Year One (12A)

IN the beginning, there was the word. And the word was four letters long and unprintable.

Which is a pity, cos it's the only word suitable to describe this putrid, 120-decibel bumblast of a movie.

All too aptly, this romp through the early pages of the Old Testament is a disaster of Biblical proportions, churned out by Jack Black, Michael Cera and director Harold Ramis (the man who made Groundhog Day, for fecksakes) possibly because they fancied having a bit of a laugh.

Audiences in a similar mood are in for a nasty shock, however, because Year One is nothing less than the worst comedy since last year's Disaster Movie. Set around 1,000 years BC (Before Comedy), the film sees Jack and Mike's cavemen Zed and Oh bumble through a not-so-grand total of four Biblical tales.

The first half covers the Tree of Knowledge, Cain and Abel, and Abraham and Issac-giving Paul Rudd, Christopher Mintz-Plasse and Hank Azaria just enough time to embarrass themselves with sub-par cameos.

The second half's one long Sodom and Gomorrah skit, which frankly they can stick up their jacksies. Chief problem is, the film mistakes messing about for comedy. So we get plenty of Cera's trademark mumbling-and JB gives each of his four facial expressions a good workout-but actual gags number zero.

I didn't so much as crack a smile once. And with recycled one-liners such as 90s pub-bore standard "What's got two thumbs and loves sex?" putting in appearances, most of the cr*p bits aren't even original.

With The Hangover out now, and untold comedy riches on the horizon (clue: rhymes with Pruno), there's no reason to see Year One, at all.

Consign this cack to the history books. Pronto.

OUT FRIDAY

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