The Firm (18) ***
THE Firm's about as good as football hooligan films will probably ever get. And no, that is not a compliment.
Because let's be frank. It's the same story every ruddy time:
Boy gets the hump with society. Boy gets into football-related gang violence.
Boy gets into a serious fight. Boy gets worried call from family.
Boy gets into yet another serious fight, someone gets knifed, so boy quits the gang and gets a happy ending.
Viewer gets out of his/her seat slightly disappointed but relieved that at least it wasn't as cr*p as Green Street.
And that's the problem right there. If the hooligan-movie horse hadn't been flogged to Beelzebub's boudoir and back over the last ten years, The Firm might have been a bit more impressive.
But we've seen it all before.
Robbie Collin's MovieTime reviews of The Firm and Cloudy with a Chance of Meatballs
And while this umpteenth take on the same old story is a pretty polished effort from writer-director Nick Love, you need a lot more than a snazzy soundtrack and Jimmy Savile's tracksuit collection to make it worth an unqualified thumbs-up.
A sort-of remake of the 1989 Gary Oldman TV movie of the same name, The Firm centres on a 1980s London council estate. Teenager Dom (Calum McNab), gets into hot water after his pal (Billy Seymour) picks a fight with local meathead-in-chief Bex (Paul Anderson).
Dom goes to Bex's local the following day and offers a heartfelt apology, though his mate's not able to do much more than cower in the background.
This impresses Bex so much, he asks Dom along to five-a-side practice - and their relationship quickly moves on from kicking a ball around a park to kicking the 6.57 Crew up and down Portsmouth seafront.
The relationship between Dom and Bex is The Firm's heart and soul. And it's got a weird chemistry that's half Luke and Obi-Wan, half Ted and Ralph. Do Dom's feelings border on the - shock, horror - romantic?
Probably not . . . because Bex has got a face like a bag of chisels. But The Firm keeps you guessing.
And one of the best bits sees local big-shot Trigger (Doug Allen) jokingly lay into Dom for fancying Bex (they turn up for drinks wearing the same outfit - a plot twist that wouldn't be out of place on Will & Grace), while Dom's face flickers with serious self-doubt.
Which brings us nicely to the clobber. The Firm knows its casual fashion. And the tracksuits on display here could have come from the Kazakhstan Olympic rowing team. They are all shades under the sun - apart from anything that takes more than 30 seconds to induce a raging migraine.
From the trackies to the trainers, the attention to detail is great. And this carries over to the script, which gets the 80s patter spot-on by avoiding Cockney rhyming slang (thank feck) for proper street talk.
Plus, wisely, the football itself never so much as appears in the film. The cast might as well be brawling over who's got the biggest feet.
Rucks
However, if the script and characters are subtle, that all goes out the window when it comes to the 80s setting, which is rammed down your throat like so much Black Forest gateau.
Whenever any character turns on the telly, day or night, it's either Only Fools And Horses or Mad Lizzie Webb shaking it out.
Ditto the music. Soundtracking a "good times" montage to Celebrate by Kool & The Gang? Come on, Nick, mate. I've seen subtler jackhammers.
But the biggest problem of all is the mere fact it's a hooligan movie. Not only because the plot's old hat, as mentioned above. But also because there are few things LESS cinematic than a couple of reasonably-sized mobs shouting and throwing the occasional bottle at each other.
Nick knows this and has tried to spice up the rucks with a bit of pogo-stick-cam. So, he's recognised the problem at least - but he's not found a decent solution.
And that's The Firm all over. Four stars for effort but two stars for applying it to the most dead-end, go-nowhere film genre of them all.
So will Nick Love stretch his wings beyond this tired Mockney stomping ground for his next film?
Well, it's a big-screen remake of The Sweeney. So that'll be a no, then.
This article has 4 comments
Paul Anderson will go on to bigger and better things.
Makes the movie and is bigger than the movie.
By flypitcher. Posted September 17 2009 at 9:01 PM.
I've seen it and it's brilliant. It's a film with proper heart and by far Mr. Love's best film to date. He makes Guy Ritchie look like a poorman's Andrew Bruce
By Diablo. Posted September 16 2009 at 2:19 PM.
I saw it to and thought it was brilliant! i like how this time nick used all unknown actors. The acting and storyline was real and you cared about the characters. Great Film for british cinema.
By rachel hardy. Posted September 13 2009 at 11:57 PM.
i saw it and I think its the best film ever made..
By caroline Hickman. Posted September 13 2009 at 6:51 PM.