidently predicted Kat had big things in front of her. And boy oh boy does this film prove me right when she straps on that Wonderbra.

The bad news? These girls are the sole three breaths of fresh air in an otherwise guff pea-souper. Gags run from merely bad to downright wretched.

Celeb spawn Colin Hanks (son of Tom) and Rumer Willis (daughter of Bruce and Demi) are presumably only in this thanks to some Hollywood version of bring your kids to work day.

And nearly everyone else confuses being funny with pulling faces and shouting.

Plus, in a lengthy cameo, Hugh Hefner gets to show off the only part of him that's still stiff these days-his acting.

Even the editing is home movie bad- plenty of scenes and conversations just end with characters staring silently into thin air.

The House Bunny comes from the writers of Legally Blonde.

A film that's not everyone's cup of tea, granted. But it knew its audience inside out and provided a fair few laughs while also launching the career of Reese Witherspoon.

This film's duff comedy, shoddy production values and awful supporting cast scupper its chances of ever rekindling that charm.

There is still one good reason to see The House Bunny, though. And that's Anna Faris. The shameful lack of a nude scene has already been noted.

But beyond that, she can't be faulted. As Shelley, she's a dim, tarty delight. Sparkling like the finest diamonique earrings Bid-Up TV can offer, she squeezes more laughs out of this rotten script than the writers deserve.

Faris is a serious comedy talent, and urgently needs a film that will showcase this properly.

So we turn to the Internet Movie Database and find out her next two projects are: a British comedy about a pub that has a time machine in the toilets.

And something from the idiots behind the c**p US remake of Peep Show.

Oh well. Some day, maybe.

OUT FRIDAY

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